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Old 07-08-2019, 07:05 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,940 posts, read 5,297,242 times
Reputation: 17897

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Risky behavior would include senior citizens driving RV's.
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Old Today, 03:55 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
581 posts, read 193,827 times
Reputation: 1471
Smoking, alcohol, starvation, self cutting, pushing too hard with exercise on too little.

All were (or are) ways I have used to cope with stress, self doubt, low self esteem, facing my own imperfections and inabilities and fears. They caused long term damage, but also had benefits as far as more energy, calming effect, helped me forget the present or put me in another state of mind, numbed me so I didn't feel pain. I didn't grow up in the healthiest household, and self care and love was not something really taught to me or that I learned from watching my parents. I've had to learn it along the way and am still a work in progress. This is not blaming my parents. They had very difficult lives and did not have tools to cope either. I also have a brain and a personality that is wired a certain way and there is no overcoming that, just learning to manage it. I don't smoke or drink anymore and haven't for years. I don't starve myself anymore though I am "careful" with food. I do still tend to exercise even when rest is called for (ie injuries, fever etc) as my anxiety and guilt at "resting" is too much to bear at times, but I am working on this.

I often get these vibes or feelings like I am more of a nuisance in society than a valued member and human being. I wish more people would make eye contact, smile, say hello once in a while, not continually cut me off in traffic for not going way over the speed, not judge me for the way I look or am. I'm not bubbly or outgoing, can't run 22 miles at a time or lift 100 lbs, but I am loyal, hard working, caring, and at least somewhat independent. But people don't "see" those qualities up front so I am often passed over for opportunities, and I am not one to shout out and make myself visible or brag about myself. So then I end up internalizing all this perceived rejection. I am very good at internalizing everything. To cope with all these negative and painful feelings I tend to "punish" myself. I wish I could focus more on all the positives and not let the negative feelings and judgment of others rule my life. I wish I could accept and work through negative feelings. But I am only human and I have flaws.
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Old Today, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,856 posts, read 14,356,798 times
Reputation: 30712
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robinwomb View Post
Smoking, alcohol, starvation, self cutting, pushing too hard with exercise on too little.

All were (or are) ways I have used to cope with stress, self doubt, low self esteem, facing my own imperfections and inabilities and fears. They caused long term damage, but also had benefits as far as more energy, calming effect, helped me forget the present or put me in another state of mind, numbed me so I didn't feel pain. I didn't grow up in the healthiest household, and self care and love was not something really taught to me or that I learned from watching my parents. I've had to learn it along the way and am still a work in progress. This is not blaming my parents. They had very difficult lives and did not have tools to cope either. I also have a brain and a personality that is wired a certain way and there is no overcoming that, just learning to manage it. I don't smoke or drink anymore and haven't for years. I don't starve myself anymore though I am "careful" with food. I do still tend to exercise even when rest is called for (ie injuries, fever etc) as my anxiety and guilt at "resting" is too much to bear at times, but I am working on this.

I often get these vibes or feelings like I am more of a nuisance in society than a valued member and human being. I wish more people would make eye contact, smile, say hello once in a while, not continually cut me off in traffic for not going way over the speed, not judge me for the way I look or am. I'm not bubbly or outgoing, can't run 22 miles at a time or lift 100 lbs, but I am loyal, hard working, caring, and at least somewhat independent. But people don't "see" those qualities up front so I am often passed over for opportunities, and I am not one to shout out and make myself visible or brag about myself. So then I end up internalizing all this perceived rejection. I am very good at internalizing everything. To cope with all these negative and painful feelings I tend to "punish" myself. I wish I could focus more on all the positives and not let the negative feelings and judgment of others rule my life. I wish I could accept and work through negative feelings. But I am only human and I have flaws.
You, and your strengths and your experiences are valuable to someone. Since you understand rejection, IMO, you are equipped to give acceptance to others, because you understand its value.

I think your voice here on City Data is valuable. Please never hesitate to post.
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Old Today, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
581 posts, read 193,827 times
Reputation: 1471
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
You, and your strengths and your experiences are valuable to someone. Since you understand rejection, IMO, you are equipped to give acceptance to others, because you understand its value.

I think your voice here on City Data is valuable. Please never hesitate to post.
Thank you so much silibran, much appreciated!
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Old Today, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Surfside Beach, SC
2,294 posts, read 2,678,788 times
Reputation: 4547
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
You, and your strengths and your experiences are valuable to someone. Since you understand rejection, IMO, you are equipped to give acceptance to others, because you understand its value.

I think your voice here on City Data is valuable. Please never hesitate to post.
I agree with silibran. I also appreciate your posts and apparently so do many others, based on the amount of rep posts you have compared to the number of posts.
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