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Both of my parents were alcoholics and died young. My brother is an alcoholic, but some some reason I am not. I watched a dear friend of over 40 years take his last breath on Memorial Day. He was a bad alcoholic for decades, quit for around 5 years and recently started hitting the hard stuff. Between that and the cigarettes his body just quit at 63. Honestly, I'm surprised he made it that long.
I took 120 Hydrocodone in three months after I broke my arm and shattered my wrist a year ago. Don't ask me why but I did not become addicted to them. Yes, I was terrified of it. I'm just lucky that my genetic make up did not include that addiction gene, well, unless you want to include sugar. It's the hardest thing for me to give up. Better that than alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes.
The mind is a complex organ. I don't know what to tell you T.G. except find a pathway to some help that will work for you, lest you end up like my friend and another female friend that died just after her 59th birthday from alcohol related cancer.
You have a problem with alcohol. I have never been so drunk I blacked out or couldn't remember what I did, even after one night drinking after work and having 8 gin martinis and a shot of tequila. I would say you can't keep track of how much you drink and drink too much. Also when I was younger I drank to get drunk. When I got older I just drank to take the edge off. If you can do that, then limit yourself to 3 or 4 drinks for the night, sipped slowly. If you can't then don't drink at all.
Alcoholism is a disease. It is in the DSM 5. It has been a disease for many decades. Furthermore, and this is what you need to know op. Addiction is progressive. Meaning, suppose you quit drinking at 20, and you stay sober for ten years. Then, you relapse. Your addiction would not pick up where you left off. Your addiction in no time will be where it would have been had you never stopped to begin with. Do you understand what this means? To put it simply, the addiction never rests and continues to grow even in abstinence. Staying sober is the only way to have any sort of life.
Unfortunately for you, your addiction is already bad. Which means that it will never get better, only worse. The good news is that you can do something about it. You can decide to stay sober one day at a time. It's too overwhelming to look at it as forever. That's why many programs, including AA, preach one day at a time. You don't have to go to AA to stay sober. However, AA does have its place in recovery. Many people swear by it.
What you will never be able, contrary to what some have suggested, is to control it. You've already crossed that imaginary line of addiction. That can't be reversed. Oddly enough, giving up and accepting that you can't control it is the beginning to getting help.
Good luck op. You need to take this very serious, because already at your young age you are showing signs of late stage alcoholism.
Addiction is progressive. Meaning, suppose you quit drinking at 20, and you stay sober for ten years. Then, you relapse. Your addiction would not pick up where you left off. Your addiction in no time will be where it would have been had you never stopped to begin with. Do you understand what this means? To put it simply, the addiction never rests and continues to grow even in abstinence. Staying sober is the only way to have any sort of life.
It means that your addiction continues to grow even in sobriety. But it can only be released by drinking again. We tend to think that addiction only grows or gets worse if we were using. Unfortunately, that's what progressive in this content means. Once a cucumber becomes a pickel, it can never go back to being a cucumber. To put it simply. If you have alcoholism, you always will. There is no magic pill to treat it. Abstinence is your only hope. These things that I tell you are facts. They only apply to alcoholics, not hard drinkers. There is a difference. You are not alone Op. About 8 percent of people are inflicted with alcoholism.
There's no pill that cures someone of alcoholism, but many alcoholics take antabuse, which is supposed to make them sick if they drink.
Ask any addiction specialist and they will tell you the same thing.
You are not at fault for having alcoholism, but once you understand that it is a disease, then it is up to you to do something about it.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 07-11-2019 at 03:59 PM..
Alcoholism is a disease. It is in the DSM 5. It has been a disease for many decades. Furthermore, and this is what you need to know op. Addiction is progressive. Meaning, suppose you quit drinking at 20, and you stay sober for ten years. Then, you relapse. Your addiction would not pick up where you left off. Your addiction in no time will be where it would have been had you never stopped to begin with. Do you understand what this means? To put it simply, the addiction never rests and continues to grow even in abstinence. Staying sober is the only way to have any sort of life.
Unfortunately for you, your addiction is already bad. Which means that it will never get better, only worse. The good news is that you can do something about it. You can decide to stay sober one day at a time. It's too overwhelming to look at it as forever. That's why many programs, including AA, preach one day at a time. You don't have to go to AA to stay sober. However, AA does have its place in recovery. Many people swear by it.
What you will never be able, contrary to what some have suggested, is to control it. You've already crossed that imaginary line of addiction. That can't be reversed. Oddly enough, giving up and accepting that you can't control it is the beginning to getting help.
Good luck op. You need to take this very serious, because already at your young age you are showing signs of late stage alcoholism.
How do you know how old the OP is? I didn't see his age mentioned anywhere. Maybe I missed it somehow.
How do you know how old the OP is? I didn't see his age mentioned anywhere. Maybe I missed it somehow.
Good question. I think I might have assumed that since he's worried about being beat up a lot. That's not really an adult issue, I wouldn't think. OP hasn't come back. That's a good question to ask if he does.
I started drinking in 1988 and its been quite the ride. I love the altered state that drinking gives you. Of course, that comes with a steep price if you drink as much as I used to: many, many, many trips to the ER for alcohol poisoining, officer escorted rides to the County Mental Health facility, failed suicide attempts and lots of halfway houses. Tried AA (gack!). Made me wanna drink even more after hearing all the horror stories.
I've hit my bottom so many times and when that happens I stop for 7-14 days to give my body some peace. But once I start to feel A-OK its back to the bottle. I recently quit binge drinking. My body just cannot handle that any longer. So now I drink 2 days a week, anywhere from 3-5 hard drinks and thats it.
My doctor is amazed that I am able to do this all on my own. I said "I dont like being told what to do. Let me figure it out for myself." And I have. For better or worse because at the end of the day I just love the taste of booze. Period. And whatever happens, its all on ME. The buck stops here. No assigning blame.
You'll figure out your own path. I wish you luck in your journey.
Last edited by Robert&Ripley; 07-11-2019 at 04:56 PM..
I started drinking in 1988 and its been quite the ride. I love the altered state that drinking gives you. Of course, that comes with a steep price if you drink as much as I used to: many, many, many trips to the ER for alcohol poisoining, officer escorted rides to the County Mental Health facility, failed suicide attempts and lots of halfway houses. Tried AA (gack!). Made me wanna drink even more after hearing all the horror stories.
I've hit my bottom so many times and when that happens I stop for 7-14 days to give my body some peace. But once I start to feel A-OK its back to the bottle. I recently quit binge drinking. My body just cannot handle that any longer. So now I drink 2 days a week, anywhere from 3-5 hard drinks and thats it.
My doctor is amazed that I am able to do this all on my own. I said "I dont like being told what to do. Let me figure it out for myself." And I have. For better or worse because at the end of the day I just love the taste of booze. Period.
You'll figure out your own path. I wish you luck in your journey.
If you can honestly control it, then you're not an alcoholic, you are a hard drinker. If your attempts at controlling it fail, then perhaps you are an alcoholic. Only you, can answer that.
Keep in mind, that addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Many if not all alcoholics have attempted to control it at one point or another only to realize eventually, and usually pretty quickly, that they couldn't.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 07-11-2019 at 06:11 PM..
It means that your addiction continues to grow even in sobriety. But it can only be released by drinking again. We tend to think that addiction only grows or gets worse if we were using. Unfortunately, that's what progressive in this content means. Once a cucumber becomes a pickel, it can never go back to being a cucumber. To put it simply. If you have alcoholism, you always will. There is no magic pill to treat it. Abstinence is your only hope. These things that I tell you are facts. They only apply to alcoholics, not hard drinkers. There is a difference. You are not alone Op. About 8 percent of people are inflicted with alcoholism.
There's no pill that cures someone of alcoholism, but many alcoholics take antabuse, which is supposed to make them sick if they drink.
Ask any addiction specialist and they will tell you the same thing.
You are not at fault for having alcoholism, but once you understand that it is a disease, then it is up to you to do something about it.
I agree with what you wrote about addiction being a constant but you didn't really answer my question. What does it mean for an addiction to grow? What does "grow" mean?
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