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Old 07-16-2019, 09:54 AM
 
214 posts, read 85,060 times
Reputation: 609

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anastasianicole2019 View Post
Neurotic sounds likely! I am just tired of trying to understand what I have been dealing with all these years with my Mother. Getting her help at this point is a lost cause. She refuses to go anywhere. I started thinking about all this last week when her sister brought her to see my new house. She literally came in, sat down, and never looked around or commented on it. The only thing she did was critique everything I said and give advice how to do things differently. All on topics she has no idea about. I mentioned my coworker and where he lives which is about an hour away and she kept saying ďwhy would someone drive that far. There is something wrong with him. He canít get a job elsewhere thatís why he is going thereĒ. I felt like screaming nearly everyone is that far or even further!! I am just at my wits end dealing with her.
I learned from a 12 step program I attend :

I didn't cause it .

I can't control it.

And I can't cure it.
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Old 07-19-2019, 10:47 PM
 
13,695 posts, read 13,632,565 times
Reputation: 39929
Honestly, I think you see a therapist to get your head straight and let them guide you on how to shut down your relationship with your mother. I really don't know what my mother's issue is - narcissism or borderline personality disorder - but either way, I know it's not healthy for me to have a relationship with her.

I was talking with some older friends today and they talked about a lot of emotional and physical abuse growing up. But both have maintained relationships with their parents, albeit with periodic estrangements, and I don't get it. Family is nothing more than a biological accident - sometimes you hit the jackpot, but I've severed the relationships that do not add positive things to my life. I lucked out in the cousin department, and my dad and I are very close despite his dementia. But my mother? Nope. She's moved away from my hometown recently, and I'm overjoyed - I don't even have her new address. But because I fear she's a covert narcissist, I'm being very quiet about the separation and hoping she'll just get wrapped up in her new life and forget about me. She texts occasionally, but I keep my responses very boring, and soon she will have no reason to text me at all.

She's not good for me and she isn't interested in changing, so I don't need her in my life.
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Old Today, 08:24 AM
 
3,754 posts, read 1,814,769 times
Reputation: 3766
You're mother never wanted a kid.

At least not the kid she has and not the way it happened and the way things subsequently turned out.

She's an empty person. Close the relationship.
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