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Old 07-15-2019, 07:06 AM
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
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I was watching a Investigation Discovery she last night about a young man whose mother and sister murdered his father with a pick age. His mother had been very abusive to him his whole life. He entered the army at 18 in order to get away from her.

He made a comment that was quite interesting about his time in Iraq, during the war. He said those were the happiest days of his life. He said he was in a great place because he could shoot back at the enemy, but more importantly, he had a bunch of guys that always had his back.

I think that says a lot about the importance of being part of a family or a community. The world is a lonely hostile place. Going it alone leaves us feeling isolated, vulnerabe, and friendless. Maybe one of the most important things we need to do to help people under mental illness be part of a community.
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Old 07-15-2019, 07:17 AM
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I agree. A strong sense of belonging to a community is important for most people. It helps people to feel wanted and needed.
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Old 07-15-2019, 07:42 AM
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
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Exactly. Living in isolation is no fun, as I know all to well.
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Old 07-15-2019, 10:00 AM
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Agreed---but nothing makes me feel more lonely than being with people who aren't interested in me, don't give me mindful attention when we are together (i.e. playing on their phones), using me just as a filler to alleviate boredom, kill some time, do some favors for them. I typically feel lonelier with other other people than when I'm by myself if I can't be my authentic self or don't feel valued.

So where to find this supportive community? Some neighborhoods have a sense of this, but not every/many. Churches purport to offer it, but not always. Social groups like most Meetup groups, usually not.
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Old 07-15-2019, 10:55 AM
Location: Middle America
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For the vast majority of people, yes. A sense of belonging, solidarity, and acceptance among others is key.
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Old 07-15-2019, 11:55 AM
Location: PA
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Personally, i am not a big people person. I deal with customers all week in the DC, Baltimore and surrounding areas and i am ready to chill out and relax at home at the end of the day. I prefer to not entertain or socialize. If I do decide to go drink some beer and hear a band, i usually go a half hour or so outside my home territory into the area of the PA/MD border North of Baltimore where nobody knows me, just so I don't get recognized from my work or have to play fifty questions about my life with people who know me.

I have a small group of friends I boat with and stay with at the beach, but other than that, being a loner works for me. Should I get into another relationship I would become part of society again.
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Old 07-15-2019, 12:10 PM
Location: East Midlands, UK
729 posts, read 266,835 times
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I agree. I'm socially isolated and would rather just give up on life at this point. Being out there just fills me with envy and sadness. I just want to be normal or able to pass as normal like them. I just want to fit in somewhere, even with just one friend and a partner.
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Old 07-15-2019, 02:13 PM
Location: on the wind
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FWIW, even if there's a community available you can still end up outside of it through your own actions. You could also define an "acceptable" community so specifically or so narrowly you never find one. So often IMHO people seem to think they can't be part of a community unless they are on the board of directors, the movers and shakers. Not true. You can belong, but stay quietly on the periphery. A community could be made up of two people. I think everyone has an internal sense of community to some degree, whether they spend most of their time alone or not. That's the one that matters.

I'm not a very social person either, but I know there are various levels of "community" I could join if I chose to. That knowledge means a lot.

Last edited by Parnassia; 07-15-2019 at 02:42 PM..
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Old 07-15-2019, 02:45 PM
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
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It takes a village. If you don't have a village, then a tribe will do!

Community is huge, IMHO, the more you have, the better your life will be. Of course, you gotta find, make or gather the right kinda community. Nurturing happens in many ways, but so does toxicity.
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Old 07-15-2019, 06:48 PM
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we are gregarious creatures....
feeling part of a group is safety..... and a common purpose...… whether its church ..or a motorcycle gang.... or a sports team...

I believe the internet has shrunk the world ...brought us closer together...its a portal to the world....

you can join just about any facebook group and talk to people around the world.....

I think its amazing...
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