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Old 07-20-2019, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Maryland
1,792 posts, read 578,108 times
Reputation: 3945

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Never. Screw other’s opinions of me. You know what they say opinions are like and everyone has one. First, I have to have some respect for what someone else tells me. Second, I have to believe they are correct in their assessment and 99.9999% of the time, I know myself better than they know me. Having said that, if someone criticizes me and I believe it, then it might be an opportunity to improve myself.

I remember a specific incident. One employer I had used a very cool performance evaluation. Several of your peers were given forms with questions which you could score from 1-10, higher points being better. I got high scores on everything except one and that one was a complete surprise to me and caused me to thoroughly reassess my behavior and thinking. There was unanimous agreement that I had a bad temper. I NEVER pictured myself that way. It was a complete surprise to me and I was constantly “taking my temperature” after that.
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Old 07-20-2019, 11:43 AM
 
1,463 posts, read 810,480 times
Reputation: 2337
If you have never been suicidal over something someone said about you then you are not the demographic the OP wants to answer the question. A lot of responses are from people who would never feel suicidal over the comments of others. It seems to me those responses are not helpful.



The OP is asking how you fight those feelings once they are already occurring, NOT how you avoided feeling it in the first place.
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Old 07-20-2019, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
45,104 posts, read 36,318,714 times
Reputation: 63833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deserterer View Post
If you have never been suicidal over something someone said about you then you are not the demographic the OP wants to answer the question. A lot of responses are from people who would never feel suicidal over the comments of others. It seems to me those responses are not helpful.



The OP is asking how you fight those feelings once they are already occurring, NOT how you avoided feeling it in the first place.

Thanks for trying to guess at what the OP is saying, since the OP hasn't bothered coming back to the post with any additional input and the OP was extremely short.

This is all the OP said:
Quote:
Have you ever felt suicidal over what others have said about you? How did you fight it? How did you let go?
That's it.

And I would think that it is pertinent to have or acquire a certain mindset about comments made about you by other people (no context given so really it could be ANYTHING). That way, regardless of how a person feels now, they may be able to feel differently in the future.

For instance, I am the same person I've always been, with the same basic personality - and I think that's how most people go through life. However, MINDSET is so important. For instance, I will never forget the moment, the very moment, when it suddenly clicked in my head - "I am not responsible for another adults' behaviors. I can't change another adult and it is NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY to do so either." FREEDOM!!!!! This was in the context of living with an abusive husband, and I had been trying everything to hold my marriage together, even trying to "change" his abusive behaviors, with counseling, prayer, altering my own behaviors, etc. etc. So realizing a different mindset made all the difference in the world to future outcomes.
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Old 07-20-2019, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Dark Side of the Moon
209 posts, read 45,302 times
Reputation: 581
Look into MINDFULNESS techniques; they help people get out of their heads to focus on each moment physically and sensually.
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Old 07-20-2019, 06:24 PM
 
605 posts, read 103,653 times
Reputation: 570
I have felt suicidal for having to get up just about every morning struggling to breathe, unable to see well, unable to do away with pain, hair loss, clothing that will never quite fit no matter where I buy them (even at thrift stores) or take them up, unless I spend loads of money I don't have on premium quality clothing. If the style standard was potato sacks or draping robes, I'd fit perfectly.



I have felt suicidal for what seems to be endless deaths caused by everything from poor health to lack of motivation to go on. I have also felt suicidal over the violent behavior of many people, as well as being forced to defend myself from becoming a dead victim more than once.



I have felt suicidal for being "that person with no marketable talent, skill, or reason."


I have felt suicidal for being thought of as useless by people in authority and then shown the door, especially that it happened not once, but time and time again.


I have felt suicidal for constantly losing track of my own thoughts, thinking "slower" than everyone else, being dumber than everyone else in the room. And when I say dumber, I'm not being down on myself, I'm being honest. I cannot even count back change due to a thing called dyscalculia.


What others have said about me? I don't really know and don't really care. They would have to feel extremely low about themselves to bother with wasting time talking about me.
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Old 07-20-2019, 08:50 PM
 
1,463 posts, read 810,480 times
Reputation: 2337
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Thanks for trying to guess at what the OP is saying, since the OP hasn't bothered coming back to the post with any additional input and the OP was extremely short.

This is all the OP said:

That's it.

And that's all you need to know to answer the question that was asked. I give them the benefit of the doubt that they stated what they meant to say, and not the question that a lot of people have been answering instead. The question wasn't ambiguously worded.


Anyway its not a big deal, I just wasn't sure if people realize they are answering a question that wasn't asked.
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Old 07-20-2019, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
45,104 posts, read 36,318,714 times
Reputation: 63833
Quote:
Have you ever felt suicidal over what others have said about you?
No.
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Old 07-20-2019, 10:25 PM
Status: "Venezuela socialist? Like Honduras is capitalist, I suppose." (set 2 days ago)
 
Location: Dallas, TX
4,092 posts, read 2,132,429 times
Reputation: 3811
If you have dyscalculia, try applying for disability. No shame in it. Dan Fincke said a lot about looking down on "stupid" people (which they're actually rarely stupid in any case. More about this below).

Moreover, those people are clueless of what proper scorn's supposed to be about. Here's a chance to school them about it if you wish. Legitimate disrespect is aimed ONLY at people who deliberately set out to hurt, harm, or demean others outside the scope of defense, retaliation, or punishment - naturally this means defend, retaliate or punish only to reasonable and proportionate extents. Merely being the things you claim (real or perceived) are not, by itself, degrading anybody at all - much less deliberately doing so. Therefore the traits you have are an inappropriate target for scorn.

Also, their attitudes imply that they think it's less - less - bad to be dishonest, exploitative, obnoxious, even callous or abusive person that it is to be "weird", "weak", "timid", incompetent, or to have poor thinking skills. That's a shallow, short-sighted and petty view from the start. It blinds people to the fact that strong, smart, bravery, etc. can be used for bad (even evil) acts as well as for good ones.It also reduces civilized humane traits to boring if admirable traits for "winners" at best, a consolation prize for "losers" at worst.

That's bad for everybody, even for those who hold those petty distastes. You disdain poor social and thinking skills more harshly than you disdain callous, cruel, disrespectful behavior, then you end up with a lot of socially skilled and competent but cruel and sadistic *******s at the top. Why do people make this rocket science? And that attitude is why so many people are insecure, why there's so much in the way of nasty social and office politics and turf wars - and overall why this world just cannot have a lot of nice things.


Dan Fincke's Civility Pledge says much more, about this.
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Old Yesterday, 02:00 AM
 
Location: Germany
183 posts, read 32,201 times
Reputation: 341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deserterer View Post
The OP is asking how you fight those feelings once they are already occurring, NOT how you avoided feeling it in the first place.
How can you want to avoid feeling it if you haven't already felt it?
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Old Yesterday, 02:19 AM
 
Location: Right here; Right now
8,790 posts, read 4,452,641 times
Reputation: 1407
Quote:
Originally Posted by homenj View Post
How did you let go?
Never let them win. If I loose control over something some one else says, they win; and they do not deserve a win ... AHs.
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