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It seems pretty common that women are quick to complement other women and like other women’s pictures on social media and all of that stuff. It is also pretty common that a lot of women can be stuck up or arrogant if they are considered attractive because, goodness forbid, some guys may actually show interest in them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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What are you talking about? What is your complaint? Your thread title and post don't align at all.
I don't see it as someone else's job to make me feel better about myself, but of course women give compliments to men.
If you're comparing it to women complimenting other women, then shouldn't your gripe be why don't men compliment men more?
Now that's a good question for discussion. I think its a part of the toxic masculinity structure in society. Men are sooooo very fearful of being thought of as gay, or soft (which they attribute with effeminate), that they don't dare say something nice to guys very often. It's a problem. Ones we, as guys, need to work on. I try to be conscious of it and compliment when appropriate, but I am still held back and usually its something along the lines of "those boots are great, where did you get those?" or something along that line. I need to do better.
I think we should all help each other feel good about ourselves. One way to start is to get rid of all this gender team garbage we see so much of on both sides.
If men have to rely on women to make themselves feel good, then it may be time for them to take an introspective look at themselves and determine why they need women to make them feel good. Women don't owe men anything, including validating their self-worth.
My girlfriend makes me feel great about myself! The way she kisses me, holds onto me while cuddling, and the way she tells me that she loves me all make me feel good about myself. Do I rely on her to make me feel good? Hell no! I have friends, my own hobbies, my own accomplishments, my family, and so many other things that make me feel good about myself. While my girl is part of the reason why I feel wonderful about myself, I don't rely on her to do it--especially since our love languages are different (I'm more of a words of affirmation guy and she's a quality time kinda woman. Knowing this, I'm aware that she won't always express her love to me through words).
It is also pretty common that a lot of women can be stuck up or arrogant if they are considered attractive because, goodness forbid, some guys may actually show interest in them.
They may act that way because they have no interest in the man, and don't want to get involved with him. Be grateful they aren't leading you on, when they have no real interest.
Go and find another woman who may return your interest. Don't keep pursuing someone who isn't for you.
It seems pretty common that women are quick to complement other women and like other women’s pictures on social media and all of that stuff. It is also pretty common that a lot of women can be stuck up or arrogant if they are considered attractive because, goodness forbid, some guys may actually show interest in them.
What are you talking about? What is your complaint? Your thread title and post don't align at all.
I don't see it as someone else's job to make me feel better about myself, but of course women give compliments to men.
If you're comparing it to women complimenting other women, then shouldn't your gripe be why don't men compliment men more?
Now that's a good question for discussion. I think its a part of the toxic masculinity structure in society. Men are sooooo very fearful of being thought of as gay, or soft (which they attribute with effeminate), that they don't dare say something nice to guys very often. It's a problem. Ones we, as guys, need to work on. I try to be conscious of it and compliment when appropriate, but I am still held back and usually its something along the lines of "those boots are great, where did you get those?" or something along that line. I need to do better.
The one place I see men being genuinely supportive of each other is at the gym, which I find interesting. I agree with you in general that men are pretty cowardly about stepping anywhere that might feel soft, yet you'd think a place like a gym would bring out the lunkheaqd in guys rather than something like being supportive, but it's pretty common to hear fairly serious lifters supporting each other, especially if one is down on himself. Sure, they rip each other too, but that really seems good natured.
This isn't a gym where a bunch of competitive body builders or power lifters congregate, but still the men I'm thinking of are often strong, look impressive, and are serious about working out. It's oddly refreshing.
I think it's a cultural thing. Men compliment women because society places a greater emphasis on womens appearance than it does with men. Women spend more time and money on their appearance than men do. That's not to say that society doesn't value a man being well-groomed, but the time needed to meet basic societal expectations is just not equal. When I go 'out', it might take me an hour total to get ready, and that includes showering, shaving (properly, razor, not electric), getting dressed, spray a little cologne, brushing my hair and maybe a little gel, and that's it. When women go 'out', it could be hours and there will be more time in getting hair ready, more time spent on clothes, various devices and contraptions (some of which I still don't have a firm grasp on what they do), makeup, etc etc. There's just no comparison. Even on a regular day, I can get ready for work in about 30 minutes and be out the door. I have known many women who take far longer. I'm speaking in generalities, of course, so nobody thinks I'm broadbrushing.
So when you see a woman who is looking good, there's a good chance she put some time and effort into that. It's notable. It stands out. When you see a guy that looks good, it's not usually because he had to put a ton of time into it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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It’s no ones job to make anyone feel better about themselves.
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