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Old 07-25-2019, 07:26 PM
 
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This is something that some people say but I wonder why? If a kid gets bullied in school and online then reaches breaking point and stabs his bully, he'll be called spoiled. I was also called this when I was talking to a therapist and young expressing similar sentiments (though never went through with any of it) towards my bullies.

My question is why is killing someone considered spoiled? It's definitely a grave offense if not one of the most grave offenses one can commit but people definitely make a distinction if it's a middle aged person doing it vs a young person. Ted Bundy for example is considered crazy, immoral, insane and has an auora of fascination among some people whereas someone like Elliot Rodger is considered entitled, bratty, selfish etc.. They both killed people yet the latter received more 'condemnation'. Why is that?

If a young person were to rape or molest a child, they also would be looked as depraved but not spoiled in the same way. Why is this?
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Old 07-25-2019, 08:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by celticseas View Post
If a kid gets bullied in school and online then reaches breaking point and stabs his bully, he'll be called spoiled.
I've never heard of this in my life.
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Old 07-25-2019, 10:04 PM
 
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I'd be more apt to use the term "damaged." With damage and psychiatric disorders the degree of damage and the progression or regression are important to note. Perhaps the reason for terms which carry more leniency for young people is the hope that early intervention can sometimes alter the course of his behavior.

People are more inclined, I think, to fund help for youth, as their inclinations can be seen as dependent on the conditions in which they were raised. Using less condemning terms, such as "spoiled" does indicate the child's behavior is at least partially a result of someone in responsibility's action. Should a rehabilitation be attempted and be successful he hasn't been labeled a social pariah.

I suppose it's the same reason the DSM uses the diagnosis Conduct Disorder for minors (which indicates behavior needs to be modified) as opposed to Sociopathy or Psychopathy for adults (which are generally viewed as a fixed condition.)

ETA: Would you really be inclined to view a child with predatory sexual behavior as depraved if you knew it was the results of learned behavior from experiencing it as a victim? This is most often the case.
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Old 07-25-2019, 11:12 PM
 
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In answer to the above question. Yes I would be so inclined. When the shoe fits...wear it. AGE, doesn't change the definition. The "pre" events that formed the behavior carry much impact. To a few it's the cause and effect. Ergo creating a justification for the crime.

When a 15 year old deviant assaulted a gal I worked with, she had to listen to the criminals childhood upbringing. Not a tear did she shed for him. For to her...he still harmed her and he still needed to be held accountable. The courts treated him with gentle gloves ,3 years in juvie and he was out again. Remorse is also a learned behavior. Where was that character trait when on trial? He had none. Not spoiled in the financial and opportunity sense....spoiled in the sense he thought he was entitled to harm another and have the courts pity him. And they did.
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Old Yesterday, 07:38 AM
 
53 posts, read 13,852 times
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Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
In answer to the above question. Yes I would be so inclined. When the shoe fits...wear it. AGE, doesn't change the definition. The "pre" events that formed the behavior carry much impact. To a few it's the cause and effect. Ergo creating a justification for the crime.

When a 15 year old deviant assaulted a gal I worked with, she had to listen to the criminals childhood upbringing. Not a tear did she shed for him. For to her...he still harmed her and he still needed to be held accountable. The courts treated him with gentle gloves ,3 years in juvie and he was out again. Remorse is also a learned behavior. Where was that character trait when on trial? He had none. Not spoiled in the financial and opportunity sense....spoiled in the sense he thought he was entitled to harm another and have the courts pity him. And they did.
Backstory? Is it in a place you worked?

But did he improve?
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Old Yesterday, 08:57 AM
 
6,364 posts, read 3,607,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
In answer to the above question. Yes I would be so inclined. When the shoe fits...wear it. AGE, doesn't change the definition. The "pre" events that formed the behavior carry much impact. To a few it's the cause and effect. Ergo creating a justification for the crime.

When a 15 year old deviant assaulted a gal I worked with, she had to listen to the criminals childhood upbringing. Not a tear did she shed for him. For to her...he still harmed her and he still needed to be held accountable. The courts treated him with gentle gloves ,3 years in juvie and he was out again. Remorse is also a learned behavior. Where was that character trait when on trial? He had none. Not spoiled in the financial and opportunity sense....spoiled in the sense he thought he was entitled to harm another and have the courts pity him. And they did.
I agree with you in the social sense although I would still use the concept of damage. In the psychiatric sense understanding the etiology and the appropriate treatment is important and neither pity nor revenge has a place in resolution.

Personal responsibility, however, is crucial. Finding the "sweet spot" where all facets of the extended treatment team agree on method is a problem.

I have seen this effect up front and close where people fail to maintain emotional neutrality and it rarely has good results. People have to have faith in the chosen course of treatment and adhere to it. There's little hope of that as a child moves from a therapeutic to a legal to a home environment.
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Old Yesterday, 09:31 AM
 
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There are spoiled children who are that way because they were overly indulged and not taught proper values. Then there are those children who are spoiled due to harsh treatment, neglect, and/or insufficient food, shelter, etc.

If your definition of spoiled is ruined, damaged, and gone bad - then yes, I think a young murderer is spoiled.

Every day I read in the paper about parents arrested for child abuse. Some of these cases are absolutely horrendous. Every one feels sorry for the children when they are young. But most people feel very little sorrow for these children when they are adults and act out. I am not excusing the behavior, but a rotten child hood does contribute to a rotten adult hood in some cases.
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Old Yesterday, 11:13 AM
 
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Some things like remorse, compassion, are learned. I agree that damaged is a better word since a child growing up in an abusive or neglectful household has no way to pick up these traits.
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Old Yesterday, 11:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by SoCal_Native View Post
I've never heard of this in my life.
Neither have I. Not ever.
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Old Yesterday, 01:18 PM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
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I have not heard of young killers being called "spoiled," myself. Some of them may be socio- or psychopaths. Certaqinly all of them have some profound emotional/psychological damage. When I think of "spoiled" I think of spoiled brats which would hardly be used as a term for a murderer.
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