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Old Yesterday, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Tbilisi
7 posts, read 293 times
Reputation: 15

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Hello Dear People. I am from a small country from post Soviet Union, Georgia (Sakartvelo). First of all sorry for my not very good/or bad English, but i have no choice. i seek for an advice what the Mod cut. i have to do. So i will start. i will tell you what I want to be, and what i want to do. and then what i really do for it. and you people tell me whats the problem and where it is and what i have to do handle the situation and become a man and a person who i want to be:

So, I want to be a true strong man, who has money, who has power, who has good body, good car, good talking maner, good appearance to be loved and liked by most of everyone(its impossible to liked by everyone), i want to be appreciated by my friends and relatives and so on.

But

What I do for that? nothing. I only dream about it. it looks silly but i take a mirror every night when i am alone to myself and practice an do what i want to talk to other people how i want to act in front of people, and i dream and dream and dream and do nothing about that. i always plan to start something from Monday i write everything how to talk, how to act, how i will train, how i will eat but do nothing. and it continues for about 3 years and now i am 21 years old lazybone, who sits all day long in front of computer and read and watches "How to become an Alpha Male" "How to become a man like James Bond" "How to change my life" "how to walk" "how to sit" "how to talk" and so on. but reality never changes. i smoke two pack cigarettes a day. i don't have girls, I don't have money and work, i have some debts, well i am Mod cut..

P.S. I am not ugly or something like that, i was not extremely popular, but rather popular boy in school. i was loved and appreciated by male friends and by girls too. teaches loved me and they were talking that i was a true man from 50s and 60s. but now nothing. i finished school and graduated in university with 50% percent financing from goverment but i didnt studied there. my male friends who had a respect and i feeled that, now make fun of me and didnt respect me anymore like that times and thats not there fault thats my fault, they advanced from teenage period and became better and i - reversed.

P.S.S. Sorry for that i cant tidy up my thoughts i have one more idiotic and silly habit, periodically i choose one of celebrity actors (like: Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Hardy, Matthew Mcconaughey)and i am starting to be and act like them, i am like a 7 years old boy who wants to become spiderman or batman

PLEASE H E L P ME! Show me the road where i have to go and what to do, I have a serious crisis in life, i want to become a man and person who i want to be and not that Mod cut. complexed and isecured silly "big child" who i am now.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 09:33 AM.. Reason: Inappropriate language.
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Old Yesterday, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Germany
200 posts, read 35,886 times
Reputation: 387
Hey ambitious man.
You don't really sound that ambitious to me. :P

Do you like acting? why don't you try going to a drama school?

First of all you have to do something about that missing self-confidence. Talking about it is the first step and well done for doing it.
Do you think everyone is gonna like you if you have a good body, money, power and all that? If anyone is supposed to like you, it's you yourself and then all the rest will come.

You are still really young and probably really anxious about life. But guess what. It's normal.
You are first of all probably bored, and second, you haven't figured out what you want to do in your life.
Just try different stuff. Whatever you feel like doing. Maybe find a job so you can support your hobbies.
Being able to earn money will give you the chance to do what you like without feeling bad about it if it fails.

Maybe try the acting stuff since that's the only hint that you gave about what you would like to do.
Don't dream big. Just do what you feel you might like. And if you like it continue. Have patience and believe in yourself. When the time comes all will work out

If you don't know where to start, just research, ask around. I'm sure youll find something that you like.

Good luuuuck!
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Old Yesterday, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Tbilisi
7 posts, read 293 times
Reputation: 15
Mod cut: Quoted post deleted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gohangr View Post
Hey ambitious man.
You don't really sound that ambitious to me. :P

Do you like acting? why don't you try going to a drama school?

First of all you have to do something about that missing self-confidence. Talking about it is the first step and well done for doing it.
Do you think everyone is gonna like you if you have a good body, money, power and all that? If anyone is supposed to like you, it's you yourself and then all the rest will come.

You are still really young and probably really anxious about life. But guess what. It's normal.
You are first of all probably bored, and second, you haven't figured out what you want to do in your life.
Just try different stuff. Whatever you feel like doing. Maybe find a job so you can support your hobbies.
Being able to earn money will give you the chance to do what you like without feeling bad about it if it fails.

Maybe try the acting stuff since that's the only hint that you gave about what you would like to do.
Don't dream big. Just do what you feel you might like. And if you like it continue. Have patience and believe in yourself. When the time comes all will work out

If you don't know where to start, just research, ask around. I'm sure youll find something that you like.

Good luuuuck!
Yes, you know, i want to be ambitious. Yes I like it very much and i think that i would be a good actor. but if you know Georgia, this profession is dedicated to not having money, have alcohol and drug problems. many of talented Georgian actors died in there 30s by the drug overdose in 21th century. you know i ve never had drug problems, but i had problems with alcohol, not now, thank god. I overcomed that plus fixed bettime schedule thats the only ,,success'' in these cursed 3 years. we have some amazing actors, equal to some hollywood ,,monsters'', but they are poor and dont have money to buy candies for there children, thats a true reality in my country. so thats not a good idea unfortunately

thank you for wishing good luck!

P.S. ,,You are first of all probably bored, and second, you haven't figured out what you want to do in your life." thats very true. today i want something and i am interested but i cant get concentration and second day i want other thing and at the end of the week i have 7 different interests and 0 done ones. starting a normal ,,youth job'' is very hard to start too. because for example in McDonalds and Wendy's average payment for one month is 400-500 Georgian Lari, it is equal to 170 USD and 150 EURO. I want to start something by myself. i thought to start Youtube Channel about how to deal with pshycological and mental problems, because in 3 years I accumulated a huge information and examples about these things. but there is another problem audience is very small for Georgian language. so i am in a deep Mod cut. and don't know what to do. and the biggest problem is that i don't have a good advicer. my father died when i was 5 years old. and i am the only child of my family. i want to talk with someone who will understand everything and with whom i wont be shy what i am writing here, but there is not someone like that. thats why i am writing here. someone will tell me do go to the Psychologyist but in my country they are very expensive and also very unprofessional idiots, thats why i prefer opinions and advices from foreign smart people. thank you very much my German virtual friend

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 09:36 AM.. Reason: Inappropriate language.
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Old Yesterday, 02:43 PM
 
Location: minnesota
6,435 posts, read 2,159,060 times
Reputation: 2217
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gohangr View Post
Hey ambitious man.
You don't really sound that ambitious to me. :P

Do you like acting? why don't you try going to a drama school?

First of all you have to do something about that missing self-confidence. Talking about it is the first step and well done for doing it.
Do you think everyone is gonna like you if you have a good body, money, power and all that? If anyone is supposed to like you, it's you yourself and then all the rest will come.

You are still really young and probably really anxious about life. But guess what. It's normal.
You are first of all probably bored, and second, you haven't figured out what you want to do in your life.
Just try different stuff. Whatever you feel like doing. Maybe find a job so you can support your hobbies.
Being able to earn money will give you the chance to do what you like without feeling bad about it if it fails.

Maybe try the acting stuff since that's the only hint that you gave about what you would like to do.
Don't dream big. Just do what you feel you might like. And if you like it continue. Have patience and believe in yourself. When the time comes all will work out

If you don't know where to start, just research, ask around. I'm sure youll find something that you like.

Good luuuuck!
+1
OP,
If you start tying your self worth to external things it will never be enough anyway. Accept you how you are right now and let the rest be the icing on the cake.
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Old Yesterday, 03:09 PM
 
1,639 posts, read 757,770 times
Reputation: 8976
You want it "all" and you are seeking The Secret Magic Life Recipe.

There is no such thing.

While you have "ambitious" dreams of doing and having everything – money, power, hot bod, popularity – you have found that in wanting it all, you do nothing to move towards having even a fraction of those things. Dreams without effort will be your lifelong waking nightmare.

Pick ONE thing to start. Find a job – even that "normal youth job" – and do the very best you can at it. Learn some skills. Learn how to work with people. Earn some money. So it's low paying? – that's where you begin. What in the world do you have at this point to demand high pay? Do well and you can build upon it. Dedicate yourself to ONE THING today. Work at being the best "normal" working person you can be.

That alone will begin to boost your self-esteem.

Time is passing you by while you're dreaming. Forget a youtube channel offering advice about things you yourself cannot make yourself do or have any experience with. You are not going to be an NBA player either. Or as suave as James Bond.

You can't have everything and you can't have it all now. Frankly, you won't ever have it "all." But you can have a happy fulfilling life if you stop goofing off.

If you can't find a way to concentrate your efforts on one thing, consider seeing one of those "expensive unprofessional idiots" and also do some reading about ADHD.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."

"You have to walk before you can run."

"Rome wasn't built in a day."

"You have to pay your dues."

All true. But get going. There are no shortcuts. Ambitious dreams require ambitious effort.

Thus concludes this "good advicer."
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Old Yesterday, 03:41 PM
 
6,794 posts, read 2,451,682 times
Reputation: 15614
Hey Ambitiousman...I'm wondering, are you the oldest, or an only child? I was wondering because sometimes, the oldest child has a fear of failure, and unfortunately adopt a maladaptive behavior to compensate...in that they don't do anything. If they don't do anything, they can't fail.


If you're an only child, perhaps you feel like all the family is counting on you to be somebody...and it's a lot of pressure. Some people can't handle it very well.


My advice is; Find ONE thing to improve about yourself, and DO IT. For example, if you want a better body, change one aspect, even if it's a small thing, and make it a good habit. For example, maybe having a better body means exercise. Go for a walk every day. Even if it's a short walk, do it every day.


I think, if you do a 'thing' whatever it is, on a regular basis, you will improve your self esteem, and your confidence, because you will have accomplished that one thing. Success builds upon success, and you will have the confidence to attempt other things.


Best wishes!
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Old Yesterday, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,678 posts, read 12,263,338 times
Reputation: 16766
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
My advice is; Find ONE thing to improve about yourself, and DO IT. For example, if you want a better body, change one aspect, even if it's a small thing, and make it a good habit. For example, maybe having a better body means exercise. Go for a walk every day. Even if it's a short walk, do it every day.


I think, if you do a 'thing' whatever it is, on a regular basis, you will improve your self esteem, and your confidence, because you will have accomplished that one thing. Success builds upon success, and you will have the confidence to attempt other things.
Best wishes!
Yes. Great advice! 1 thing.
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Old Yesterday, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Midwest
4,322 posts, read 7,182,705 times
Reputation: 7411
Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted).

Read about Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger. If there's a bio movie about him, watch it 100 times.

And GET OFF YOUR ASS! Lift weights, run, take up a martial art, maybe get a job as a waiter or someone who has to interact with the public all day every day.

As some bore once said, PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE. Action will get you somewhere. Complaining will not. Good luck.

Now go to work!

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 09:24 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,678 posts, read 12,263,338 times
Reputation: 16766
I would say., also...it is imp not to dwell on the problem...but rather the solution, yeah?

Visualize yourself as you would like to be...as you will be one day...as you are destined to be.....
meant to be,
the best person that you are.
See yourself happy, funny, at ease...a person people love being around...confident and kind.
Picture this each morning before you start on your day...and before you go to sleep at night..picture
it until you have a smile on your face.
Know that that is the real you...happy, kind...a person people like.

Worked for me.
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Old Yesterday, 07:29 PM
 
Location: planet earth
5,052 posts, read 1,923,631 times
Reputation: 11148
You need new habits. If you can hire a coach, do that. If not:

1) Quit smoking (positive hypnosis and acupuncture worked for me)
2) Get up early and walk or jog or whatever. Every day.
3) Join some Meetup or Toastmaster groups
4) Do stuff you love to do every day.
5) Report back
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