Why is being too nice a bad thing? (inability, husband, feelings)
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But it reminded me of a lady I used to work with who would fall under the "too nice" category. Very gracious, very polite..... and it was like she was a fake person, there was nothing about her I could relate to. Also, her make-up was always impeccable, like full, heavy camera ready make-up, and her hair was always done, and I mean up on her head "done." Think pageant contestant.
Worked with her 6 years, can not tell you anything about her as a person, she might as well have been a cardboard cutout.
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Some people perceive that as being weak or needy. As in, "I want to please everyone" or "I desperately need to be liked."
It's just human nature, in a way. Ever notice how snooty people sometimes have gobs of friends, or people who want to be their friends? It's because of the theory, "Why would I want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member?" Someone is perceived as very picky; therefore, if you get "in" with that person, you must be special.
Then there's the thing about dealing with people on a business level. Some think that if you're too nice, you'll be taken advantage of. I don't know if that's true. I tend to think that people who take advantage of people are equal opportunity jerks.
You can be nice, but no fool. And you can be snarky, and a fool.
Very interesting point. I have experienced this myself. I am a lot less nice, probably a completely different person than I was 10 years ago. If my past self met me, he probably be like WTF???
But anyway, since I became more of a grouch so to speak, I've noticed more people trying to be around me or be in my life on some level.
But as to whoever gets taken advantage of, I believe the nicer person is more likely to be taken advantage of than the not so nice person. At the same time, the more gullible person or the fool is also more vulnerable. There are different types of users and advantage takers, the smarter ones would target the nicer and/or the more gullible ones.
Last edited by TJenkins602; 08-09-2019 at 11:45 AM..
But as to whoever gets taken advantage of, I believe the nicer person is more likely to be taken advantage of than the not so nice person. At the same time, the more gullible person or the fool is also more vulnerable. There are different types of users and advantage takers, the smarter ones would target the nicer and more gullible ones.
Who says nice people are gullible or not smart? You can have your eyes and ears open, and your brain turned on, at the same time as a smile.
Who says nice people are gullible or not smart? You can have your eyes and ears open, and your brain turned on, at the same time as a smile.
If I was mean, I would probably say...
umm... I didn't say that nice people are gullible and not smart. I said nice people are more likely to get taken advantage of, and gullible people are more likely to get taken advantage of. (Some version of) Learn reading comprehension!!! (insert insult here).
If I was (too) nice, I would probably say...
Oh, I am sorry, you're right. I'm such a jerk. I'm a horrible person, I'm stupid and horrible. Please forgive me...
Now, a balanced response in my mind would probably be more along the lines of...
Hmm, that's what I was getting at. I didn't mean that nice people are gullible. I was saying nice people are more likely to be taken advantage of. Also, that gullible people are also vulnerable to be taken advantage of. Nothing about nice people being gullible. I probably could've worded it better.
Also, these are just my observations.
P.S.
Another thing I have observed in my "nice days" is that it is not just being fooled, there is also the guilt complex that I deal with and people can use guilt trips to manipulate me to doing what they want. And I'm one of those types that have to wait until they have done something even though I get a great sense of their intentions (because of the possibility of court).
I've been told by multiple people my whole life that I am too nice. They say it like it's a bad thing. People have told me, "I like you, but you are too nice." "You are way too nice." I'm told by multiple people that I am extremely polite and that I am one of the sweetest most kindest guys they've ever met. However, people have also told me that I should not be too nice.
I am honestly just being myself.
Why is being too nice a bad thing?
Don't know about you personally, but I don't trust people- period. I set consistent and healthy boundries, so I don't get taken advantage of. "Nice" people worry too much about others feeling- that is called Co-Dependency.
I've been told by multiple people my whole life that I am too nice. They say it like it's a bad thing. People have told me, "I like you, but you are too nice." "You are way too nice." I'm told by multiple people that I am extremely polite and that I am one of the sweetest most kindest guys they've ever met. However, people have also told me that I should not be too nice.
I am honestly just being myself.
Why is being too nice a bad thing?
It's not, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
In my experience, nice people are MUCH happier than those who aren't.
Wow why? Everyone in my universe is nice. Who wants to be around rectums?
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