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Old Yesterday, 10:50 AM
 
16 posts, read 3,065 times
Reputation: 18

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Are the people a narcissist keeps as a secret source or supply more valuable than the ones they are more public with? I dealt with a narcissist who kept me a secret from close friends. Yet when I would try to pull away he'd turn up to a level 10 to try and keep me around. Eventually I moved on as I found he had another woman. But I still wondered about his behavior or narcissistic behavior.
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Old Yesterday, 11:02 AM
 
627 posts, read 273,296 times
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Because it's all about them.

Narcissistic people want everything -and everyone- for themselves. And they can't stand it when someone ups their game. They need to feel inferior.

Lived with a few. And had the miserable experience of having children with one. Yet I was slow to catch on and it gotten worse as time went by. But my children are the best thing, other than my wife, that has ever happened to me. She helped me through thick and thin, learn to love myself and others again, and plan on being with her all my life!!
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Old Yesterday, 11:34 AM
 
16 posts, read 3,065 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeanGuitarist View Post
Because it's all about them.

Narcissistic people want everything -and everyone- for themselves. And they can't stand it when someone ups their game. They need to feel inferior.

Lived with a few. And had the miserable experience of having children with one. Yet I was slow to catch on and it gotten worse as time went by. But my children are the best thing, other than my wife, that has ever happened to me. She helped me through thick and thin, learn to love myself and others again, and plan on being with her all my life!!
Glad you were able to move on.
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Old Yesterday, 11:37 AM
 
16 posts, read 3,065 times
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One more question...
I discarded the narrcisst guy I was dealing with 1st before he could do so to me. Do you think this might enrage a narcissist? If he were to retaliate what could he really do since I was his secret? Though luckily I have not heard from him for a month.
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Old Yesterday, 12:28 PM
 
Location: equator
3,595 posts, read 1,586,898 times
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I moved far, far away from mine. One kept after me for a year, through relatives he knew.

Watch out.
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Old Yesterday, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
14,809 posts, read 9,194,843 times
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So as with my post gaslighting, BPD and Narcissism tends to go hand-in-hand.
Been trying to read up on these three things and one thing that someone whose a narcissist will do is twist an argument. To the point you cant even remember what you were fighting about and they us that against you.

My wife does this a lot.
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Old Yesterday, 05:13 PM
 
4,083 posts, read 1,754,875 times
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I’m not sure what hiding a relationship has to do with narcissism. There are a variety of reasons why someone might do that- cultural differences, cheating(!!!), some sort of ethical issue professionally... none of which are related to narcissism.
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Old Today, 08:36 AM
 
4,139 posts, read 2,682,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
Iím not sure what hiding a relationship has to do with narcissism. There are a variety of reasons why someone might do that- cultural differences, cheating(!!!), some sort of ethical issue professionally... none of which are related to narcissism.

Agree. I don't think having someone be a secret makes them valuable to the narcissist.
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Old Today, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
8,955 posts, read 13,740,488 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
Iím not sure what hiding a relationship has to do with narcissism. There are a variety of reasons why someone might do that- cultural differences, cheating(!!!), some sort of ethical issue professionally... none of which are related to narcissism.
My thoughts exactly. It sounds like the reason he kept her a secret was because he was dating someone else and that someone else knew his friends and he worried if he introduced the OP to his friends, one of them might tell his actual girlfriend he was cheating on her. As for the reasons he would cheat, there are again numerous options, none of which are necessarily related to narcissism, especially actual NPD.
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