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Old 08-07-2019, 10:24 PM
 
695 posts, read 119,750 times
Reputation: 649

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Yes, this is serious. I'm asking this because it's come to the point in my life of seriously starting to wonder why everywhere I go in every place I've lived, I am told that I am somehow "different from everybody else." Not just that, but I am always singled out in public places as someone with a potential to be doing something wrong? For example, when I ride the trains, the conductors come right for me asking to see proof that I've paid but walk right by other passengers. In stores, the sales people will either follow me or stand around waiting in the aisle wherever I am while other people walk out the door with theft detectors ringing. I just don't get what I'm doing so differently than everyone else when out and about.


I know it would be easy to write this one off as a race thing, but this happens no matter what race and no matter how many others like myself are around. I'm the one singled out, not them.



I certainly don't feel that I'm anything other than a regular human being.


Does anyone else have this problem, and how does it make you feel?
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Old 08-08-2019, 02:13 AM
 
Location: Germany
211 posts, read 38,190 times
Reputation: 422
Do you feel like people are looking at you weird? A friend of mine told me that when he was younger he got this feeling that people changed when he was around.

It's just my personal opinion, but usually people who feel like this are projecting their insecurities on others.
For example, because people have said that you are different, you start feeling different and notice other people staring at you more. Then your brain is having this confirmation bias and you only notice things that confirm that you are different.

If you don't stand out a lot(wear clothes that have bright colors, or have an appearance that is noticable - uncommon hairstyle or style in general), then it's probably just the way you look at others. You are suspicious of others, and in turn they are suspicious of you.

I hope it makes sense for you. Don't give too much thought to these things. If you get anxious, close your eyes and focus on your breath for a bit.
People will always be curious, people will always stare, and it has nothing to do with you. Live your life and accept that all people are different. And if everyone is different, everyone is the same.
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Old 08-08-2019, 02:23 AM
 
Location: East Midlands, UK
816 posts, read 288,437 times
Reputation: 1744
Yes.

It's because I'm hideous and extremely socially awkward and I have quite severe dyspraxia, which makes me stand out even more due to my tendency to trip over or hit myself on things. I know people are looking at me and judging me. It's a vicious circle, because it just adds to the anxiety I already have whenever I go out.
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:31 AM
 
695 posts, read 119,750 times
Reputation: 649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gohangr View Post
Do you feel like people are looking at you weird? A friend of mine told me that when he was younger he got this feeling that people changed when he was around.

It's just my personal opinion, but usually people who feel like this are projecting their insecurities on others.
For example, because people have said that you are different, you start feeling different and notice other people staring at you more. Then your brain is having this confirmation bias and you only notice things that confirm that you are different.

If you don't stand out a lot(wear clothes that have bright colors, or have an appearance that is noticable - uncommon hairstyle or style in general), then it's probably just the way you look at others. You are suspicious of others, and in turn they are suspicious of you.

I hope it makes sense for you. Don't give too much thought to these things. If you get anxious, close your eyes and focus on your breath for a bit.
People will always be curious, people will always stare, and it has nothing to do with you. Live your life and accept that all people are different. And if everyone is different, everyone is the same.
I see, but I don't have nearly that much of a problem with people staring - if they even do because that's not what I'm noticing - I'm talking about being singled out by public workers as someone trying to do something wrong, such as steal or not pay for a train ticket. This has happened to me all my life with public workers.
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Old 08-08-2019, 08:38 AM
 
695 posts, read 119,750 times
Reputation: 649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy-Cat-Lady View Post
Yes.

It's because I'm hideous and extremely socially awkward and I have quite severe dyspraxia, which makes me stand out even more due to my tendency to trip over or hit myself on things. I know people are looking at me and judging me. It's a vicious circle, because it just adds to the anxiety I already have whenever I go out.
Well, I'm already thinking about it being that I've always been disoriented in everyday life. Just yesterday, I was simply sitting across the aisle from a girl when her companion asked if she knew me, just out of nowhere, the girl says "she's weird, nobody wants to know her."

I just don't get it, especially when I'm just wondering my own business.
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Old 08-08-2019, 09:08 AM
 
Location: East Midlands, UK
816 posts, read 288,437 times
Reputation: 1744
Quote:
Originally Posted by aileesic View Post
Well, I'm already thinking about it being that I've always been disoriented in everyday life. Just yesterday, I was simply sitting across the aisle from a girl when her companion asked if she knew me, just out of nowhere, the girl says "she's weird, nobody wants to know her."

I just don't get it, especially when I'm just wondering my own business.
Ppl are becoming more informant and judgmental. I hate it.
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Old 08-08-2019, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Germany
211 posts, read 38,190 times
Reputation: 422
Quote:
Originally Posted by aileesic View Post
Well, I'm already thinking about it being that I've always been disoriented in everyday life. Just yesterday, I was simply sitting across the aisle from a girl when her companion asked if she knew me, just out of nowhere, the girl says "she's weird, nobody wants to know her."

I just don't get it, especially when I'm just wondering my own business.
Think of yourself like a mirror. When people judge you, they are basically judging what they don't like about themselves.

Madonna said it. We only see what our eyes want to see. :P

So instead of just seeing, think. if you are just standing around minding your own business, and a random girl says "she's weird, nobody wants to know her", who is the weird one? she is saying the truth, but for herself.
The companion asked her if she knew you probably because he noticed that she was looking at you weird.
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Old 08-08-2019, 10:26 AM
 
784 posts, read 203,685 times
Reputation: 1200
No, but I treat everyone else with suspicion. I am not interested in taking advantage of anyone, but I don't trust others to behave that way.
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Old 08-08-2019, 11:50 AM
 
3,649 posts, read 931,154 times
Reputation: 4183
Quote:
Originally Posted by aileesic View Post
Yes, this is serious. I'm asking this because it's come to the point in my life of seriously starting to wonder why everywhere I go in every place I've lived, I am told that I am somehow "different from everybody else." Not just that, but I am always singled out in public places as someone with a potential to be doing something wrong? For example, when I ride the trains, the conductors come right for me asking to see proof that I've paid but walk right by other passengers. In stores, the sales people will either follow me or stand around waiting in the aisle wherever I am while other people walk out the door with theft detectors ringing. I just don't get what I'm doing so differently than everyone else when out and about.


I know it would be easy to write this one off as a race thing, but this happens no matter what race and no matter how many others like myself are around. I'm the one singled out, not them.



I certainly don't feel that I'm anything other than a regular human being.


Does anyone else have this problem, and how does it make you feel?
This wouldn't happen to be in the American south, small town, would it?
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Old 08-08-2019, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,698 posts, read 33,590,415 times
Reputation: 32504
Yes and most of it stems from the combination of my race, size, and my gender. It makes me mad and less trusting of people since they don’t trust me obviously.
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