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Old 08-09-2019, 06:45 AM
3 posts, read 147 times
Reputation: 10


Dear people,

I'm 22 now and I have to make big life decisions and it feels terrible to me. I was doing med school, but I sometimes doubted about it because I was scared it would ruin my 20's and I wouldn't get anything out of my life, plus med school doesn't give you that much career options so I thought my freedom was gone. But then, I almost didn't pass my first year (which means you get kicked out), and then all of a sudden all I wanted to do was med school. My whole opinion changed, I was like: 'Why did I worry so much about that irrelevant things, I 100% want this!'. It feeled like my whole perspective on things changed at that moment, until I was 'safe' and was able to go the my second year. The negative thoughts came back and I was imagining a perfect life when I would do a good Business degree. I thought, with such a broad degree I'm going to feel perfect and I have way more options. So I did that, but it actually didn't make me feel much better. Instead of feeling freedom in my mind, I was worrying about med school again. I thought, have I left med school for the wrong reasons? Am I a fool? What if I regret my whole life that I didn't become a doctor? etc etc. I can still choose to proceed with either business school or med school, but I feel like I can't make the choice.

This negative thought pattern also happens in another scenario for me. The city where I study is +- 40 minutes away from where I live. I still live with my parents, I can get along with them very well. I also can go out and party very good in my own town. But I can also choose to live in the city where I study and join a frat, but that is going to cost me loads of money, so I have to borrow. This is another decision I can't make and it can make me really sad when I think about it. I have the feeling that I ruin my life when I don't move out, I'm constantly thinking that when I'm moving out I would have got less problems, that I have less time to think about things and that I would have more girls than I already have etc (I already got much girls in my own town), and that I really miss out on student life and that I will regret this my whole life. And when I began to feel more and more sad when I'm deep in my thoughts, it feels like what I believe is more and more true and I'm picturing the perfect life I would have when I would live in the city where I study and the freedom I would feel (and I get more sad). It's like I can't think rationally anymore at that moments.

A good example is yesterday. I had an amazing day, I went shopping in a nice city, in the night I went out in my hometown and had an awesome night. Everything was fine until I started to think about the choices to made and the countless possibilities I have. I'm so scared to make wrong decisions and when I think about the decisions I get sad and feel anxiety. I also feel enormous pressure to enjoy my life to the fullest while I'm still young. When someone says; 'you have to enjoy, time goes faster then you think', or 'make sure to get everything out of your student time', I feel terrible.

In summary, I have a great hometown, there are plenty of things to do here, the town where I study is also good, I have 2 very good college degrees to choose from, I have many friends here, go out a lot, I am doing good with girls, have nice parents, no financial problems, I workout and am looking fit, but I still feel like absolute garbage sometimes. I hope you guys can help me a bit with my process and share some thoughts with me.
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Old Today, 11:52 AM
Location: Germany
221 posts, read 39,317 times
Reputation: 430
You are anxious if you are making the right choices right?
I can absolutely 100% tell you that there are no right choices to be made. You cannot predict the future. All you can do is relax and enjoy your life.

Do you like living with your parents? Then stay with them until you no longer want to stay with them.
Do you like your school? Then study there, until you get a degree or until you figure out something else.
There's no perfect life in the future.

Sit and think. Thinking is a good thing. If you think of something and it makes you feel bad, it just means you are not thinking rationally.
If you get stressed while you think, just stop yourself consciously and take a deep breath. You probably forgot. You were probably just thinking of bull****.
Think of all the people who are in your life. Be thankful for what you have experienced and what you will experience. And most of all be thankful for yourself.
Believe in yourself. You are not a kid. You are an adult.
Do you have questions? Ask them. You have people in your life that care.
You will make mistakes and you will learn from these mistakes. If you learn, it was worth it.
There will maybe come some difficult times in your life, and you are going to manage.

The point of being alive is to follow your heart and be happy.
Happy not with what will come, but with what you have right now.
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Old Today, 11:27 PM
Location: Castle Rock, CO
211 posts, read 142,129 times
Reputation: 421
Take a breath. It sounds like you have some great prospects, and you're at a stage in your life where you have tons of flexibility.

There is something much more important to your well-being and long term happiness than deciding whether to pursue medical or business school: learning to appreciate and enjoy where you're currently at in life. If you don't do this, you will spend your whole life worrying about planning the next thing, which is a giant waste of life.

Make a decision. Follow through with it. Who cares if it ends up not being the "right" one? You can always pivot and make adjustments. For example, if you finish medical school, but then decide you don't actually want to be a doctor, there are plenty of jobs in the medical field where your degree may be valuable (some examples: work for a pharma company in any number of verticals (sales, operations, etc.), work in hospital administration, do medical research for a university).

I'd recommend spending 5-10 minutes every morning having a gratitude moment. Literally, sit there and think through all of the things you are grateful for. You need to wire your brain to appreciate and enjoy. You're going to go through life and have WAY bigger problems come your way. You will make it through those too - but it will be a lot less painful if you can always reflect on all of the good that you have.
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