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How often do you meet them? I feel like there are so many unstable people nowadays, at least here in the US.
By this I mean someone is really is level headed, very optimistic, extremely empathetic, intelligent, mentally very stable and a joy to be around? Someone that you want to spend your time around and that you see everyone loves and cherishes. They are also interesting with so many interests and life experiences and they share it with people. Someone who is not scared to be vulnerable. Someone that has something special to them and they are just different than the rest.
How many of you have come across a person like that? I recently did and it really changed my world. To see someone so uplifting.
Sounds like you're asking if one has ever met someone who has only positive qualities and no negative ones. This would indeed be very rare, not only today but any time in the past. This is all about degrees, meaning how high your standards are. I've never met anyone who's perfect. I have however met many people whose positive qualities far outweigh their negative ones.
How often do you meet them? I feel like there are so many unstable people nowadays, at least here in the US.
By this I mean someone is really is level headed, very optimistic, extremely empathetic, intelligent, mentally very stable and a joy to be around? Someone that you want to spend your time around and that you see everyone loves and cherishes. They are also interesting with so many interests and life experiences and they share it with people. Someone who is not scared to be vulnerable. Someone that has something special to them and they are just different than the rest.
How many of you have come across a person like that? I recently did and it really changed my world. To see someone so uplifting.
Almost like a unicorn nowadays. Very rare.
I've met a lot of people who fit this description. But I've had to "kiss a lot of frogs" so to speak, as they're still not the majority of the many people I meet. Still, I suspect that it is easy to keep a perception alive of certain people as being simply THIS, when I don't take the time to get deeply invested with them. Like maybe if I spent a lot more time one-on-one, and we had to rely on each other, and our connection deepened, I might find more negative attributes that, in a surface level thing somewhere between acquaintanceship and friendship, I will never have to deal with.
I might meet a new person who is incredible in every interaction, but we only see one another out at social engagements we both attend. So I don't know if they live in a trashed apartment where the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in literally years. I don't know if they tortured animals as a little kid, or if they were cruel to a former love interest. Lots of things I might not ever know about them, that might shape my opinion negatively, if I did.
I guess this is why I rarely get into really deeply committed connections with people. I consider very, very carefully before really letting someone in, to my innermost life, where we share everything. I like to think positively of other people, and for a lot of them it's probably easier for us both to do that, when we don't have exposure to the good, the bad, and the ugly about one another.
How often do you meet them? I feel like there are so many unstable people nowadays, at least here in the US.
By this I mean someone is really is level headed, very optimistic, extremely empathetic, intelligent, mentally very stable and a joy to be around? Someone that you want to spend your time around and that you see everyone loves and cherishes. They are also interesting with so many interests and life experiences and they share it with people. Someone who is not scared to be vulnerable. Someone that has something special to them and they are just different than the rest.
How many of you have come across a person like that? I recently did and it really changed my world. To see someone so uplifting.
Almost like a unicorn nowadays. Very rare.
j Yeah, I thought that kind of used to be normal, but I'm thinking now that I was wrong...?
How often do you meet them? I feel like there are so many unstable people nowadays, at least here in the US.
By this I mean someone is really is level headed, very optimistic, extremely empathetic, intelligent, mentally very stable and a joy to be around? Someone that you want to spend your time around and that you see everyone loves and cherishes. They are also interesting with so many interests and life experiences and they share it with people. Someone who is not scared to be vulnerable. Someone that has something special to them and they are just different than the rest.
How many of you have come across a person like that? I recently did and it really changed my world. To see someone so uplifting.
Almost like a unicorn nowadays. Very rare.
They live life with the attitude of "the glass is ALWAYS half full"
Almost all my friends. Mostly foreigners though. Most of my American friends are on either depression, pain and/or other pills.
I have been told by men that they are impressed how I have my crap together, mentally and financially and that it is intimidating to be so accomplished. It makes me feel boring because I am not as fun crazy. I am happy but not exciting crazy entertaining.
Almost all my friends. Mostly foreigners though. Most of my American friends are on either depression, pain and/or other pills.
I have been told by men that they are impressed how I have my crap together, mentally and financially and that it is intimidating to be so accomplished. It makes me feel boring because I am not as fun crazy. I am happy but not exciting crazy entertaining.
I've been told that I am intimidating, too. Which really bums me out now and then, depending on the context.
I mean for one thing, it's a particularly nasty little psychological gremlin of mine, that my situation with my ex and having to be "the adult" at all times with our lives and our kids... Like I had to be the one making sure that everything got done. On weekends, he could get drunk or high because it was taken for granted I'd be there, sober, ready to drive anyone anywhere or go run to the store or do anything needing done. I worked full time but also did the majority of cooking, cleaning, child raising, planning and executing everything from doctors' appointments to family vacations, running the household finances...like every adult thing. And if I was ever sick, my ex was instantly much sicker, so I had to buck up and care for him. If I was sad or upset, he was 10 times more so. So I learned to always be OK even when I wasn't. Never to show any weakness.
And that was a large part of what drove us apart at the end, and also a large part of what drove me to the BDSM community (though I found a lot more than that)...I was so tired of this insane expectation that I would always be "perfect" and it felt like I couldn't even be a human being. Sometimes I am desperate for someone else to just be the adult for a change. Take care of me, instead of expecting me to take care of everything. It's all just too heavy, and damn it...I'm tired.
But even now, though, I feel like there is an expectation that I won't be any bother to anyone. It leads me to isolate when really I need support. It also leads me to look at my more mercurial, emotionally expressive, volatile friends, or those with problems, who ask for support and get it...and I feel like, "How do you even get away with that? The people in my life would hate and shun me if I imposed on them like this. Must be nice to be truly loved so much, that you can be forgiven, for being human."
So point being, I guess, is that on a surface level, when I haven't shown all of ^this^ kind of thinking to people, I often seem to really have my stuff together and I can see how some might perceive me as one of these "unicorn" people but there is definitely more going on under the surface, and not all of it is nice by a long shot. I think a lot of it is just that we don't always know what people are struggling with, rather than a matter of them not having any struggles at all.
I've been told that I am intimidating, too. Which really bums me out now and then, depending on the context.
I mean for one thing, it's a particularly nasty little psychological gremlin of mine, that my situation with my ex and having to be "the adult" at all times with our lives and our kids... Like I had to be the one making sure that everything got done. On weekends, he could get drunk or high because it was taken for granted I'd be there, sober, ready to drive anyone anywhere or go run to the store or do anything needing done. I worked full time but also did the majority of cooking, cleaning, child raising, planning and executing everything from doctors' appointments to family vacations, running the household finances...like every adult thing. And if I was ever sick, my ex was instantly much sicker, so I had to buck up and care for him. If I was sad or upset, he was 10 times more so. So I learned to always be OK even when I wasn't. Never to show any weakness.
And that was a large part of what drove us apart at the end, and also a large part of what drove me to the BDSM community (though I found a lot more than that)...I was so tired of this insane expectation that I would always be "perfect" and it felt like I couldn't even be a human being. Sometimes I am desperate for someone else to just be the adult for a change. Take care of me, instead of expecting me to take care of everything. It's all just too heavy, and damn it...I'm tired.
But even now, though, I feel like there is an expectation that I won't be any bother to anyone. It leads me to isolate when really I need support. It also leads me to look at my more mercurial, emotionally expressive, volatile friends, or those with problems, who ask for support and get it...and I feel like, "How do you even get away with that? The people in my life would hate and shun me if I imposed on them like this. Must be nice to be truly loved so much, that you can be forgiven, for being human."
So point being, I guess, is that on a surface level, when I haven't shown all of ^this^ kind of thinking to people, I often seem to really have my stuff together and I can see how some might perceive me as one of these "unicorn" people but there is definitely more going on under the surface, and not all of it is nice by a long shot. I think a lot of it is just that we don't always know what people are struggling with, rather than a matter of them not having any struggles at all.
Yes, yes, yes!! Except the BDSM haha. My ex husband was like a child. One of us had to grow up and it for sure wasn't him.
Before him I was partying for 10 years but still got my basics in order. THen I married, moved to the US and within a week I had to grow up. He didn't look for a house, he didn't pay bills, we were broke because he just spent spent spent.
He could not even help planning a vacation. He would just pick the first suggestion that comes up in the internet and book it. If I was sick, he was "unable' to walk the dog. If I yelled at him he walked the dog for 5 minutes and then I had to praise the crap out of him. I lost total respect.
That's why I am more drawn to dominant men now who take charge - I am so tired of wearing the pants. People said they admire my strength - I had no choice, I had to become independent if I wanted or not. Somewhere on the way I lost my slightly crazy fun Eve. It only comes out while doing extreme sports, I guess that's my BDSM!
From what I've been told, that's me and in my eyes, the soon-to-be-wife of my best friend(and a good friend of mine.)
But it really isn't that rare for me.. People are usually really nice and friendly and want to have fun.
It's also a matter of perspective I guess.
If anything, I have found it incredibly rare to find the opposite.
Almost all my friends. Mostly foreigners though. Most of my American friends are on either depression, pain and/or other pills.
I have been told by men that they are impressed how I have my crap together, mentally and financially and that it is intimidating to be so accomplished. It makes me feel boring because I am not as fun crazy. I am happy but not exciting crazy entertaining.
OK...is it me, or is that a little insulting? Like...it's intimidating to the guys that you're normal and in a healthy place?
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