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Old Yesterday, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Wilmington, NC
1,965 posts, read 359,698 times
Reputation: 3306

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PA2UK View Post
It doesn't really sound like they have "issues" - particularly the guy who believes in angels, it sounds to me like you just can't handle a therapist who has different opinions and beliefs than you do on certain topics. You're never going to find someone who shares exactly all the same beliefs as you.

The more recent woman sounds like maybe she might have been a little bit controlling, but she probably felt those goals were the best things for your self improvement and for all we know, maybe she's right.
Therapists should not assume that they know which goals are best for their client's self improvement. Therapists are experts in helping people learn to better understand and negotiate life's ups and downs. They don't dole out prescriptions for happiness ("do this and everything will be okay") because first of all, that would be incredibly disrespectful of the client's ability to think for themselves and to plot their own course; second, they don't walk in the client's shoes; and third, no therapist can fully predict what is best for anyone else. They don't have crystal balls.
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Old Yesterday, 02:44 PM
Status: ""making all of his nowhere plans for nobody..."" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Columbia, SC
7,544 posts, read 4,530,638 times
Reputation: 9022
I've seen several therapists in my life in the past and will probably see one here again pretty soon. Some of them have issues, no doubt. It seems silly to me to think that someone with no issues at all would go into the field of helping the mentally ill. Meaning I think I'd rather they understand where I cam coming from because they had been there too instead of because they read it in a textbook.
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Old Yesterday, 02:58 PM
 
1,245 posts, read 1,243,170 times
Reputation: 552
Some therapists work better for certain people than others. It's not easy to find a good one for yourself.
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Old Yesterday, 04:20 PM
 
7,000 posts, read 1,490,929 times
Reputation: 17336
Yes. In fact, more than one therapist said that one of my daughter's previous therapists was clueless about our issues and had completely misjudged me. (Btw, I knew that, but it was nice to have that validation.)

I was (still am) having problems with my daughter (adopted at age six), and he was of the opinion that her problems and issues were entirely caused by me and/or were a figment of my imagination. She was removed from the custody of her bio mom due to extreme neglect and subsequently received diagnoses of O.D.D., possible RAD, and Conduct Disorder; and she is STILL having problems at the age of 28.
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Old Yesterday, 04:34 PM
 
5,470 posts, read 1,363,178 times
Reputation: 4237
My husband and I went to a marriage counselor once for a few months and she used to tell us about problems in HER marriage frequently.
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Old Yesterday, 06:04 PM
 
Location: planet earth
5,159 posts, read 1,956,280 times
Reputation: 11326
Some therapists specialize in particular modalities of therapy (like CBT, or Depth Psychology, or Addictions, Body-Centered, Narrative, etc., etc. ad naseum). You can kind of gauge what those therapists "beliefs" might be and align yourself with those you can buy into.

For just a general therapist, it would probably make sense to sort this stuff out in a preliminary get-to-know-you-to-see-if-you're-a-fit phone conversation - and disclose anything that is important to you that you need to align on (like beliefs in more transpersonal perspectives - like angels).

I had a therapist who thought she was psychic and was always telling me her psychic impressions. She would also do alternative treatments (like sound healing and Reiki). Some of these I resonated with, and some not. I do think it is presumptive to tell someone messages you're getting from "spirit") . . .
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Old Yesterday, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Riding a rock floating through space
2,048 posts, read 597,089 times
Reputation: 5145
Quote:
Originally Posted by PA2UK View Post
It doesn't really sound like they have "issues" - particularly the guy who believes in angels, it sounds to me like you just can't handle a therapist who has different opinions and beliefs than you do on certain topics. You're never going to find someone who shares exactly all the same beliefs as you.

The more recent woman sounds like maybe she might have been a little bit controlling, but she probably felt those goals were the best things for your self improvement and for all we know, maybe she's right.
This is absurd. A therapist shouldn't talk about religion, that's not what their profession is supposed to be about. If someone is looking for that they can go to church for a lot less.
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Old Yesterday, 11:03 PM
 
393 posts, read 99,310 times
Reputation: 796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill_Schramm View Post
Has anyone here ever been in therapy only to eventually realize their therapist had more issues than they do. This has been the case with my last two therapists. I left the last one 10 years ago and have been doing just dandy on my own since. I realized this one had problems when it became clear she actually had a pretty specific image in her mind about what I should be doing with my life (getting an adjunct position at X university; consciously trying to get more friends in specific ways, etc.) When I said I wasnít interested in her plan (when it was revealed after 2 months of therapy), she suddenly didnít have room on her schedule for me anymore. Oh well, no great loss.

The therapist before that was really empathetic, but he told me one day about his belief in angels and other such things, and I felt like I had had enough at that point.

Anyone else have an interesting story along these lines?

Doesn't sound like that therapist had a problem to me because she recommended a treatment plan that you didn't want to follow, and then determined she couldn't help you anymore. She should have told you that however straight up, and not use schedule as an excuse. If a client isn't going to accept recommendations, why would a therapist continue to work with them?



I had a therapist drop me even before the first visit! I had requested change of schedule time I think three times and she sent me a "I don't feel I can work with you as you need..."
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Old Yesterday, 11:23 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
7,041 posts, read 3,922,736 times
Reputation: 16867
How do you know that part of your problem is being delusional and you just think she/he has more issues than you do? ( cue Twilight Zone theme song)
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Old Today, 03:40 AM
 
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
9,787 posts, read 18,990,542 times
Reputation: 8695
I've not gone to therapy so I have no opinions on therapists at work, but the ones I've known socially have always had what seemed to me to be a huge amount of issues. Which may be why they went into that field of work in the first place. If you were looking for someone to go hunting answers with you, then they might be useful since it would seem they'd be interested in the answers as well. However, if you were looking for someone who already had the answers, then perhaps they'd not be so useful.
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