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Almost every time we are in public near other people in line or in a restaurant etc....my husband will start taking about his guns and bow and say something like “I really want to go to the range today, I haven’t shot my AR 15 in a while”. “I need to sign up for league, last time they told me I was the most skilled shooter in the class”. “ I have to restring my bow restrung so I can go hunting”. (He’s never hunted that I know of). Or he will brag about his job “I had to fire someone today”. “A new vendor wants me to come work for them”. It just makes no sense to me. Why does he do this in front of people that don’t care?
My husband does the same thing. At those times, I wish I were far away from him.
Did your husband work a long time in a place where “face time” got more notice than actual work done? Mine did.
Unfortunately, he carries this over in retirement when meeting new people. Sometimes when they have asked me something and I start to answer thoughtfully, he butts in with a loud, soundbitey comment that diverts the attention to him OR derails the question to be about something else he wants to talk about. Last time this happened, I was in mid-sentence when he barked, “Tell him about the kind of dogs we had.” Totally changed the other person’s question to a different one. If I had said, “You just rudely interrupted me” it would have made me look like an azzhole instead of him. But I am tired of this happening literally every time someone is talking to me. He just can’t stand to not be the center of their attention. Maybe your husband needs a gold star on his forehead, too.
I feel like I have no chance of actually getting to know people, and vice versa, with him commandeering the conversations. It would be good to make contacts without him and KEEP him out of those, so he can’t say, “We should get together with Woman AND HUSBAND to...” I totally get why many women want to separate their gals-only friends from their “couple” friends. And why women-only colleges could be a better environment for less socially-aggressive students.
Hey, it’s not too late. You could straight out ask him, “What does that have to do with what we’re here for?” Some people are clueless about their posturing,
How is this different than your thread (about him) asking if lying is a mental illness? It seems we're about to cover the same territory and dance around the same bush.
The man lies. The man embellishes. Whether he does it to prop up his image of himself or he absolutely cannot help it, the result is the same. You're perplexed and unhappy.
Even if you find The One Real Answer To Your Question, what changes? Nothing.
Reading this direct quote – “I haven’t shot my AR 15 in a while” – or how he's "the best shooter" – given the current state of mass shootings in our country, I sure as hell wouldn't want to be standing on line in public with him anywhere. Why would you?
Isn't that sort of the point of bragging? So others can hear it? Bragging to yourself doesn't provide much pleasure because you know the truth.
Hope springs eternal. There's always a slim chance one of those strangers will be impressed. He already knows YOU aren't. When you first met him did this sort of stuff impress you? Guess what.....
Last edited by Parnassia; 09-09-2019 at 12:32 PM..
I don't know but I can't stand people who brag about how great they are in public. I guess you can't either, and it sounds like your marriage is less than great because of this.
I know a guy who likes to brag how rich he is to people he knows are much poorer than him. I hate that guy and don't want to be associated with him.
Almost every time we are in public near other people in line or in a restaurant etc....my husband will start taking about his guns and bow and say something like “I really want to go to the range today, I haven’t shot my AR 15 in a while”. “I need to sign up for league, last time they told me I was the most skilled shooter in the class”. “ I have to restring my bow restrung so I can go hunting”. (He’s never hunted that I know of). Or he will brag about his job “I had to fire someone today”. “A new vendor wants me to come work for them”. It just makes no sense to me. Why does he do this in front of people that don’t care?
Have you ever tried asking him follow up questions or suggestions?
"When was the last time you shot your AR 15?" "Is that an assault gun?" "Hey, let's go together to the range." "Let's sign up for that league today." etc.
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