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Just had my psych appointment a few minutes ago. She stresses that I should consider moving near family in the near future because as I get older I will need help and she says they are the only ones that can help me. I'm 38.
Several of my family members live in Mobile Alabama where I grew up. I don't really like mobile plus there are not a lot of jobs there so I don't want to go back. I also have a brother that lives in Memphis . I just don't want to live near him because even now he is always trying to control my life and tell me how to live and I would like to be able to be myself and make my own decisions.
There are several cities I'm considering moving to in the future including Charlotte, Dallas, Columbus Ohio, and Denver but I don't have any family in or near these cities.
Should I just move somewhere I don't like just to be near family ? Will I regret living away from family as I get older ?
I assume this is physical help you'll need due to some illness/disease/physical ailment?
Do you know for sure that any of your fam members will actually help you if you move closer? Did they verbally (or in wiritng say they will)?
I wonder about this myself for when I simply get elderly. I don't have any kids who I can just live w/ who'll take care of me.
I say live as happily as you can until I guess you do need to change how you live to get help.
Yeah I assume that's what she was talking about.
None of my family members said anything about helping me when I get older .
I don't have any kids either so I worry about how I will be taken care of when I am older but hopefully I have a long time to go before I have to worry about that.
My single cousin is about 13 yrs older than me & she's divorced & never had kids, so it will be interesting to see how she will be taken care of later on in life. She's not rich to have caretakers. However, she's extremely healthy & active, so she'll probably be the type who's 80 or even 90 & still going strong. She does have 2 siblings w/ families, so who knows, maybe she'll move in w/ one of them if all else fails, but her siblings are all about the same age as her.
You might need a new doctor. You're only 38 and far from being in the older category. The doctor, in my opinion, should be focusing more on why you're worrying a lot about that at that way into the future point of your life. In reality, many families only help in a very limited capacity, if they can or want to at all. Sounds like you have a lot of anxiety, which is common esp. nowadays, w/ economy, pandemic & other issues going on.
Just had my psych appointment a few minutes ago. She stresses that I should consider moving near family in the near future because as I get older I will need help and she says they are the only ones that can help me. I'm 38.
Several of my family members live in Mobile Alabama where I grew up. I don't really like mobile plus there are not a lot of jobs there so I don't want to go back. I also have a brother that lives in Memphis . I just don't want to live near him because even now he is always trying to control my life and tell me how to live and I would like to be able to be myself and make my own decisions.
There are several cities I'm considering moving to in the future including Charlotte, Dallas, Columbus Ohio, and Denver but I don't have any family in or near these cities.
Should I just move somewhere I don't like just to be near family ? Will I regret living away from family as I get older ?
Absolutely not!! There are lots of reasons not to do this.
I won't list the reasons right now, but that is poor advice from your psychologist or counselor. (what are your counselor's credentials, by the way? - it matters)
Many people do not have family/relatives to live by - relatives are either deceased or not emotionally close or not in contact - and these people do fine.
I don't have any kids either so I worry about how I will be taken care of when I am older but hopefully I have a long time to go before I have to worry about that.
Having kids doesn't guarantee that you'll have someone to take care of you when you're older, either. Maybe you don't have to move near family, but it never hurts to look into preparing a will and making arrangements for what would happen if you got sick or injured or died, even. Those things aren't just for the elderly to think about.
None of my family members said anything about helping me when I get older .
I don't have any kids either so I worry about how I will be taken care of when I am older but hopefully I have a long time to go before I have to worry about that.
Do you care to share why you're seeing the psychiatrist and how/why this came up?
Just had my psych appointment a few minutes ago. She stresses that I should consider moving near family in the near future because as I get older I will need help and she says they are the only ones that can help me. I'm 38.
Several of my family members live in Mobile Alabama where I grew up. I don't really like mobile plus there are not a lot of jobs there so I don't want to go back. I also have a brother that lives in Memphis. I just don't want to live near him because even now he is always trying to control my life and tell me how to live and I would like to be able to be myself and make my own decisions.
There are several cities I'm considering moving to in the future including Charlotte, Dallas, Columbus Ohio, and Denver but I don't have any family in or near these cities.
Should I just move somewhere I don't like just to be near family? Will I regret living away from family as I get older?
One word in answer to your first question: NO. Answer to your second question: Likely NOT.
I am older (your parents' age) and have no one in my new area. I think relying on friends and church members, etc. is a much better option. You've already stated that you want to be independent and not listen -- or God forbid, be beholden -- to controlling family members.
Your psychiatrist/counselor, whatever she is, is strange. She made a blanket statement when as a mental health professional she should know that family relationships are often very strained and problematic.
I have a daughter your age. You are YOUNG. Don't be worrying about your old age at this point. Things happen along the way that you cannot fathom at this point. Until then, live your life. I couldn't imagine moving to northern Alabama from the west coast but that is indeed what happened, without warning. Life is like that. Your ability to roll with the punches and the tide (no Alabama pun intended ) will be a huge factor in your happiness.
My family has adamantly refused to take care of me, even though I have health issues! They have their own lives. And I don't really need them. My elderly parents needed me and I did my duty, but I do not expect that from my kids. It's a different world now. Times are tougher than ever and the last thing adult children need is to take care of their aging parents, unless there is NO other option.
If you become disabled for any reason before your old age, there are many agencies government and otherwise that help disabled and senior citizens. In my opinion, you should check those first before relying on your family members.
I don't have any kids either so I worry about how I will be taken care of when I am older but hopefully I have a long time to go before I have to worry about that.
While I agree you don't need to worry about this at your age that doesn't mean you don't need to think about the future and what could happen to derail the best laid plans. Everyone should do this to some degree. Keep yourself educated about what options there might be in terms of health care, insurance, keep yourself healthy, get in the habit of saving for that rainy day. There's planning and there's worrying. Two different things.
Now if your psychiatrist made that comment because you have an ongoing cognitive or physical problem that could leave you dependent on someone else in the future that's a very different situation. To make the comment out of context seems oddly paranoid.
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) will be a huge factor in your happiness.
