Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I really don't think there's any intended mockery the vast majority of the time when people say stuff like this. It's usually commiseration, especially in, say, the context of a boring meeting, or while clocking in early in the morning. It can also be a way of checking in whether you're okay in a situation where actually asking "are you all right" would be socially awkward - gives you a chance of either sharing what's bothering you, lightly brushing off the concern, or making a joke out of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
OP, you could acknowledge that you're having a bad day, and add, "I wish you wouldn't call attention to it, though. It's kind of rude, and you're making me uncomfortable." Anyone with any decency would be speechless, or might manage to stammer out an apology.
That response is pretty aggressive. I've never found responding to rudeness with escalating rudeness to be a great approach for dealing with coworkers or the like, as if someone means harm, they've surely got more ammo, and if they didn't mean harm, you offended them for no reason. "I'm having a rough day but I'd prefer not to talk about it" is the same message without making an interpersonal drama out of it.
There are very different perspectives for that simple comment. Some say it is joking around. Others say it should be more considerate. Some say that the responses on this thread are aggressive. Others have given non-escalating ways of dealing with it.
I've never had to deal with a comment like that because once I make a choice to be somewhere with other people, I make sure to smile and increase my interest. I've heard others receive that comment and they just ignore it. But my co-workers have been pretty good about maintaining boundaries and I think they don't read too much into being ignored. Sometimes they try to be more helpful and drop the joking around. Other co-workers have explicitly told others when they thought something they said was rude. Everyone then tries to be more considerate.
My boss has made it clear that we are to respect each other's feelings and to be careful about what we say. We also have to take responsibility for the things we say.
To be blunt, based on the OP's numerous other posts, he's checked out of his environment and people are noticing. The comments, while perhaps unpleasant, are a suggestion to the OP to correct his behaviour.
I'm no doctor but the OP seems depressed and that should be handled through therapy and possibly medication. It could be life changing for him. Working, sleeping and scrolling through social media to make himself feel worse is not a strategy for success and happiness.
Every one of us is, or could be, struggling with something, but as adults, there are times when you need to put on your brave face and participate appropriately in your surroundings with other people, instead of moping in a corner.
I agree that it's rude. So many people lack tact these days and stay stupid s*** without thinking. If the person was truly concerned that you didn't look happy, he could have said something like, "It seems like something is bothering you. Is everything okay?"
I disagree with this. Leave people alone for God's sake unless you have some absolutely clear signals that something is really wrong, outside of the boredom and futility of attending yet another worthless meeting.
I spoke out at a round table meeting about something once, and yes I was a little hot under the collar about the issue, but I was on point and articulate about my concerns and someone went to someone in management and said they were concerned about me. Then my supervisor asked me if I was ok. WTH??? Then I WAS furious. Are you serious?
People expect everyone to be happy and compliant all the time. Not gonna happen. I never said another word at another round table after that.
You're extremely sensitive.
It's called joking around.
I'm very open, so I'd respond with however I'm feeling - 'I'm alright, just tired. Thanks.' or 'Yeah, this sucks.' or 'I'd rather be anywhere other than here.' or 'I'm good, how you doin'? ' or 'This is usually my nap time.' or 'Tired, got ripped last night. Got an Alka-Seltzer?' or 'I'm hungry. Where are the vending machines?'
But that's just me.
Use it as an opening for conversation.
I don’t find the comment particularly rude, a bit sarky and depending on the person ,the context ,and how it’s said could be a criticism or a way of asking what’s up. I like your responses I usually like to use humour with these type of situations but like I said in another post I’d probably just smile and say “ who swallowed a sarky pill this morning”
Sure, but the OP has mentioned in other threads that he has a hard time making friends. This particular example makes me wonder how many times someone might have tried to break the ice with him and he interpreted the interaction as hostile and insulting, rather than awkwardly friendly. That's a lot of misunderstanding people's intentions.
I think this may be the case. It's also true that an interaction isn't predestined. Even if someone had mixed intentions in making a comment, my reaction might steer the interaction toward a clearly friendly or perhaps a funny tone.
When I was younger people frequently tried to draw me out, and it was kind of my worst fear, being invited to step into the spotlight, or the edge of the spotlight anyway, to be seen. Being seen was my biggest fear and at the same time the thing I most wanted. Being the invisible man sucks. And I wonder if sometimes people saw that longing in me and their comments were in response to that. I think that's usually what was happening. I was then and am now happier thinking that.
I don’t find the comment particularly rude, a bit sarky and depending on the person ,the context ,and how it’s said could be a criticism or a way of asking what’s up. I like your responses I usually like to use humour with these type of situations but like I said in another post I’d probably just smile and say “ who swallowed a sarky pill this morning”
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,723,992 times
Reputation: 41376
Quote:
Originally Posted by sportslover
I hate dealing with people's sarcasm, sometimes.
I hate when you don't look or sound extremely excited and someone says, " Wow you look so excited to be here" or " Don't sound so enthusiastic". How should i respond when someone says these things to me , knowing they are being sarcastic? Comments like these always bother me because I feel like i am being made fun of. I guess people don't consider that someone may be depressed or going through something. People really suck.
I fully believe once you say something rude to me, returning rudeness with rudeness is perfect medicine. I’d reply with, “I’ll take looking less than enthusiastic with whatever the you look like” or “you don’t sound so stupid.” It may not make friends, but if you don’t care, why not make a point?
I fully believe once you say something rude to me, returning rudeness with rudeness is perfect medicine. I’d reply with, “I’ll take looking less than enthusiastic with whatever the you look like” or “you don’t sound so stupid.” It may not make friends, but if you don’t care, why not make a point?
Lighten up, Francis.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I usually like to use humour with these type of situations but like I said in another post I’d probably just smile and say “ who swallowed a sarky pill this morning” 
you look like” or “you don’t sound so stupid.” It may not make friends, but if you don’t care, why not make a point?
