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Old 10-03-2022, 02:36 PM
 
Location: in my mind
5,318 posts, read 8,485,778 times
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According to the author, regrets are about something we either did or didn't do, while disappointments are things that others did or are out of our control. So we could feel disappointed that a marriage didn't work out, but regret that we didn't try harder to fix the problems, as an example.

Just this week, a little podcast that I like published a new episode, and lo and behold, it is an interview with the author of this book! The universe must be telling me something.

You can listen to it here: https://omny.fm/shows/a-slight-chang...ence-of-regret
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Old 10-03-2022, 05:28 PM
 
3,462 posts, read 3,158,058 times
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40 years ago I was too cheap to shell out $10 for a wedding band at K Mart as part of job interview wardrobe. Male, normal looking & acting, & over 30 early 1980's, I lost a few good job opportunities as a result during the AIDs epidemic. Pretty suddenly, men over 30 had to be sporting a wedding band regardless of their credentials. Although it has nothing to do with me, I guess teaching elementary school kids about anal sex is an ugly payback for those times. Good for ya!

Last edited by TwinbrookNine; 10-03-2022 at 05:37 PM..
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Old 10-03-2022, 06:15 PM
 
21,440 posts, read 12,558,787 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinbrookNine View Post
40 years ago I was too cheap to shell out $10 for a wedding band at K Mart as part of job interview wardrobe. Male, normal looking & acting, & over 30 early 1980's, I lost a few good job opportunities as a result during the AIDs epidemic. Pretty suddenly, men over 30 had to be sporting a wedding band regardless of their credentials.
Really? Not sure how that would've gone down; surely they'd have discovered, once you were working there and they were getting to know you, that you lied. They'd probably even broach the subject in the interview as a way as determining whether or not being married might impinge on your ability to work overtime, etc. Maybe don't regret that?
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Old 10-03-2022, 07:48 PM
 
3,462 posts, read 3,158,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Really? Not sure how that would've gone down; surely they'd have discovered, once you were working there and they were getting to know you, that you lied. They'd probably even broach the subject in the interview as a way as determining whether or not being married might impinge on your ability to work overtime, etc. Maybe don't regret that?



Oh it went down, alright. I got the "oh, you know this is a very family-oriented city....we don't think this is a place you'd like to live" BS.... right to my face. [city of 300,000 with more tiddy bars than I ever seen anywhere...]


Sexual orientation not even considered, poor reproductive suckers today are paying the price for that.
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Old 10-04-2022, 01:23 AM
 
Location: Honolulu, HI
24,156 posts, read 9,097,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastcoastguyz View Post
The concept of having "no regrets" is just that and right. There is no pop-psychology about it. It serves no purpose to live your life brooding about things that occured in the past that you can do nothing to change. All you can do is more forward, because there is no such thing as a time machine to go back and fix it. You learn from mistakes and on move. Living with no regrets is correct.
It's not mutually exclusive. A life altering mistake can affect you for the rest of your life: debt, criminal record, eviction, bad spouse, bad relationship, bankruptcy, drug abuse, sticking by a bad job, quitting a good job, DWI, something that causes life long injury or illness, getting sued and losing, a natural disaster, etc.

Every day you wake up, you have to accept that you life would've been far different (or better) if you had just made a better choice (or better choices) in the moment.

If you don't have any regrets, you would probably be a millionaire or billionaire. Because you would've invested in Bitcoin when you first heard about it, instead of laughing at everyone else who decided to do so.

Having regrets is an acknowledgment you're not perfect. Claiming you have no regrets means you better be a millionaire because you made every right decision you have ever been presented.
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Old 10-04-2022, 11:24 AM
 
261 posts, read 84,933 times
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Quote:
Do you have regrets that weigh on you?
Yes but they are mostly financial.
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Old 10-04-2022, 11:27 AM
 
261 posts, read 84,933 times
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Quote:
Twinbrooknine
40 years ago I was too cheap to shell out $10 for a wedding band at K Mart as part of job interview wardrobe. Male, normal looking & acting, & over 30 early 1980's, I lost a few good job opportunities as a result during the AIDs epidemic. Pretty suddenly, men over 30 had to be sporting a wedding band regardless of their credentials. Although it has nothing to do with me, I guess teaching elementary school kids about anal sex is an ugly payback for those times. Good for ya!
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Really? Not sure how that would've gone down; surely they'd have discovered, once you were working there and they were getting to know you, that you lied. They'd probably even broach the subject in the interview as a way as determining whether or not being married might impinge on your ability to work overtime, etc. Maybe don't regret that?
Odd I have never once broached the subject of marriage in an interview or looked at a finger for a ring.
People have brought up divorced as the reason for job change on more than one occasion.
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Old 10-04-2022, 03:49 PM
 
26,481 posts, read 36,312,571 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Really? Not sure how that would've gone down; surely they'd have discovered, once you were working there and they were getting to know you, that you lied. They'd probably even broach the subject in the interview as a way as determining whether or not being married might impinge on your ability to work overtime, etc. Maybe don't regret that?
Yeah, "broaching the subject in the interview" has been illegal since 1964 pursuant to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act.

Furthermore, the act of wearing a simple gold band on the left hand does not constitute a "lie."
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Old 10-04-2022, 04:07 PM
 
10,950 posts, read 6,675,313 times
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Like most people, I have a lot of regrets. That's life. There's one that comes to mind that I think was life-altering. I interviewed and was offered a job at a long-established rose grower in Oregon. I would have helped run the gift shop, learned how to deal with all the growing barns, the irrigation system, learned all about their particular roses that are their signature rose... in short, I would have learned the entire business. It would have been life-changing. So, I accepted the offer and was really excited, even though I had an old truck and it was 30 miles away.

As the same time, I was offered a job at a large grocery chain (think: the "S" word). My family was adamant that I take the grocery job because it paid more and was local. I reneged on the rose grower job. The grocery job turned out to be a disaster. I was sent to a store that didn't need me, the manager was rude and had no idea why I was sent there, he called HR and chewed them out, so I was out of a job, as there was nothing else available at that time. Lost out on both jobs.

So yeah, the whole course of my life changed at that point. All because I listened to family instead of my gut. Big regret. Oh well. That's the breaks. Listen to your heart, and listen to your gut, that's my advice!
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Old 10-04-2022, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
9,484 posts, read 16,372,680 times
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I regret that my instincts told me to not move to Florida in 2015 and I didn't listen. I listened but didn't feel I could manage a move last year. Now I know I cannot remain living in Florida. The expense of it and the stress from these Hurricanes, and other issues is a constant here. I've had enough.

So I regret having wasted all this money to retire to this state. There is not enough sunshine and Palm Trees to make me want to remain here.
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