Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
2,500,000 members. Thank you!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-05-2022, 12:17 PM
bu2
 
23,809 posts, read 14,568,883 times
Reputation: 12608

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
I equate regret with conscience; some simply don't have the capacity to feel bad about their own actions, whether past OR present. And, as the podcast points out, that's indicative of a much bigger problem.
Not being able to let go of the past and live in the present is an issue. Not being able to forgive yourself for being human is an issue.

I know I would have done things different with my kids' education. But we did our best and made the best decisions we could with the information we had at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-05-2022, 02:30 PM
Status: "I’m an art form" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: in the miseries
3,570 posts, read 4,476,058 times
Reputation: 4394
Of course I do

Doesn’t everybody
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2022, 02:35 PM
 
6,254 posts, read 4,117,882 times
Reputation: 24657
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmyhoss View Post
Of course I do

Doesn’t everybody
No. If something is weighing on me I address it and do something about it, or accept it as a valuable life lesson and move on. I’ve just had too much heartache in my life to allow the past I can’t change plague the quality of my life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2022, 02:37 PM
 
6,254 posts, read 4,117,882 times
Reputation: 24657
Quote:
Originally Posted by bu2 View Post
Not being able to let go of the past and live in the present is an issue. Not being able to forgive yourself for being human is an issue.

I know I would have done things different with my kids' education. But we did our best and made the best decisions we could with the information we had at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20.
There are several things I might have done differently but then the consequences of my choices would deprive me of the many wonderful things that did happen as a result of my choices.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2022, 04:23 PM
bu2
 
23,809 posts, read 14,568,883 times
Reputation: 12608
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spuggy View Post
There are several things I might have done differently but then the consequences of my choices would deprive me of the many wonderful things that did happen as a result of my choices.
I feel the same way about many of my mistakes when I was younger, particularly socially. I was very shy, risk averse and non-assertive. I married late. We waited a few years before trying to have children. Ended up adopting. My children are a couple of those wonderful things.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2022, 05:37 PM
 
21,243 posts, read 12,436,280 times
Reputation: 35928
As I said earlier, if you're perfectly happy with your life now, you're not apt to have many regrets.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2022, 06:43 PM
 
Location: In The South
6,510 posts, read 4,669,237 times
Reputation: 14615
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
As I said earlier, if you're perfectly happy with your life now, you're not apt to have many regrets.
I don’t totally agree with this. I’m pretty darn happy with my life right now. But I have quite a few regrets about decisions I made earlier in my life. I try not to dwell on them though. Maybe that’s the difference. You (the collective/editorial you) have to make your own comfort and happiness within your life, let some things go that can’t be changed now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2022, 08:10 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
87,820 posts, read 83,540,550 times
Reputation: 113861
Yes, I regret the beer. I regret the cookies. I regret the fried fish. I regret the chocolate. All of these things are weighing on me.
__________________
Moderator posts are in RED.
City-Data Terms of Service: http://www.city-data.com/terms.html
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-05-2022, 10:27 PM
 
21,243 posts, read 12,436,280 times
Reputation: 35928
Quote:
Originally Posted by puginabug View Post
I don’t totally agree with this. I’m pretty darn happy with my life right now. But I have quite a few regrets about decisions I made earlier in my life.
Well, logically, everything that's happened in your life -- good or bad -- has led you to your current position. Therefore, without the bad things happening, you'd not have a happy life today. So the bad things must ultimately have been good things. Only if your life is unhappy now can you conclude past events were bad.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2022, 07:06 AM
 
Location: In The South
6,510 posts, read 4,669,237 times
Reputation: 14615
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
Well, logically, everything that's happened in your life -- good or bad -- has led you to your current position. Therefore, without the bad things happening, you'd not have a happy life today. So the bad things must ultimately have been good things. Only if your life is unhappy now can you conclude past events were bad.
Not necessarily. The choices I have previously made are parts of situations that are no longer existing, for one reason or another. Most have no connection to my current situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top