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It isn't minor if you regularly get bombarded with this sort of thing when you interact with the same person. This has a belittling effect. It's not just discounting your feelings or perceptions, it's belittling you as a person.
I could think of some comebacks, to turn these little jabs back on her and put her on the defensive, but ultimately, it probably wouldn't make any difference. This is deeply ingrained behavior, and probably comes from a need to feel superior. You could try laughing off some of these comments: "HAhaha! You didn't actually think I'd use this device without reading the instructions first, did you? Remember, I'm in my (X-th) decade, I'm not a little kid anymore. Or have you forgotten? You know what they say about memory problems--not a good sign at all!"
It isn't minor if you regularly get bombarded with this sort of thing when you interact with the same person. This has a belittling effect. It's not just discounting your feelings or perceptions, it's belittling you as a person.
I could think of some comebacks, to turn these little jabs back on her and put her on the defensive, but ultimately, it probably wouldn't make any difference. This is deeply ingrained behavior, and probably comes from a need to feel superior. You could try laughing off some of these comments: "HAhaha! You didn't actually think I'd use this device without reading the instructions first, did you? Remember, I'm in my (X-th) decade, I'm not a little kid anymore. Or have you forgotten? You know what they say about memory problems--not a good sign at all!"
Yes...it is so ingrained with her...it's just amazing. I think at times I have responded as you suggested, but she will just become haughty, doesn't laugh it off, saying "I guess so", "That's true" or "You're right". No matter what, it doesn't put her in her place, never thinking about her own actions. Her daughter has had her own experiences, but has not been discussing with me lately....I think she doesn't want to go down that road, though has said her mom was abusive while she was growing up.
I also sense my sister will put me down behind my back to others, something not confirmed, but I sense it, to a distant cousin or those who don't know me, she could say anything to. I believe she communicates differently with those she knows marginally, consciously portraying herself differently..reserving the negative behavior for me and likely, her daughter. I think if another could secretly witness it, they would be appalled and be defending me. I have thought, "if Mom and Dad could see this, what would they think?"
My friend whose brother mistreats him said that he has tried not talking to his brother while in his presence. When his brother asks him why he's not speaking, he has said "I have nothing to say". I guess that is the answer...not interacting..which is hard for me. (I hope to locate appropriate counseling.. they will probably tell me to stay away from her...yet my immediate family is she and her daughter). This is not what I wanted to experience in my later years.
I have a friend who is 82. She was just telling me how her 90-year-old sister called her at about 10 pm last week (the sister is on the west coast, the friend on the east), and when my friend mentioned she was watching TV and having a glass of wine, her sister scolded her for "drinking wine at that hour". She says the sister has never stopped seeing her as a little kid.
I see she isn't the only one. My oldest sister used to do the same but finally figured out when I was in my 30s that I could manage life without her advice.
I have a friend whose husband has cancer and if he says anything negative at all about it, she tells him, "Be happy". That's the kind of thing that ruins relationships. Why not empathize?
I have a friend who is 82. She was just telling me how her 90-year-old sister called her at about 10 pm last week (the sister is on the west coast, the friend on the east), and when my friend mentioned she was watching TV and having a glass of wine, her sister scolded her for "drinking wine at that hour". She says the sister has never stopped seeing her as a little kid.
I see she isn't the only one. My oldest sister used to do the same but finally figured out when I was in my 30s that I could manage life without her advice.
Yep..this is the kind of thing that occurs. The elder could rather have said "Well, enjoy yourself, then".
I have a friend whose husband has cancer and if he says anything negative at all about it, she tells him, "Be happy". That's the kind of thing that ruins relationships. Why not empathize?
This is too bad. One should be able to express how they are feeling, without another denying their experience, no matter what that is. It's as if the other person cannot tolerate hearing anything that appears "negative", as if it makes THEM feel better to not need to empathize. I think they believe that persisting that "sunshine and rainbows are what exists", it will magically make things better.
Not that one may be meaning to wallow, but there can be a need to express oneself, wanting to be comforted, supported and validated. If one was in danger as another was rescuing them, they would be told, "it's okay, c'mon..I've got you..you're getting there"...not "be happy."
I dislike being told how someone is "so positive", implying that I "should be, too". While depressed for instance, another likes to point out those being "much worse off" (as if I don't know that) , but this does not help alter one's own experience. I have looked this up and saw stated how it is wrong for one to tell another to just alter how they are feeling.
I thought of another instance that bugs me...not serious, but you know how one may reflect back upon something and think or say "Oh, I should have done..." (some option, something forgotten)". If I have said that aloud, I will be asked, sort of accusingly, "Well, why didn't you??"
Now, this is stupid...one is just realizing how they might have done something differently, reflecting upon it themselves as to why they had not, when another wants to pinpoint why they did not do so?? Best to not voice this thought aloud.. (honestly, I have only ever experienced one person doing this....again, projecting as if you had "failed"...
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I think they believe that persisting that "sunshine and rainbows are what exists", it will magically make things better. 
, but this does not help alter one's own experience. I have looked this up and saw stated how it is wrong for one to tell another to just alter how they are feeling.
