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...lots of people can't tell the difference on here and it can get you suspended - it's a very fine line.
...and at the end of the day, these are words on the screen. If there are doubts about tone, one should ask questions before assuming negative intent. This is, of course, taking into account the offended actually cares about resolving whatever issues they perceive, instead of just looking to get their way.
What's most hilarious is we don't actually know WHO is behind the screen. At least we shouldn't, unless a member has willingly shared those details with you. So what exactly are people reacting to, when they get so angry over words to the point they feel the need to report vs. use their own will to ignore. Lack of self control, perhaps.
One of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop being rude and to stop arguing online.
From now on, I am not going to be rude or argue online. And if someone is rude to me or wants to argue, I am not going to engage.
This is in the psychology forum because I read in the Wall Street Journal that you can change your personality, even late in life, and taking a small step at a time helps do that.
So, everyone, if you see me being rude or arguing, you can hold me accountable.
Bravo! A noble goal. I also try to control my natural temptation to respond bluntly and rudely. It is strange that people are so much more restrained in person than electronically.
That said, people are way less restrained in person than they once were. Social norms have changed, and the old controls on our behavior -- fear of opprobrium, frowns from authority figures, our parents, our religious leaders -- have disappeared or lost much of their influence.
I find the best thing is to (1) stick to the facts as I see them, and avoid making "you" statements, as in "You are wrong!" type of direct challenges, but instead "In my opinion..."
and (2) when I get mad at someone's outrageous insults or whatever, it's time to fast-forward to the next thing. "Mute user" is also a useful tool.
That said, people are way less restrained in person than they once were.
I agree. I've noticed an increase with a certain group trying to physically intimidate me when in public (invariably where I stand out as someone who--in their minds--shouldn't be there). I generally ignore them, but if the behavior continues I return the favor. It's funny watching them shrink when they realize they can't intimidate me (particularly disturbing when this bullying comes from men).
One of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop being rude and to stop arguing online.
From now on, I am not going to be rude or argue online. And if someone is rude to me or wants to argue, I am not going to engage.
This is in the psychology forum because I read in the Wall Street Journal that you can change your personality, even late in life, and taking a small step at a time helps do that.
So, everyone, if you see me being rude or arguing, you can hold me accountable.
You've been rude? I guess I've missed that. I'm not easily offended.
...lots of people can't tell the difference on here and it can get you suspended - it's a very fine line.
They can't tell the difference because it's all subjective. Something "snarky" that gets you suspended in the Relationship section could go ignored in the Politics/controversies section. In one section it's a violation, in another section its just a mod cut. In one section the entire post is deleted, in another section it's just fine.
Snarky, witty, sarcasm, rude, dark humor, tounge in cheek, it's all subjective.
If that's your goal then stay out of the P&OC forum here.
Oh come on, that's half the fun
One person's definition of rude is an others definition of that's just the way I communicate. Some one might be rude without even knowing they are being rude. Yes there are rectums that know they're being rectums.
For me? I just let it roll off and forget about it. Comments from random people are not important to me.
That's not to say we shouldn't try and be nicer to one another so kudos for that OP.
I admire those folks who always seem to have an even keel. I am not one of those people. I even DM'd a member once, to tell her how I admired how she ALWAYS seemed to choose to respond evenly...even if people did not treat her the same way.
I also admire those folks who have a wicked sense of humor. I have laughed MANY times at some of the smart aleck shenanigans going on around here. LOL
Sometimes, it's best to walk away and regroup. Taking a break is good.
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