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Old 11-27-2023, 11:57 AM
Location: Arizona
8,191 posts, read 8,497,666 times
Reputation: 27388


Originally Posted by TeaByrd View Post
If I host a dinner party, I am not serving meat or other animal products. That is not selfish. That is me being vegan. I cannot fathom any of my friends being so utterly self-absorbed, petty, and childish as to expect me to prepare anything other than that for them. If anything, they'd be into it. They're always looking for new plant-based dishes to add to their repertoire, and they love all kinds of nifty spices.

BTW, I think you mean "omnivore." Carnivores eat only meat. Think of tigers. I would hope any human who eats meat also eats something other than that. Otherwise they're going to have one heck of a plumbing bill.

Exactly. I could not imagine expecting or demanding that any kind of food be available at any kind of party. It's not a restaurant. You don't get to place an order. You accept the hospitality given and you go home grateful for being invited, having spent time with your friends, and not having had to cook or clean for an evening. And if they aren't going to have anything there you can eat, you either bring a side you can eat or you don't go.

I usually opt out of going if I know that the only thing I'm going to be able to eat is a green salad and dinner rolls. I'm not going to spend three hours in the kitchen cooking for a party I'm invited to unless it's specifically a pot-luck or there's a "what to bring" list in an evite. That happened to me last winter. A friend's girlfriend invited me to a dinner party and I guess she forgot I was vegan. I think my friend reminded her a few days before because she sent me a message that she was making pot roast, and pretty much all the vegetables would be in the same pot. Initially I thought to try to figure out what kind of side I could bring, but I ended up backing out for a few reasons, not all of them having to do with the menu, but I'll spare you the details.

And THAT said, I take a pulse of guests before I decide the menu when I host. I won't serve animal products, but I don't want anyone with a food allergy dropping dead at my table, either. I will ask a general "any dietary restrictions I should know about?" and go from there. If someone I invite into my home and cook for just cannot live without eating a dead animal or animal products for one flippin' meal in a year full of meals, they are more than welcome to not join us. TBH, I probably wouldn't be good friends with someone like that in the first place. Too...militant.
You aren't addressing the part where a non vegan makes something special for the vegan! Something the vegan refuses to do!
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Old 11-28-2023, 09:26 AM
Location: In your head
1,014 posts, read 506,964 times
Reputation: 1479
Everyone is selfish to an extent. I consider myself as someone who tends to put others' happiness before mine, but I have no problem admitting that I am also a bit selfish (more often than I'd like to think, too).

When it occurs, it's when you place your wants/needs over others and sometimes at the expense of others (but not necessarily).

I think it's okay to be selfish; it's probably even healthy to an extent, both mentally and physically. But when your selfishness knows no bound, and when it constantly demands others to bend to your will, that's not healthy. It can place massive strain on your relationships. If you're overly selfish, you may eventually find yourself having no one else beside yourself. I think that is the terminal outcome of being too selfish.

Last edited by digitalUID; 11-28-2023 at 09:39 AM..
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