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Old 10-24-2023, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,025 posts, read 83,846,650 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
I'm sitting here grinning like puppy at that image because I've lived it. Been a Boy Scout leader for years. Honestly, I'd much rather deal with a bunch of boys that age than the adults in a source selection. A group of teen boys in the woods with knives and matches are easier to keep focused on a goal than many senior managers in a room.
Hahaha, glad somebody here knows what I am talking about.
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Old 10-24-2023, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Cumberland
6,918 posts, read 11,168,006 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
Ok, this question isn't about people who hold strong opinions and can't be swayed by fact. Rather this is about very simple situations where simple learning an understanding should be obvious but some people just keep doing the same thing. Kind of like pounding on a wall rather than walking through the door.

Prime example that brought this up: An item won't fit in the space available. Becomes pretty obvious really quick that it's too big (long, wide, tall, whatever) to fit. Yet someone keep shoving, pushing, twisting, trying to make it fit. Even telling them to stop for a minute and think about it just get's more shoving.

Why does it bother me? Because I'm one of the people who has to clean up the mess and fix things after these folks create a mess or wind up breaking something along the way.
I know two kinds of people who fit this mold

1. Refuse to be taught. Obstinate people who insist on figuring stuff out for themselves, and don't have the ability to let somebody else drive the conversation, be the teacher. I know many smart people who fit this category, but are limited in their ceiling by their refusal to let another human impart knowledge to them.

2. Scared of new information. Neophobic people who "know what they know" and get upset and angry when challenged on something they think to be true, want to be true, insist must be true. I know smart people who fit this category as well, but honestly this type of person drives me nuts. I get "refusing to be taught by other people," it's a personality trait I can deal with. Being scared that of new information because it may cause you to have to reevaluate what you think you know, or believe, is a turn-off.
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Old 10-24-2023, 04:59 PM
 
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Some adults have undiagnosed (or maybe diagnosed) ADD or ADHD. When one offers to teach such people something new, they tend to make excuses like "I'm too busy" or "I don't have time for this".

Once when I was a kid, I tried to teach my mother something and her reaction was to get furious at me then order me to do it. When telling my father about that experience, he said "There are some things your mother can't grasp but she won't admit it."

Some examples --- When us kids were learning to ride bikes without training wheels, she watched and said she never learned how to ride a bike. We offered to help her learn but, she just made excuses. I wanted to get a sewing machine as I wanted to sew some of my own clothes. My father said he would get me one but it was for both my mother and me. My mother refused to use it even when I offered to teach her. One day, she wanted me to sew together some curtain panels. I set up the machine, sat her down and showed her what to do. She did the sewing while bitterly complaining about it.

We lived off the Mainland for a few years. My mother knew a little Spanish. While at work, my father talked to a co-worker who said he and a couple others were hiring a private tutor to teach them. The students each took turns having the sessions in each other's home. My father told my mother she could join the group. She reluctantly agreed but she only lasted 3 sessions. She quit because, according to her, the instructor was an "idiot".

In later years, my father got a computer. He offered to teach her but as he said, she avoided even going near it. Interestingly enough, neither of her siblings wanted to learn either. Yet my father and his sister embraced learning to use it.

So...some people refuse to learn due to learning disabilities. Some, I imagine, are ashamed to admit it. Looking back, I wish my mother would have admitted it to us kids. One of my brothers has ADHD and dyslexia. I had issues with "left" and "right" as a kid and on my own, figured out how to deal with it. Meanwhile, my mother would scream at me for having this problem. Later, when I was an adult, she admitted to having the same problem. I asked her why she would yell at me about it. She said (and I didn't buy it) that she thought it would have helped me learn by her yelling at me.
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Old 10-24-2023, 05:50 PM
Status: "A solution in search of a problem" (set 12 days ago)
 
Location: New York Area
34,443 posts, read 16,536,029 times
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When I was a young child I was told I would learn to read in First Grade. I accordingly refused to learn reading in Kindergarten. My First Grade reports said my learning uptake was unbelievably fast.
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Old 10-25-2023, 12:28 AM
 
18,042 posts, read 25,069,612 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
Once when I was a kid, I tried to teach my mother something and her reaction was to get furious at me then order me to do it. When telling my father about that experience, he said "There are some things your mother can't grasp but she won't admit it."
.
I just had that issue when I brought my mom to live with me for a few months

In few words, it’s obvious that she’s not very smart but she always goes around trying to prove that she’s smart
And obviously, the one thing that pisses her off is to insinuate that she doesn’t know something.
she would constantly say things and then finish with “right?”
She would say: “this is Main Street …. Right?”
I got tired and started saying “if you say so”
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Old 10-25-2023, 12:34 AM
 
22,283 posts, read 11,782,186 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dopo View Post
I just had that issue when I brought my mom to live with me for a few months

In few words, it’s obvious that she’s not very smart but she always goes around trying to prove that she’s smart
And obviously, the one thing that pisses her off is to insinuate that she doesn’t know something.
she would constantly say things and then finish with “right?”
She would say: “this is Main Street …. Right?”
I got tired and started saying “if you say so”
Per the bolded --- That sounds like my mother. She hated to admit that there were things she didn't know.
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Old 10-25-2023, 06:40 AM
Status: "A solution in search of a problem" (set 12 days ago)
 
Location: New York Area
34,443 posts, read 16,536,029 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
Per the bolded --- That sounds like my mother. She hated to admit that there were things she didn't know.
My experience has been exactly the opposite but with similar results. In January or February 1973 my mother and I went to NYC to see either Streetcar Named Desire or Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. She forgot the tickets (not on phones in those days) and was hysterical. She said Grandma had them. I told her to call Grandma and get the ticket numbers. She said she was playing cards at an apartment with an unlisted number. I said "call the operator, I'm sure they'll get through." My mother did that. The operator called the "unpublished number bureau," which called the apartment. I don't remember if they connected the call of my grandmother called back to the payphone (yes they had those then).

We were at the show shortly after. My mother said "Jimmy, how did you know that?" My answer "I just did." I believe she had to ask, later on, how to execute that maneuver.

My senior law colleague, all the time, asks me for a bankruptcy code section or a phone number. He just doesn't learn .
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Old 10-25-2023, 09:21 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
15,958 posts, read 20,916,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tnff View Post
Ok, this question isn't about people who hold strong opinions and can't be swayed by fact. Rather this is about very simple situations where simple learning an understanding should be obvious but some people just keep doing the same thing. Kind of like pounding on a wall rather than walking through the door.
I can think of two reasons.

The first has already been mentioned and that's if someone refuses to learn something they think they won't be made to do it and they can't be held responsible for doing it wrong. They hope that the powers that be will simply give up on them and make someone else do the task.

The second comes from talking to a couple of young workers who always insisted on doing things their own (incorrect) way and when sat down for a chat both of them told me separately that they absolutely hate being told how to do something because it makes them feel stupid and incompetent. They'd rather blunder around and mess things up than to ask for help and have to admit they didn't know how or couldn't figure out the way to do something.
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Old 10-25-2023, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Ruston, Louisiana
1,951 posts, read 971,231 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist View Post
Frustration? Why do people throw things in anger or put their fist through a wall?
Why do some people believe in BigFoot? Hundreds of years and no bones, no feces, no hides. Nothing to lay claim that a Bigfood exists. Yet people still send money to the Bigfoot hunters and go hunting for it themselves. Not one Bigfoot has ever been brought in. They supposedly live in family groups, even more reason to find some sort of remnant. Nothing. Ever.
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Old 10-25-2023, 11:44 PM
 
1,756 posts, read 783,759 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
So...some people refuse to learn due to learning disabilities. Some, I imagine, are ashamed to admit it.
I fall into this group and am occasionally treated poorly by others because of it. I try to avoid getting into the details with people because I don't want to come across as a victim or give the impression that I want special treatment (because I don't).

"Could you at least try?" someone barked at me impatiently a few years back, regarding a task related to a project we were working on together. I said "no" and stated flat out that I was unable to do this thing, and the response I got was angry and accusatory, like I was being lazy or disobedient. I know my own limitations, nothing much to be done about that. Numbers, math, many options, if/or decisions...my brain can't process things like this and it's frustrating to have to deal with people who get angry about it. Count your blessings.

Would you go up to someone who's visibly mentally retarded/Down's Syndrome and get angry because they were unable to learn something? I sure hope not. Remember that not all disabilities are obvious or easily discerned.
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