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Old 10-27-2023, 06:50 AM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,601 posts, read 20,042,882 times
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Have you tried wearing sunglasses?
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Old 10-27-2023, 07:59 AM
Status: ""Let my people think"" (set 23 days ago)
 
1,383 posts, read 744,146 times
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I've made eye contact with some people and felt there was no one looking back at me.
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Old 10-29-2023, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Kansas
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I am someone who makes eye contact. All of my many decades, I have been around people that made eye contact, older generation I guess. I do it as a natural thing, nothing that I am reminding myself og or feel the need to do.

It was odd when we lived north of Tucson, AZ, and on the news they said there was a shooter, and thus to not make eye contact with drivers while sitting at a stop.

This actually makes me wonder about some people I have seen in public lately. In the grocery store, I notice people that seem to be making an effort to make eye contact with me, which has been annoying me to some degree. I give them my "What are looking at look?" I don't look odd in any way, or special in any way.

I googled for articles, and there are tons of them suggesting the possible issues of those that don't make eye contact, and how one can "change". So, maybe these people go to the grocery store to "practice". I think it is something that comes naturally, or not.

My only real concern would be a person not wanting to make contact in a personal relationship, as that is a red flag that I am familiar with, and it is not a good thing! I am also familiar with the "fake" eye contact, where they are kind of looking sideways while trying to look like they are making eye contact.

I wouldn't worry much about it one way or the other. I was lucky to be a part of "anything goes" where people could be individuals without questioning, but now, everyone is supposed to all be the same, and it is an impossible goal.
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Old 10-29-2023, 10:05 AM
 
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These days, any eye contact I make is going to be brief. I've been trained on what the various eye movements can mean - introspection, fabrication, re-living, etc., as well as flutter, pupil size changes, drifting, and micro-expressions. Since then, I find anything more than brief eye contact to be incredibly distracting, especially since my dominant function is auditory and dissonance between visual and auditory input shifts me into a different mode.

People who are on drugs often have "tells" for those who know how to look for them. Having a conversation and knowing that the other person is flying, lying, or deflecting can break communication. Talking with someone who has also been properly trained to read eye language gets just plain weird, like a feedback loop. Seeing evidence of lack of interest, self-absorption, complete political or religious intransigence, or other issues in the general public has me moving on.

The eyes can be windows to
Spoiler
a lot of empty houses.
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Old 10-29-2023, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Canada
14,653 posts, read 14,749,287 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
Have you tried wearing sunglasses?
I was thinking the same thing. The answer to the problem is staring OP in the eyes.

OP, try to think outside the box and stop worrying about social behaviours that you read about on internet.

Prolonged eye contact can mean both interest or aggression.

If you don't feel comfortable making eye contact and having people seeing what's going on inside your head through your eyes then make your own eyes invisible. Just get yourself some clear glasses (or clip-ons if you already wear glasses) that have the highly reflective mirrored coating on the lenses. Then other people won't know where you're looking or if you're making or avoiding eye contact with them and you won't have to look in their eyes if you don't want to.

.
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Old 10-29-2023, 07:39 PM
 
Location: So Cal
19,227 posts, read 15,090,324 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Navyshow View Post
Eye contact is a great deflector. If I am on cd and the boss walks over to my desk to ask a question, I lock eyes with him and give him the answer. That way his eyes stay on mine and do not jump over to my screen. But even so, it wouldn't matter. I just like to look like a super worker when I can.
Lol!
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Old 12-02-2023, 03:28 PM
 
824 posts, read 427,533 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoisite View Post
I was thinking the same thing. The answer to the problem is staring OP in the eyes.

OP, try to think outside the box and stop worrying about social behaviours that you read about on internet.

Prolonged eye contact can mean both interest or aggression.

If you don't feel comfortable making eye contact and having people seeing what's going on inside your head through your eyes then make your own eyes invisible. Just get yourself some clear glasses (or clip-ons if you already wear glasses) that have the highly reflective mirrored coating on the lenses. Then other people won't know where you're looking or if you're making or avoiding eye contact with them and you won't have to look in their eyes if you don't want to.

.





Haaa, yeah l often wear glasses just bc l can't be effd with it. Mind you ,people haven't understood what l've tried to say about this stuff. And no l'm not worried about them seeing what's in my head they'd have no idea, zero, in a lot of cases if they did they'd soon stop it.
Tbh , l've found most people are pretty useless at reading your face ir eyes.
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Old 12-02-2023, 04:15 PM
 
824 posts, read 427,533 times
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Don't think l' on any spectrum haha, l am a lot sharper and aware than most though so that also seems to put out a weirdly strong vibe if l do even glance in anyones direction.
This has gone on my whole life so so something l've also tried to train myself with since l was a kid too.
Mind you, l'm also physically the sort of person that's easily noticed too so that doesn't help. l've thought a 1000x though through life l'd give anything to just be and look like some average, blend in, that no one notices, must be heaven if your a private person as l am. Doesn't help being tall either. But so yeah, this also obviously leads to eye stuff too.
Seems most people wanna be noticed and just don't understand those of us that don't.
Only yesterday l'm walking through the park over to the shops, some guy gets out of a car 20mtrs over, literally staring right at me over his shoulder, all the way across the road and into the door of the shops. Busy road to cross too l'm thinking ha, he's gonna get hit so busy still staring at me over his shoulder even crossing that road.
l get that all the time, maybe he was gay,no idea, didn't look it. But just one of 100s of examples, 1000s probably l'm 50s so yeah, been goin on awhile, from women too and men my gf always chuckling about it especially women when we're out and about, 6yrs and she still can't believe it,neither could ex w.
So nope , l'm not just some bored fool starting silly threads in a forum. l'm hardly even in the forum as you'd see. Just happened to see this category in this place though and so yeah, in my 50s, obviously l'm well use to it by this age and have my ways these days but just thought maybe l'd talk about this sort of thing here. Could be a few trained people around that might like to add their 2 pennys.
Or someone that's dealt with the same thing their whole lives too.

Last edited by randomx; 12-02-2023 at 04:41 PM..
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Old 12-02-2023, 06:53 PM
 
1,853 posts, read 856,060 times
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Huh?
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Old 12-03-2023, 02:59 PM
 
824 posts, read 427,533 times
Reputation: 984
Glad you get the picture
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