Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
2,500,000 members. Thank you!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-25-2023, 08:04 AM
 
805 posts, read 418,418 times
Reputation: 948

Advertisements

According to forums or pretty well anything internet, people are huge on eye contact - why, l have no damn idea ? lt's like they make some 24 7 constant effort to eye contact with anyone or dog on the street anywhere any time or some rubbish.
Yeah ok the ones trying to chat someone up or going on a date sure , l can understand it, well sort of. Although even the way most seem to talk about that to actually just sounds down right unnatural and forced to me.
Myself, l don't actually like too much eye contact. But there has always been something about my eyes or within actually though too, that people sense and pick up in an instant, and that gets on my nerves. They could even have their back to me l might just glance toward them they'd turn around look straight at me, l seem to put out some very strong vibe. Not in a bad way as such, people like me it's not that, many a time even just a glance though has almost been taken as an invitation to either chat or be followed about or none stop stares back in return by women or even men. Shyt like this has happened 1000s of time over the yrs so it's something l've always been very aware of.
l've observed other people out and about or friends too or anyone else in all sorts of situations and never see this sort of thing often they'd just about have to jump in front of someone to be noticed, lucky them l;d say.

l'm by no means shy or anything like that however l am a very private person and so l'm very selective too about whom l'd acknowledge or put out a bit of a smile to, out and about so let alone invite into my space,head, or chat too- if that makes sense.
lf l was to purposely make so called eye contact the way people seem to stress and stress all over the internet or forums though, it's as if l'd probably burn straight through someone's head anyway l'd say, so l'm damned if l get why so many people seem so obsessed about eye contact.

Thoughts ?

Last edited by randomx; 10-25-2023 at 08:31 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-25-2023, 08:50 AM
 
1,764 posts, read 812,679 times
Reputation: 4789
All over the Internet? Which Internet?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2023, 09:04 AM
 
12,547 posts, read 8,763,092 times
Reputation: 34314
A. By making eye contact you are acknowledging their existence as a person.
B. It shows that you are interested in what they are saying.
C. The perception that someone who isn't willing to look you in the eyes is hiding something.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2023, 09:07 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
15,924 posts, read 20,856,010 times
Reputation: 43092
Quote:
Originally Posted by rokuremote View Post
All over the Internet? Which Internet?
Meh, all kinds of 'advice' stuff, how to date, make friends, impress your boss, whatever.
I don't agree with OP a hundred percent but I feel they do have a point. Not making eye contact with people is considered unfriendly, or even untrustworthy by a LOT of people.

I used to work with a guy who never made eye contact, ever, and would look at the ceiling, the floor, or at a spot over just your shoulder and I admit it was always weird having any sort of conversation with him. But he was an extreme case and I think it's a little silly when people are accused of being rude or having low self esteem or whatever negative thing they get labeled with if they aren't big on eye contact.

I'm also going to point out that a favorite tactic of shoplifters is to engage staff with overly friendly conversation and plenty of eye contact as a means to distract employees while the shoplifter's sidekick(s) are pilfering merchandise. So much for making eye contact as a sign of being 'trustworthy'
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2023, 09:23 AM
 
1,764 posts, read 812,679 times
Reputation: 4789
Stop searching or otherwise surfing places about eye contact and live the way you want with less eye contact.
I don't see things online that I'm not already looking for in some way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2023, 10:06 AM
 
5,545 posts, read 2,957,844 times
Reputation: 13947
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomx View Post
According to forums or pretty well anything internet, people are huge on eye contact - why, l have no damn idea ? lt's like they make some 24 7 constant effort to eye contact with anyone or dog on the street anywhere any time or some rubbish.
Yeah ok the ones trying to chat someone up or going on a date sure , l can understand it, well sort of. Although even the way most seem to talk about that to actually just sounds down right unnatural and forced to me.
Myself, l don't actually like too much eye contact. But there has always been something about my eyes or within actually though too, that people sense and pick up in an instant, and that gets on my nerves. They could even have their back to me l might just glance toward them they'd turn around look straight at me, l seem to put out some very strong vibe. Not in a bad way as such, people like me it's not that, many a time even just a glance though has almost been taken as an invitation to either chat or be followed about or none stop stares back in return by women or even men. Shyt like this has happened 1000s of time over the yrs so it's something l've always been very aware of.
l've observed other people out and about or friends too or anyone else in all sorts of situations and never see this sort of thing often they'd just about have to jump in front of someone to be noticed, lucky them l;d say.

l'm by no means shy or anything like that however l am a very private person and so l'm very selective too about whom l'd acknowledge or put out a bit of a smile to, out and about so let alone invite into my space,head, or chat too- if that makes sense.
lf l was to purposely make so called eye contact the way people seem to stress and stress all over the internet or forums though, it's as if l'd probably burn straight through someone's head anyway l'd say, so l'm damned if l get why so many people seem so obsessed about eye contact.

Thoughts ?
I mean absolutely no disrespect...do you think MAYBE you might be on the autistic spectrum a little bit? Folks with autism have difficulty with eye contact. Maintaining contact does not come naturally for them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2023, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Ruston, Louisiana
1,923 posts, read 957,354 times
Reputation: 4390
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomx View Post
According to forums or pretty well anything internet, people are huge on eye contact - why, l have no damn idea ? lt's like they make some 24 7 constant effort to eye contact with anyone or dog on the street anywhere any time or some rubbish.
Yeah ok the ones trying to chat someone up or going on a date sure , l can understand it, well sort of. Although even the way most seem to talk about that to actually just sounds down right unnatural and forced to me.
Myself, l don't actually like too much eye contact. But there has always been something about my eyes or within actually though too, that people sense and pick up in an instant, and that gets on my nerves. They could even have their back to me l might just glance toward them they'd turn around look straight at me, l seem to put out some very strong vibe. Not in a bad way as such, people like me it's not that, many a time even just a glance though has almost been taken as an invitation to either chat or be followed about or none stop stares back in return by women or even men. Shyt like this has happened 1000s of time over the yrs so it's something l've always been very aware of.
l've observed other people out and about or friends too or anyone else in all sorts of situations and never see this sort of thing often they'd just about have to jump in front of someone to be noticed, lucky them l;d say.

l'm by no means shy or anything like that however l am a very private person and so l'm very selective too about whom l'd acknowledge or put out a bit of a smile to, out and about so let alone invite into my space,head, or chat too- if that makes sense.
lf l was to purposely make so called eye contact the way people seem to stress and stress all over the internet or forums though, it's as if l'd probably burn straight through someone's head anyway l'd say, so l'm damned if l get why so many people seem so obsessed about eye contact.

Thoughts ?
Is this really affecting your life in such a way you feel the need to talk about it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2023, 02:20 PM
 
2,084 posts, read 1,411,809 times
Reputation: 5686
Eye contact is a great deflector. If I am on cd and the boss walks over to my desk to ask a question, I lock eyes with him and give him the answer. That way his eyes stay on mine and do not jump over to my screen. But even so, it wouldn't matter. I just like to look like a super worker when I can.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2023, 02:50 PM
 
5,545 posts, read 2,957,844 times
Reputation: 13947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bootsamillion View Post
Is this really affecting your life in such a way you feel the need to talk about it?
It's a forum. He brought up a topic on a forum where people bring up topics on forums to talk about. Clearly, it's affecting his life enough, since he brought it up.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-25-2023, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,195 posts, read 14,379,587 times
Reputation: 38983
I take eye contact as signaling possible openness (or not) for further interaction. It is acknowledgement. But I also understand that people just...look at one another.

But the trick of that is that if you have no intention of interaction with someone, as soon as you see them looking back at you or appearing to notice your gaze, you refocus your eyes elsewhere. That's non-verbal for, "Oh, no, I was not trying to stare or engage with you in any way. I'm minding my own business. No worries!"

I grew up in areas where if certain people around me noticed that I was looking at them, they might respond with hostility, violence, or even sexual assault. I learned to be very aware and conscious of my eye contact. For a time, my Mom had a boyfriend whose rowdy drinking buddies were a constant menace around our house and if they caught me so much as glancing at any of them, they'd come after me thinking I wanted sex. Men in their 20s and 30s when I was a teenager. I learned after the first one, to keep my eyes on the floor any time they were around.

Later on as a young adult, for a while I had to ride the bus to and from work. There were tons of really crazy people on the bus. I learned to wear a ballcap and while very discreetly being aware of where others were around me, keep the bill of the hat blocking the line of sight from my eyes and their face, so they would not be easily able to try and interact with me.

And I did get left alone.

Some of the best public speakers and singers and performers know to make just the right amount of eye contact with various people in the crowd.

When I was dating, I noticed that if I was on a date and felt comfortable and confident, I made more eye contact. Not making eye contact only meant that I was nervous...but that nervousness was sometimes an indicator that I was actually attracted. I can recall a few dates where I felt relaxed and confident but also had negative opinions of my date and I made eye contact with him but there was no second date. And others where I could not hold the guy's eye contact for long, but we wound up seeing each other for a while.

But I think that out in just...random public...not at bars or anywhere people go to try and hook up, just out in the world...the main reason I might get caught looking at a stranger is that they look familiar to me and once I notice that, it bugs me. I want to try and figure out if I know them or who they remind me of. Which I'm happy to explain if they notice enough to try and talk to me...but I'm not actually necessarily trying to start an interaction.

So yeah, it is a thing, it can mean stuff, just like with a whole lot of primates and other mammals on the planet.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top