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Old 11-12-2023, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,079,335 times
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I am not sure if I have OCD but wonder about it sometimes.....

I've lived alone now for over 24 years, so that may have something to do with it, but I am very neat...meaning, if something is out of place I have to put it back in its place....

When my kids come over to dinner, they don't really rinse the dishes off like I do, and just throw them in the dishwasher and that bothers me, although I don't say anything. When you throw dishes in the dishwasher dirty, all that food collects at the bottom or in the filter and I really hate the thought of that....

My son always puts the butter dish in the wrong place, instead of it's rightful home. LOL

My DIL said, she feels that sometimes I'll come behind her and redo what she has done....and I hate that she feels that way?

I'm a real clean freak....although not as bad as I used to be years ago, but, DIL asked me if I dust 3 x's a day? LOL

I literally hate anyone in my kitchen when I am cooking and dishing food up, it makes me real nervous and I don't know why?

My DIL came in one night and I had sauce with meatballs in it, simmering on the stove, she picked up a big spoon and went to stir it and I jumped at her saying, "oh my don't stir, there are meat balls in there!"....and I know I hurt her feelings...

Now this could stem from when I was married a long time ago. I considered myself a pretty good cook, but everytime I put something on the table, my now ex complained to the point that it made me so nervous to cook.

My son said once, that b/c I've lived alone for a very long time, and have always been independent, that I just have a way of doing things?

Then I wonder sometimes if I'm a control freak? My DIL is fixated on buying gifts for Christmas, and at my age, almost 75 I don't need anything...and asked for gift cards, but that doesn't suit her....? She has to buy a gift...? And I'm not really into what she buys me, but say nothing....

So, I just thought I'd jump on here and see if I could get some feedback...I really wonder if I have OCD or am a very controlling person?
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Old 11-12-2023, 10:31 PM
 
11,543 posts, read 12,567,466 times
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It doesn't sound like genuine OCD. For example, a real OCD moment would be if your son put back the butter dish in the wrong place and you couldn't leave your house until it's back in the "right" spot. You would obsess about that butter dish and have an anxiety attack until you could go home and put it back and once you put it back, you would check and recheck and recheck to make sure that you really did put the butter dish in its place.

It sounds like you have just become set in your ways without any type of pathology. This is why some older people do not remarry in their twilight years (along with other reasons) because they are not flexible or adaptable like younger people when they first marry.
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Old 11-12-2023, 10:37 PM
 
1,845 posts, read 850,844 times
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Hyper controlling
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Old 11-12-2023, 10:44 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,079,335 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rokuremote View Post
Hyper controlling
ontrolling behavior occurs when a person attempts to conform another person to their own needs or desires through some form of manipulation which I don't do, in my own home, I just want certain things done a certain way...but I don't try to conform anyone to my own needs or desires....thru manipulation....nor would I try.

I meant I'm controlling in wanting my house a certain way, when I'm in someone else's home, its their home, their rules....and I respect that....
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Old 11-12-2023, 10:47 PM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,079,335 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coney View Post
It doesn't sound like genuine OCD. For example, a real OCD moment would be if your son put back the butter dish in the wrong place and you couldn't leave your house until it's back in the "right" spot. You would obsess about that butter dish and have an anxiety attack until you could go home and put it back and once you put it back, you would check and recheck and recheck to make sure that you really did put the butter dish in its place.

It sounds like you have just become set in your ways without any type of pathology. This is why some older people do not remarry in their twilight years (along with other reasons) because they are not flexible or adaptable like younger people when they first marry.
yes, your right, haven't had a desire to date in over 25 years now....let alone live with someone, and to be honest...I wouldn't like house guests either for any length of time, that would make me so nervous...I am a loner...enjoy people but the older I grow, the more I'm alone, the more enjoyable my life is.
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Old 11-12-2023, 11:52 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,040 posts, read 83,846,650 times
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No. OCD is an anxiety disorder. As someone pointed out, it's when obsessions and the compulsive behavior to manage them take over and interfere with you being able to conduct your life.

Although cleaning compulsions are popular perceptions of OCD due to TV and movies, it's not always how OCD manifests. I'm not a germophobe at all, and my house is just clean enough but often messy, and I have OCD. It's just not something others can see because most of my obsessions and compulsions are inside my head.
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Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 12-05-2023 at 02:10 PM.. Reason: Typo
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Old 11-13-2023, 01:25 AM
 
Location: minnesota
15,795 posts, read 6,208,803 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
ontrolling behavior occurs when a person attempts to conform another person to their own needs or desires through some form of manipulation which I don't do, in my own home, I just want certain things done a certain way...but I don't try to conform anyone to my own needs or desires....thru manipulation....nor would I try.

I meant I'm controlling in wanting my house a certain way, when I'm in someone else's home, its their home, their rules....and I respect that....
You are doing it despite you stating it is having a negative impact on those you love.
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Old 11-13-2023, 05:19 AM
Status: ""Let my people think"" (set 22 days ago)
 
1,383 posts, read 743,332 times
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Hi Miss Bruleed : )

Some people on this forum are just mean and I'm sorry for that! You asked a sincere question and some people are throwing spears at you.

You sound like a nice person who likes a clean house. I WISH I had your "problem". I keep a clean house but it's a chore and it's never as clean and organized as I would like it to be.

As far as the gifts, let them give them. I think they are trying to express their love.
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Old 11-13-2023, 07:08 AM
 
Location: Kentucky Bluegrass
28,840 posts, read 30,079,335 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancy739 View Post
Hi Miss Bruleed : )

Some people on this forum are just mean and I'm sorry for that! You asked a sincere question and some people are throwing spears at you.

You sound like a nice person who likes a clean house. I WISH I had your "problem". I keep a clean house but it's a chore and it's never as clean and organized as I would like it to be.

As far as the gifts, let them give them. I think they are trying to express their love.
Thank you, and hello I’ve been on this forum for many years, and extremely outspoken for which I am not liked, also tend to go off subject. When someone writes something my mind seems to go on many directions
I’m an old school boomer and do not like the direction this country is going in or the way some parents raise their kids today and my grand daughter at 21 manages kids younger then herself plus my son is a police officer and of course they will occasionally vent on how kids act.

Anyway I am not liked and I know it and there are some who will jab at me any way they can, pssst I don’t care, anyway I’m getting pretty set in my ways and was concerned about it

Thank you kindly
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Old 11-13-2023, 07:27 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,261 posts, read 47,182,535 times
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you are controlling... to an extent.

"A controlling person's insecurities can lead her to seek structure and boundaries, to make her feel safer."... that's something I once read.

Which ties right in to your statement:
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post

Now this could stem from when I was married a long time ago. I considered myself a pretty good cook, but everytime I put something on the table, my now ex complained to the point that it made me so nervous to cook.
Now that you recognize it, what will you do about it?


As an aside... Why can't you stir a sauce with meatballs in it? I always do!
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