U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Happy Easter!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-28-2008, 06:58 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 23,218,536 times
Reputation: 7378

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by djfish34ren View Post
I can't get rid of the biggest emotional vampire to me.

It's my mind.

It races and stops and is indifferent and cares and loves and hates and....

Ugh.

Essentially, it is the same for all of us.... it is our own emotions and thought processes that allows others to do this.
You are right...no one can do anything to us without our permission.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-28-2008, 06:58 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,329,346 times
Reputation: 6944
Wow...very impressive post Djfish. Good for you. You deserve a rep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by djfish34ren View Post
I can't get rid of the biggest emotional vampire to me.

It's my mind.

It races and stops and is indifferent and cares and loves and hates and....

Ugh.

Essentially, it is the same for all of us.... it is our own emotions and thought processes that allows others to do this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2008, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Iowa
918 posts, read 1,438,462 times
Reputation: 369
Thanks guys!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2008, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,150,048 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
I know these people. Actually, they are really several different subspecies:
You know, cpg, I start getting the feeling that after you neatly file us all in one or more of your categories you might be the last Mohican standing... Unless Jonathan joins you...

Quote:
Originally Posted by djfish34ren View Post
Essentially, it is the same for all of us.... it is our own emotions and thought processes that allows others to do this.
True...

Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
cpg there is actually a book called emotional vampires it isn't something that you just invented or pioneered all on your own....please let's give credit where credit is due....have a nice day
Speaking of books (do you keep the count up, cpg?), there's a very good book on the subject - Are You in Love With a Vampire? Healing the Relationship Drain Game, by Helaine Z. Harris. That's one example, Artsy, why I said I'm no longer so stuck on personality disorders as every book describes the same dance in different terms...

Back to the original question. I believe I was married to an emotional vampire. Hell, I might be one, too, even though he hasn't complained of energy drain. I was accused of being a "water torturer"... Now, what's true and what's projections is everybody's guess, right... two sides to each story... However, I did feel physically drained and the reason I made the connection is I happened to come across the book above shortly before I really felt it.

My ex and I had been separated for a while and decided to try to patch things up and were "dating." That's when I noticed after he'd spent Saturday with me and leave on Sunday I felt absolutely drained... I mean drained as in listless... I'd just lie down and be unable to lift a limb... And supposedly everything was great before that! Go figure, huh... And yes, cpg, I know I'm drawn to such people. Regular, square, and "healthy" ones bore me to death. It's a curse, but that's the way it is. You can file me in whichever category you'd like. God knows I've done enough filing on my own.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2008, 08:04 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,329,346 times
Reputation: 6944
^Sierra I definitely appreciate your independent style of thinking and honesty.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2008, 08:16 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,235,124 times
Reputation: 45820
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
You know, cpg, I start getting the feeling that after you neatly file us all in one or more of your categories you might be the last Mohican standing... Unless Jonathan joins you...



True...



Speaking of books (do you keep the count up, cpg?), there's a very good book on the subject - Are You in Love With a Vampire? Healing the Relationship Drain Game, by Helaine Z. Harris. That's one example, Artsy, why I said I'm no longer so stuck on personality disorders as every book describes the same dance in different terms...

Back to the original question. I believe I was married to an emotional vampire. Hell, I might be one, too, even though he hasn't complained of energy drain. I was accused of being a "water torturer"... Now, what's true and what's projections is everybody's guess, right... two sides to each story... However, I did feel physically drained and the reason I made the connection is I happened to come across the book above shortly before I really felt it.

My ex and I had been separated for a while and decided to try to patch things up and were "dating." That's when I noticed after he'd spent Saturday with me and leave on Sunday I felt absolutely drained... I mean drained as in listless... I'd just lie down and be unable to lift a limb... And supposedly everything was great before that! Go figure, huh... And yes, cpg, I know I'm drawn to such people. Regular, square, and "healthy" ones bore me to death. It's a curse, but that's the way it is. You can file me in whichever category you'd like. God knows I've done enough filing on my own.
See, Sierra, I don't file you into any of these, because you have a pretty healthy view of things and a sense of humor about it all. A lot of the posters pretty much just like to talk about relationships and swap stories. However, I think anybody who has more than five relationship books is pretty much spinning his/her wheels. If you can't figure it out after the fifth "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" clone, then you're never going to figure out--particularly when dating is about common sense, self-respect, and keeping yourself from being a self-centered individual long enough to cultivate a shared sense of purpose.

Instead, the ones I'm referring to in my pompous theory...well, you can draw your own conclusions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2008, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Iowa
918 posts, read 1,438,462 times
Reputation: 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
See, Sierra, I don't file you into any of these, because you have a pretty healthy view of things and a sense of humor about it all. A lot of the posters pretty much just like to talk about relationships and swap stories. However, I think anybody who has more than five relationship books is pretty much spinning his/her wheels. If you can't figure it out after the fifth "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" clone, then you're never going to figure out--particularly when dating is about common sense, self-respect, and keeping yourself from being a self-centered individual long enough to cultivate a shared sense of purpose.

Instead, the ones I'm referring to in my pompous theory...well, you can draw your own conclusions.
Right here!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2008, 08:21 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,329,346 times
Reputation: 6944
lol...this isn't Relationships Anonymous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by djfish34ren View Post
Right here!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2008, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,150,048 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
See, Sierra, I don't file you into any of these, because you have a pretty healthy view of things and a sense of humor about it all. A lot of the posters pretty much just like to talk about relationships and swap stories. However, I think anybody who has more than five relationship books is pretty much spinning his/her wheels. If you can't figure it out after the fifth "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" clone, then you're never going to figure out--particularly when dating is about common sense, self-respect, and keeping yourself from being a self-centered individual long enough to cultivate a shared sense of purpose.

Instead, the ones I'm referring to in my pompous theory...well, you can draw your own conclusions.
I HAVE figured it out, cpg! I've figured it out better than you can imagine! That's why I stay away from any relationships and just yap about them. You see, it's too late to change my ways. I don't really have the need for a marriage that would be a compromise anymore for any reason at all and if I'm not planning on getting married I might as well just continue on my merry way of either doing nothing or truly enjoying whoever I am with and this person I'd enjoy ain't gonna be "good for me"... The only danger in this situation is that no matter how much analyzing I've done and how much I know about any red flags I just might decide to throw all common sense out of the window some bright day...

And yes, you're right, swapping stories (as in variations of stupidity) is of no interest to me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-29-2008, 02:04 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 4,391,470 times
Reputation: 2034
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
I HAVE figured it out, cpg! I've figured it out better than you can imagine! That's why I stay away from any relationships and just yap about them. You see, it's too late to change my ways. I don't really have the need for a marriage that would be a compromise anymore for any reason at all and if I'm not planning on getting married I might as well just continue on my merry way of either doing nothing or truly enjoying whoever I am with and this person I'd enjoy ain't gonna be "good for me"... The only danger in this situation is that no matter how much analyzing I've done and how much I know about any red flags I just might decide to throw all common sense out of the window some bright day...

And yes, you're right, swapping stories (as in variations of stupidity) is of no interest to me.

The lyrics to another big Toby Keith hit are all right here in this thread!

This is the why was Dr. Malfi having Sex dreams about Tony debate?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top