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Old 09-12-2009, 03:34 PM
Status: "Yes, words DO inflame or inspire others." (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Dallas, TX
2,933 posts, read 1,746,323 times
Reputation: 2889

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
The only decent ones are 14 and maybe 3. Sheesh.
21 and 22 doesn't stop em.
While I agree that men on this list are not good marriage material,the word "decent" is a bit too severe; especially in light of its opposite "indecent", which stigmatizes men who are not a "14 and maybe 3". You didn't intend to stigmatize, I don't think; but its best to choose a less judgment-loaded word to describe older unmarrieds.
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Old 09-12-2009, 04:06 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 4,390,286 times
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Damn, if all men think like this, then I'm assuming I can kiss any chance of ever getting married good-bye!

Add into the mix the fact that I'm career focused and I'm really screwed!

I better start buying some cats.
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:01 PM
 
17,749 posts, read 15,031,977 times
Reputation: 6377
Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
Damn, if all men think like this, then I'm assuming I can kiss any chance of ever getting married good-bye!

Add into the mix the fact that I'm career focused and I'm really screwed!

I better start buying some cats.
Hi mango tango,

Keep in mind this is the never married and 40. That leaves divorced and widowers. If you don't mind the weather, its all men in Alaska. So:
27. He lives in Alaska.
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:12 AM
 
9,853 posts, read 5,726,051 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil75230 View Post
While I agree that men on this list are not good marriage material,the word "decent" is a bit too severe; especially in light of its opposite "indecent", which stigmatizes men who are not a "14 and maybe 3". You didn't intend to stigmatize, I don't think; but its best to choose a less judgment-loaded word to describe older unmarrieds.
It just seems there are so many negatives on that list - narcissistic, scared, greedy- all these flaws which exist independent of marital status. I'd be more worried about people who feel they have to get married to be fulfilled. You seldom see anyone questioning the psychology of married men but that list could be just as interesting.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:46 AM
 
11,393 posts, read 12,664,219 times
Reputation: 12424
Quote:
Originally Posted by blossom4792 View Post
I have a specific reason for asking this question (yes, mega-crush), but I'm wondering if anyone could explain the psychology of a super-professional man, over 40 (let's say mid-40s), never married, no children, very ultra serious and professional - successful, but not buying a super-mansion or fancy car. I guess one example is Patrick Fitzgerald who I take it got married last year. But I'm wondering how such a person structures his life; what does he do when he gets home? Does he watch TV or just read professional journals, or does he have some way to find casual dates? And does he suppress his sex drive, or do men, even the super serious academic types find an outlet and how? And is this an age trigger where they are looking to finally find someone? [I would also ask about females, but my goal here is somewhat specific; but obviously all discussion is welcome and appreciated]. I feel kind of paranoid about being more specific, just don't want to jinx anything, even if completely totally unrealistic.
To be completely honest with you he sounds like he has been married to his career. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with him. I'm sure he isn't a sexless man but he must have put all his effort into his profession.

Now, to warn you...is he ready to turn the page in his life? Is he ready to devote some time in a different direction let's say on you. Or is he going to continue to be a workaholic? See, you are going to have to see if this is something that will change. He may not have time for you.

Other than that I hope it works out.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Eastern Missouri
3,054 posts, read 5,031,003 times
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Sometimes a guy meets a girl, thinks that's the girl to spend the rest of my life with, then after 10 plus years of going out, she says, nope, I'm breaking up. Guy then pours himself into a hobby and forgets women for alot more years. Then he wakes up one morning, realizes he's over 40 and still single.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:26 AM
 
1,310 posts, read 2,641,152 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 12GO View Post
Sometimes a guy meets a girl, thinks that's the girl to spend the rest of my life with, then after 10 plus years of going out, she says, nope, I'm breaking up. Guy then pours himself into a hobby and forgets women for alot more years. Then he wakes up one morning, realizes he's over 40 and still single.
Im sure this is a common scenario today . I think for men who are over 50, they are VERY reluctant to take the marriage plunge again due to the risk of becoming broke (as before) should the marriage only last 10 years or so . Then it affects his retirement . Another thing that complicates the issue, is that both people usually have a list of baggage from their life experiences which are detrimental to a good working marriage. I do beleive this is why Men in this age range put their energies into hobbies , special interests, guy friends... and may enjoy the company of a woman on an occasional basis (or, just abandon women all together) .
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:30 AM
 
17,749 posts, read 15,031,977 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 12GO View Post
Sometimes a guy meets a girl, thinks that's the girl to spend the rest of my life with, then after 10 plus years of going out, she says, nope, I'm breaking up. Guy then pours himself into a hobby and forgets women for alot more years. Then he wakes up one morning, realizes he's over 40 and still single.
Hi 12GO,

I work with a 30 year old guy who after dating his high school sweetheart for 10 years, married. In 2 years she dumped him. So we have a guy who does not know how to circulate. He could certainly drift for awhile. Good guy too.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Orlando
8,221 posts, read 10,950,653 times
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Statistically a man over 35 , never married has a 50% chance he is gay. the odds increase with age. Perhaps the crush is for the unattainable?
Not to be the one to point out the obvious but maybe he is great for dinner parties, decorating, and chick flicks :-)
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:47 AM
 
9,853 posts, read 5,726,051 times
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This is a lot of pressure for men to marry. Now single guys have to worry about people thinking they are gay.
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