Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have a specific reason for asking this question (yes, mega-crush), but I'm wondering if anyone could explain the psychology of a super-professional man, over 40 (let's say mid-40s), never married, no children, very ultra serious and professional - successful, but not buying a super-mansion or fancy car. I guess one example is Patrick Fitzgerald who I take it got married last year. But I'm wondering how such a person structures his life; what does he do when he gets home? Does he watch TV or just read professional journals, or does he have some way to find casual dates? And does he suppress his sex drive, or do men, even the super serious academic types find an outlet and how? And is this an age trigger where they are looking to finally find someone? [I would also ask about females, but my goal here is somewhat specific; but obviously all discussion is welcome and appreciated]. I feel kind of paranoid about being more specific, just don't want to jinx anything, even if completely totally unrealistic.
I don't see what the big deal is, I mean there's not that much incentive for a guy to get married before 40 anyway especially if he's really professional and serious about his career. My guess is he comes home like anyone else, enjoys himself, watches some TV, maybe pops in a movie from time to time, hangs out with friends and plays poker or some other hobby he has whether it's golf from time to time or whatever else. Probably goes out with the occasional girl he meets, who knows.
Just because you have a high sex drive doesn't mean you need a girl around. There are other ways to take care of business, lol. Girls aren't necessary in a guy's life, they are just accessories to it. Not to be mean but a strong, professional guy doesn't need a girl, he probably interacts with them as much or as little as he wants, without feeling any need to get tied down to one. Anyway, for guys it's a horrible idea to get tied down early. Why marry a girl when you're 25, your age, who will be old when you're old basically? Forget that. If you're 40, rich, successful, and keep yourself in good shape, you will have the pick of any girl you want who is good looking and late 20s, way better than if you had gotten married at 25 and are now stuck with a girl who is 40 and well past her prime.
These days nothing is about love. Relationships at one point in time used to be about love or falling in love.
There isn't that these days. People are just accessories to each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
I don't see what the big deal is, I mean there's not that much incentive for a guy to get married before 40 anyway especially if he's really professional and serious about his career. My guess is he comes home like anyone else, enjoys himself, watches some TV, maybe pops in a movie from time to time, hangs out with friends and plays poker or some other hobby he has whether it's golf from time to time or whatever else. Probably goes out with the occasional girl he meets, who knows.
Just because you have a high sex drive doesn't mean you need a girl around. There are other ways to take care of business, lol. Girls aren't necessary in a guy's life, they are just accessories to it. Not to be mean but a strong, professional guy doesn't need a girl, he probably interacts with them as much or as little as he wants, without feeling any need to get tied down to one. Anyway, for guys it's a horrible idea to get tied down early. Why marry a girl when you're 25, your age, who will be old when you're old basically? Forget that. If you're 40, rich, successful, and keep yourself in good shape, you will have the pick of any girl you want who is good looking and late 20s, way better than if you had gotten married at 25 and are now stuck with a girl who is 40 and well past her prime.
Just because you have a high sex drive doesn't mean you need a girl around. There are other ways to take care of business, lol. Girls aren't necessary in a guy's life,...........
I tend to agree except in one point. Most men have less interest in marriage as they age. They become more selective because the stakes are so high if a marriage fails.
When they are in their 20s, the stakes are less and they are also more inclined to be attracted to women who appreciate them for their potential and their inner qualities. Since most relationships at that age are fueled by physical attraction, if a woman can be attracted to a man for other reasons, he appreciates it a lot.
If you wait until he is successful, he`s sceptical, to put it mildly and usually not that receptive.
I've dealt with that my entire life already. My parents told me I shouldn't bring girls home, because if they see my house it could be awkward, and they acted like I should just flat-out lie about some things to conceal the family's wealth. I got really sick of that. It makes things too complicated. Girls take a bad wrap I think sometimes, like I think girls are a lot smarter and a lot less shallow than some guys give them credit for, and that coming from a guy who isn't exactly a big fan of girls sometimes What I mean is I've dated a lot of girls, and after a while I started to be like screw it, I don't care, yeah I'm rich, whatever, yeah my dad owns the building your friend lives in, etc. I just made no big deal of it, like I wouldn't specifically mention anything but I wouldn't make it ANY kind of deal at all. I would just be very comfortable with who I was and where I came from, and I found girls got over it too, like they'd see the house the first time and be awe-struck, but then they realized I was just a pretty down-to-earth guy after all, and not looking to "show off" I just didn't care that much, so it was never an issue. I never felt any girl I dated was overly impressed with my material possessions, because I didn't let them become an issue. I just wanted things to be normal and her to like me for who I am, my own goals and ambitions, and my own hobbies and personality. I found that most girls at least didn't appear to care much about that kind of superficial stuff, they really just wanted to get to know me as a person more. I have never encountered a girl so far who I thought was actually gold-digging me or trying to mooch off me. Maybe I've just been lucky.
I'm sure there ARE girls like that, though, and I would be careful with divulging too much information beyond the basics, though. It's just NOT possible to conceal everything. I can't be like, "Gee here's my condo in downtown L.A., yeah I'm a filmmaker you've never heard of who doesn't get regular work who somehow nonetheless affords this lifestyle." It's just pretty obvious something is up right away, so might as well just be honest if she asks questions. I'm not a guy who enjoys lying or playing games, though, I like to be pretty upfront.
I have a specific reason for asking this question (yes, mega-crush), but I'm wondering if anyone could explain the psychology of a super-professional man, over 40 (let's say mid-40s), never married, no children, very ultra serious and professional - successful, but not buying a super-mansion or fancy car. I guess one example is Patrick Fitzgerald who I take it got married last year. But I'm wondering how such a person structures his life; what does he do when he gets home? Does he watch TV or just read professional journals, or does he have some way to find casual dates? And does he suppress his sex drive, or do men, even the super serious academic types find an outlet and how? And is this an age trigger where they are looking to finally find someone? [I would also ask about females, but my goal here is somewhat specific; but obviously all discussion is welcome and appreciated]. I feel kind of paranoid about being more specific, just don't want to jinx anything, even if completely totally unrealistic.
His life is probably extremely normal, activities, dinners with friends, occasional dates. He probably just hasn't found the right girl yet, and yes maybe that sounds cliche, but sometimes it really is just that simple.
I've dealt with that my entire life already. My parents told me I shouldn't bring girls home, because if they see my house it could be awkward, and they acted like I should just flat-out lie about some things to conceal the family's wealth. I got really sick of that. It makes things too complicated. Girls take a bad wrap I think sometimes, like I think girls are a lot smarter and a lot less shallow than some guys give them credit for, and that coming from a guy who isn't exactly a big fan of girls sometimes What I mean is I've dated a lot of girls, and after a while I started to be like screw it, I don't care, yeah I'm rich, whatever, yeah my dad owns the building your friend lives in, etc. I just made no big deal of it, like I wouldn't specifically mention anything but I wouldn't make it ANY kind of deal at all. I would just be very comfortable with who I was and where I came from, and I found girls got over it too, like they'd see the house the first time and be awe-struck, but then they realized I was just a pretty down-to-earth guy after all, and not looking to "show off" I just didn't care that much, so it was never an issue. I never felt any girl I dated was overly impressed with my material possessions, because I didn't let them become an issue. I just wanted things to be normal and her to like me for who I am, my own goals and ambitions, and my own hobbies and personality. I found that most girls at least didn't appear to care much about that kind of superficial stuff, they really just wanted to get to know me as a person more. I have never encountered a girl so far who I thought was actually gold-digging me or trying to mooch off me. Maybe I've just been lucky.
I'm sure there ARE girls like that, though, and I would be careful with divulging too much information beyond the basics, though. It's just NOT possible to conceal everything. I can't be like, "Gee here's my condo in downtown L.A., yeah I'm a filmmaker you've never heard of who doesn't get regular work who somehow nonetheless affords this lifestyle." It's just pretty obvious something is up right away, so might as well just be honest if she asks questions. I'm not a guy who enjoys lying or playing games, though, I like to be pretty upfront.
Is your dad Donald Trump?
The reason some guys are like that is because they don't need to settle down. Since many women give it up for free and if you can get a hot 20 yr old when you are in your 40s; then why settle down? You don't even need to be "successful" just good game. Another reason is that the guy is probably the nicest person in the world, that he doesn't really talk with the opposite sex. And chances are he doesn't have "friends". So he spends most of his time on work or just alone.
it comes down to him thinking the glass is half empty all the time or he thinks that success comes with monetary gains and is missing out on "human success" that involved emotions like love. i know it sounds corny but it is what it is.
he just needs the right woman to break his hard shell.
he is probably the type of guy who goes home, doesn't watch much tv, reads and enjoys a nice glass of scotch. he has to have an outlet somewhere whether it be weird porn sites or hookers...there has to be something! or he's bound to snap.
Many professional folks don't buy a lot of flashy things to flaunt their wealth. Most invest to prepare for a better future and retirement. The lifestyle status can be due to enjoyment and focus on career (many strive for advancement) or not finding the right person. Nowdays its tough for a guy to realize he may have to forfeit half his earnings/house if a relationship goes south (like 40-50% seem to do). Maybe he hasn't found someone with similar qualities...like attracts like.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What I mean is I've dated a lot of girls, and after a while I started to be like screw it, I don't care, yeah I'm rich, whatever, yeah my dad owns the building your friend lives in, etc. I just made no big deal of it, like I wouldn't specifically mention anything but I wouldn't make it ANY kind of deal at all. I would just be very comfortable with who I was and where I came from, and I found girls got over it too, like they'd see the house the first time and be awe-struck, but then they realized I was just a pretty down-to-earth guy after all, and not looking to "show off" I just didn't care that much, so it was never an issue. I never felt any girl I dated was overly impressed with my material possessions, because I didn't let them become an issue. I just wanted things to be normal and her to like me for who I am, my own goals and ambitions, and my own hobbies and personality. I found that most girls at least didn't appear to care much about that kind of superficial stuff, they really just wanted to get to know me as a person more. I have never encountered a girl so far who I thought was actually gold-digging me or trying to mooch off me. Maybe I've just been lucky.
