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Old 12-30-2008, 02:36 PM
 
9,817 posts, read 19,029,157 times
Reputation: 7541

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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonpieheaven View Post
Don't get the wrong idea...

I am not a needy person that seeks approval for everything. I am a very independent, confident woman that loves life and is very outgoing.

I just find it strange that I need for everyone to like me. It really bothers me if I hear that someone is mad at me or doesnt like me. Why do I care so much?

I will say I am a peacekeeper. I want everyone to be happy and positive.
Dunno. You are kind of contradicting yourself. You say on one hand you are not a needy person that seeks approval yet you need everyone to like you and want everyone to be happy and positive(unrealistic). I would suspect you would be a person that puts on a good show but has some issues going on upstairs.

1. You can't control other people, so stop trying. People are who they are, happy or miserable.
2. Don't let your self image be determined by others. You determine what your self image is.
3. Peacekeeper? There again boundaries. I find it best to let people sort out their own personal issues. Sometimes mediation is helpful, but I find people that always have to interject themselves as a peacekeeper is someone that doesn't understand boundaries and limits.
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Old 12-30-2008, 02:49 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,235,124 times
Reputation: 45820
You know, whether we admit it or not, I think just about every CD poster is an attention junkie. After all, when you come to the site, what's the first thing one typically does? We say, "Oh, look, I got several reputation comments!" And then we go to that page to see what nice things all the fellow posters said about us. Heck, the validation is what's so addictive about this.
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Old 12-30-2008, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,150,048 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
You know, whether we admit it or not, I think just about every CD poster is an attention junkie. After all, when you come to the site, what's the first thing one typically does? We say, "Oh, look, I got several reputation comments!" And then we go to that page to see what nice things all the fellow posters said about us. Heck, the validation is what's so addictive about this.
I don't think so. I've been addicted to forums without such options. As a matter of fact I'm not a fan of them at all. It's a nice way of exchanging a few words with people, but other than that they can be totally worthless and in many cases are not any indication of smarts, helpfulness, or even wit. All it takes is hanging in the community chat all the time and congratulating everybody on his/her birthday, gold star, etc.. I know because I was there for a little while and a few hundreds of my points are due to that. At the time the mods restricted the reps and as a rebel I wanted to take full advantage of giving them away. I still do give a lot of reps, but I don't care anymore if I use them up or not.

Of course, I do appreciate and enjoy the opportunity to banter with like-minded people, but thatís as far as it goes. I donít even want the attention of people I dislike or disrespect because it essentially conveys the message weíre alike.
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Old 12-30-2008, 03:59 PM
 
3,395 posts, read 3,209,232 times
Reputation: 9262
I completely forgot about the whole rep points thing. I rate others' posts positively, but I really never look at mine. I realize that most of my posts are offensive and/or abhorrent to others, so I guess it's obvious I don't care about approval. I spent the first 18 years of my life trying to please my parents. That is over.
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Old 12-30-2008, 04:03 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,542,095 times
Reputation: 8732
Maybe we're all more "attention whores" than "approval addicts." I suppose they are different concepts.
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Old 12-30-2008, 05:29 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,535 posts, read 35,666,891 times
Reputation: 13133
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
You know, whether we admit it or not, I think just about every CD poster is an attention junkie. After all, when you come to the site, what's the first thing one typically does? We say, "Oh, look, I got several reputation comments!" And then we go to that page to see what nice things all the fellow posters said about us. Heck, the validation is what's so addictive about this.
So ........ you do this too?
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Old 12-30-2008, 07:08 PM
Status: "Sit back and watch the show." (set 5 hours ago)
 
1,771 posts, read 2,349,996 times
Reputation: 1509
I LIVE for approval. I had a book called "Why Do I Need You to Love Me in Order for Me to Like Myself?" Yes, positive comments on here make me happy. And one girl insulted me big time last week over something I said on here and I felt so bad. I mean, I think she's an idiot, but I still was hurt that she didn't like what I said! I think Bill Cosby said, "You can't please all of the people all of the time," but I SO want to!

Yes, I had critical parents, and yes, I had a perfect older sibling that was idealized. She still is. I've been spending my whole life trying to get praise from someone. Egad.
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Old 12-30-2008, 08:42 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 862,224 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Dunno. You are kind of contradicting yourself. You say on one hand you are not a needy person that seeks approval yet you need everyone to like you and want everyone to be happy and positive(unrealistic). I would suspect you would be a person that puts on a good show but has some issues going on upstairs.

1. You can't control other people, so stop trying. People are who they are, happy or miserable.
2. Don't let your self image be determined by others. You determine what your self image is.
3. Peacekeeper? There again boundaries. I find it best to let people sort out their own personal issues. Sometimes mediation is helpful, but I find people that always have to interject themselves as a peacekeeper is someone that doesn't understand boundaries and limits.
Thank you.... very good words of advice!!
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Old 12-30-2008, 08:43 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 862,224 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Maybe we're all more "attention whores" than "approval addicts." I suppose they are different concepts.
lol... True! I am a Leo... so that explains alot!
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Old 12-30-2008, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Texas
525 posts, read 808,642 times
Reputation: 310
Quote:
Originally Posted by trustmeiknow View Post
I LIVE for approval. I had a book called "Why Do I Need You to Love Me in Order for Me to Like Myself?" Yes, positive comments on here make me happy. And one girl insulted me big time last week over something I said on here and I felt so bad. I mean, I think she's an idiot, but I still was hurt that she didn't like what I said! I think Bill Cosby said, "You can't please all of the people all of the time," but I SO want to!

Yes, I had critical parents, and yes, I had a perfect older sibling that was idealized. She still is. I've been spending my whole life trying to get praise from someone. Egad.

trust me I know, (TRUST me I Know!) I am a former approval addict/people pleaser... It's a horrible thing to do yourself. Did you ever read that book? I read '' the disease to please " by Dr. Harriet Braiker..
one of the best things that ever happened to me ..
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