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Old 02-03-2009, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,554 posts, read 5,869,517 times
Reputation: 8560

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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
Not everybody is like you and you shouldn't force anybody to do "Work" that isn't in their best interest.

And what do you mean by "work". You keep bringing that word up as if you are an authority on the subject. Objectively what is "work"?

If the OP was so dysfunctional then he would be in and out of drug rehab or jail or terrible relationships.
Wow do you go off in flights of fancy! I never said or thought he was dysfunctional! Whoa! I know for a fact that if you don't work at something - anything - that you want to improve, nothing changes. Hell, this isn't brain surgery. Get a grip, man.

I mean "work" at change so that you have a new perspective.
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Old 02-03-2009, 10:51 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 27,549,460 times
Reputation: 3752
Default Well

you've both helped me immensely so I don't want you two to start arguing (you'll create another bad friendship like I had!). you both said great things to me
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Old 02-03-2009, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,554 posts, read 5,869,517 times
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You're very welcome, rlrl. Thank you for your gracious response. Much luck to you!
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Old 02-04-2009, 05:53 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 27,549,460 times
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Default you know

it's funny because I go for medication(paxil) monitoring with a psychiatrist once a month and one of the issues in my treatment is that the doc feels I'm stuck on trying too hard to be someone I'm not and measure up to someone else's standard rather than my own

i definitely do have issues with people who are phony and put on airs. my mom, though certainly a well meaning and caring mother, is afflicted with that (I call it "suburbanitis" the old "what will the neighbors think" syndrome), my brother used to be like that until he had a child, and oddly, it seems that women who have been attracted to me have also been the phony type (luckily i have been able to see through their charade and never have been attracted to them)

i just never thought that making a goal to become part of the rat race (house, white picket fence, etc) was a good goal to pursue
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Old 02-04-2009, 11:13 AM
 
12,464 posts, read 13,100,747 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl View Post
one of the issues in my treatment is that the doc feels I'm stuck on trying too hard to be someone I'm not and measure up to someone else's standard rather than my own

i definitely do have issues with people who are phony and put on airs. my mom, though certainly a well meaning and caring mother, is afflicted with that (I call it "suburbanitis" the old "what will the neighbors think" syndrome), women who have been attracted to me have also been the phony type (luckily i have been able to see through their charade and never have been attracted to them)
stick with your own sense of honor and ethics
trying to be someone you are not, trying to be someone just to please someone else will make you crazy and will destroy you

you are the authority on what works for you
you know best what for you is Truth, peace of mind, well-being, and integrity for you

i grew up in a family of "intellectrual snobs" married into a family of "social climbers and money grubbers" and i reached a point where i became so emotionally crippled and physically ill that I contracted a terminal illness.

because at heart those values repulse me, what I value are honesty, integrity, kindness, humbleness, a really simple life. I was surrounded by people I did not respect and I was living a lie and it was a conflict that was debilatating

i got out of the marriage, started trusting my own intuition, began living by my own sense of integrity rather than trying to please everyone else and be someone I'm NOT. It saved my life, and today I have peace of mind, excellent health, and a peaceful life.

Best wishes to you. You have freedom. You have choice. Don't let the toxic people drag you down. Be true to yourself. It's your life, nobody else's. And you're worth it.
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Old 02-04-2009, 11:39 AM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,324,376 times
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Good for you; however, what terminal illness do you have?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja View Post
stick with your own sense of honor and ethics
trying to be someone you are not, trying to be someone just to please someone else will make you crazy and will destroy you

you are the authority on what works for you
you know best what for you is Truth, peace of mind, well-being, and integrity for you

i grew up in a family of "intellectrual snobs" married into a family of "social climbers and money grubbers" and i reached a point where i became so emotionally crippled and physically ill that I contracted a terminal illness.

because at heart those values repulse me, what I value are honesty, integrity, kindness, humbleness, a really simple life. I was surrounded by people I did not respect and I was living a lie and it was a conflict that was debilatating

i got out of the marriage, started trusting my own intuition, began living by my own sense of integrity rather than trying to please everyone else and be someone I'm NOT. It saved my life, and today I have peace of mind, excellent health, and a peaceful life.

Best wishes to you. You have freedom. You have choice. Don't let the toxic people drag you down. Be true to yourself. It's your life, nobody else's. And you're worth it.
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 15,970,893 times
Reputation: 10024
Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl View Post
used to complain that everyone is uneducated and ignorant as to what is going on in the world around them (myself included of course), but yet who does he choose to shack up with and marry but a woman with no education beyond high school, she worked in the unemployment office as a clerk when they met, on their honeymoon he told me there was a girl in a bikini hanging out on the landing of the hotel who he wanted to nail and claimed she wanted him to, meanwhile this dude looked like woody allen but without his charm, humor or charisma!!
Was his name JonathanLB????????????????
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:10 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,324,376 times
Reputation: 6944
LOL that was a real good one.

Btw are you Kathy Griffin?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Dan View Post
Was his name JonathanLB????????????????
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:30 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 27,549,460 times
Reputation: 3752
Default No, but

his stepbrother's name was Jonathan!!! He was another "winner" molded along the same lines as the rest of the tribe. Even worse since he was 13 years younger than my friend. I think he had ADD or something but otherwise was really smart. I think the only normal, non-grandiose person in the family was my friend's mom who I recall went thru a bitter divorce from his old man who left her for a younger woman
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Old 02-04-2009, 12:33 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 27,549,460 times
Reputation: 3752
Default dim sum

I mised your great post. So sorry you have a TI. My dad passed away in early 12/2 if it's any consolation. Where do you live?
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