Are we becoming a society of people who prefer to interact online? (passive)
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Efficient time management of relationships? Could just be me, but I will never give up wanting to connect in person. I think the internet can be good for the simple things, such as making sure we are still on for dinner date. But the dinner date itself--person-to-person, eye-to-eye, face-to-face, heart-to-heart--now that's the stuff of reality. I can count on one hand the number of people in my life I have met online who turned to be true friends in real time. These people were rare finds.
Not sure that I would even be trying to "form a bond" with anyone online. I don't think it's even logical to try. I use email/FB to stay in touch with those I already HAVE a bond with.
Maybe not with someone you met online, but with someone you already know from real life. What if you have a friend that you don't see much because you're both busy with work, kids, etc. Then the internet becomes a very convenient tool to keep in touch and updated on what's happening in each other's lives. But then there's less incentive to meet for dinner or drinks, cause you feel like you're already caught up. And just because you have a deep bond doesn't mean it's permanent. The closeness you might feel with a person can't be maintained if you spend less and less time with one another. Think about couples who see less of each other because of work schedules or because one person's always travelling for their job. After a while, those people only feel connected via phone or email. Not suprisingly, they feel the need to spend quality time together. But what bugs me about this modern way of communicating is that while you think you're staying in touch, you're effectively keeping each other at a distance. I have my close friends and I know I wouldn't feel close to them if the bulk of my interaction with them was online.
Maybe not with someone you met online, but with someone you already know from real life. What if you have a friend that you don't see much because you're both busy with work, kids, etc. Then the internet becomes a very convenient tool to keep in touch and updated on what's happening in each other's lives. But then there's less incentive to meet for dinner or drinks, cause you feel like you're already caught up. And just because you have a deep bond doesn't mean it's permanent. The closeness you might feel with a person can't be maintained if you spend less and less time with one another. Think about couples who see less of each other because of work schedules or because one person's always travelling for their job. After a while, those people only feel connected via phone or email. Not suprisingly, they feel the need to spend quality time together. But what bugs me about this modern way of communicating is that while you think you're staying in touch, you're effectively keeping each other at a distance. I have my close friends and I know I wouldn't feel close to them if the bulk of my interaction with them was online.
My point is, I am able to keep in touch MUCH BETTER than before. I can't meet people for dinner that live in another state. But I can share pictures and stories much more often now, so for me, it's a huge boon to my social and family life.
Your examples can happen, but I simply don't use it that way.
It's easier to meet people all over the country and world online, that you might never meet otherwise. The odds of finding people you click with increases, and that has a lot of appeal to people who don't meet those with common interests easily.
I notice that in person, people tend to talk about their everyday life, "who said this" and "who did that". I would rather discuss concepts and opinions and ideas, and people shy away from that in person.
The internet seems to especially draw introverts, who in person may get cut off in speaking since they tend to do so more slowly and thoughtfully, or who want to discuss more in-depth topics besides boring, polite ones like the weather.
I'm not a phone person either, so I do like email a lot for staying in contact with people. I hate having to guess if it is a convenient time for people to talk.
Ultimately, I prefer conversations in person, especially one-on-one. That's always the most satisfying.
It's easier to meet people all over the country and world online, that you might never meet otherwise. The odds of finding people you click with increases, and that has a lot of appeal to people who don't meet those with common interests easily.
I notice that in person, people tend to talk about their everyday life, "who said this" and "who did that". I would rather discuss concepts and opinions and ideas, and people shy away from that in person.
The internet seems to especially draw introverts, who in person may get cut off in speaking since they tend to do so more slowly and thoughtfully, or who want to discuss more in-depth topics besides boring, polite ones like the weather.
I'm not a phone person either, so I do like email a lot for staying in contact with people. I hate having to guess if it is a convenient time for people to talk.
Ultimately, I prefer conversations in person, especially one-on-one. That's always the most satisfying.
This part I agree with. The problem is that while it enables you to "meet" people you might normally run into in your daily life, how often do you meet these people in person? I may become Facebook friends with someone in another state and talk about a subject we both have a strong interest in, like politics. It could be ongoing. But if I never meet them, doesn't that seem a bit sad, in a way?
This part I agree with. The problem is that while it enables you to "meet" people you might normally run into in your daily life, how often do you meet these people in person? I may become Facebook friends with someone in another state and talk about a subject we both have a strong interest in, like politics. It could be ongoing. But if I never meet them, doesn't that seem a bit sad, in a way?
Well, if you really want to meet them, you make an effort.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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For me, it's not as embarrassing or painful when someone ignores your comments online b'c you can't see their faces when they do it, especially when they do it on purpose. Have you ever spoken in a group only to have someone look straight at you and start talking about something else? That's embarrassing. I always feel like I said something really stupid.
This is, of course, a generalization. I have noticed myself that it varies from region to region. Much more prevalent, I think, in huge cities or in extremely rural areas. (E.g. email messages, IM's, texting, etc.)
Still, I have noticed that these days more and more people seem to not place as high a value on face-to-face, person-to-person interaction as people once did. I am only forty-seven, but today I feel like one of those old-timers reminiscing about the past.
What do you think? What gives? Are we too busy for each other? Are we burned out from working long hours? Are we afraid of each other? Are we finding it easier to interact at a distance?
In my own life, I have met some truly wonderful people at work, church, poetry readings/open mics, and online. But most of the folks I've encountered online seem to have every intention of keeping it online.
Again, what do you think? What's your take on this? Your story?
Hey. Don't get me wrong. I like this forum and all. But if your preferred form of form of interaction is having written conversations with disembodied strangers hundreds or even thousands of miles away, then you are the social equivalent of a thalidomide child. I mean, sometimes this is a necessary evil to stay in touch with friends and relatives who live a long distance away but, c'mon, surely you aren't such a misfit that you can't make a few real live friends on your own, right?
Seriously. Honest to God. If you ever get to that point, then turn off the computer and go outside to play.
For me, it's not as embarrassing or painful when someone ignores your comments online b'c you can't see their faces when they do it, especially when they do it on purpose. Have you ever spoken in a group only to have someone look straight at you and start talking about something else? That's embarrassing. I always feel like I said something really stupid.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,998,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Hey. Don't get me wrong. I like this forum and all. But if your preferred form of form of interaction is having written conversations with disembodied strangers hundreds or even thousands of miles away, then you are the social equivalent of a thalidomide child.
Seriously. Honest to God. If you ever get to that point, then turn off the computer and go outside to play.
[clicks shut down and backs slowly away from computer]
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I use email/FB to stay in touch with those I already HAVE a bond with.
