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Old 04-07-2009, 12:10 AM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,301,031 times
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I said I felt really sorry for him and his problems. I don't see that as bullying.....I see that as having pity...hmmmk

Quote:
Originally Posted by bmwguydc View Post
Hmm...I wonder why someone would think that? Could it be because your comment was a tad rude to rlrl? I've read many of rlrl's posts here and in our home forum, and he seems to be a pretty together guy to me, without huge problems as your reply portrayed him, complete with crying icons for effect.

I don't know why you'd say that about anyone, since it's not in the least bit funny to make deprecating remarks about someone's mental health. You don't know rlrl, IRL, nor do I, but if he were someone who might have problems, why is it humorous to make glib comments about them? That really does have a hallmark of a bullying attitude to pick upon someone's differences and make light of it for your own amusement, but I just find it to be pathetic.
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Old 04-07-2009, 12:51 AM
 
Location: The O.C.--Soon, ATL
666 posts, read 1,862,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill1972 View Post
Anybody else bullied?
Sorry, this is long.

I was bullied in 8th and 9th grade, and it was emotionally very painful. I had a great 7th grade year, had a lot of friends in my social group (the "smart" kids), had a couple boyfriends that year, was active in orchestra, choir, volleyball, gymnastics, etc. But there was another girl who had been jealous of me since the 3rd grade because her best friend became my best friend as the years went by. I tried to have all 3 of us be friends but she just couldn't handle it.

I had no idea how much she hated me until six grade camp when I came out of the bathroom in the cabin and she planted her hiking boot between my legs, bruising me for weeks. I sucked up the pain and asked her, "What was that for?!" "Because you're a bit*h" was her answer and she walked out. I didn't tell on her and went on a four mile hike in the snow without allowing her to see that she'd hurt me.

Years later, when I was in 8th grade, she either manufactured some rumor about me, or took advantage of it; I'll never know which. But, basically, it was spread around that I was a s**t (which was laughable, since all I'd done was kiss boys), and overnight, I lost every friend I had, including my best friend. I was devastated that she could just walk away from a six year friendship like that. That she didn't stick up for me. No one would eat lunch with me for the next two years. The girl that hated me had a group of 5 or 6 girls that began to target me daily. Sometimes, it was little things like hitting me in the back with a textbook in a crowd, or trying to push me down the stairs when everyone was changing classes. One time, four of them tried to cut off my hair with scissors in the bathroom. That was the only time I really freaked out because I thought this girl was really going to hurt me with the scissors. But everyday, it was something. And I had constant fear in my stomach every moment I was at school.

My biggest mistake was that I didn't fight back and just beat the ***t out of her. I was raised to turn the other cheek and walk away from a fight. I was trying to be very mature and realize that she was the one with the problem, not me. But even though you tell yourself that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you, only what you think about yourself, the reality is that it does matter. When no one is speaking to you, especially 11 or 12 girls that you've been friends with since the 3rd grade, and no one will even tell you why they won't speak to you, it hurts.

I hoped that these girls would get tired of it, but they never did. In 9th grade, they had formed an "I hate Shania" club and met after school to figure out what more they could do to me. The worst of it was the ringleader also went to my church and lived in my neighborhood so there was no time I was safe from her bullying. I spent most of that two years in my room.

I didn't tell my parents because my dad was very depressed and my mom was focused on getting him better. And I worried they might believe the rumor that started it all and if so, my dad would kill me. I figured it was my problem to deal with so I didn't tell anyone. I think some of the teachers had to know what was happening, but they never said or did anything. When I was in 9th grade, I seriously thought about running away across country, but I didn't want to do that to my parents. I never really felt so alone as I did then.

It never made sense to me why I was picked on. I got good grades but so did a lot of kids I initially hung out with. I was maybe 5-10 pounds overweight because I hadn't really lost my baby fat yet, but I wasn't fat in the way that draws attention. I was a good athlete. I was just your average kid, basically.

Even when I went to high school, I was terrified that it would all start again. I tried to be as invisible as possible, not doing much to draw attention to myself for the next two years. And it did stop, probably because these kids finally grew up a bit. But it affected my self esteem for a long time.

The one good thing that came out of this whole experience is that I would take a bus to other areas of my city to find a place I could walk around without fear of being targeted. This took me to some lower income areas of town. There I saw people from other walks of life, without all the opportunities that I had. It started to dawn on me that there were some people who were often judged to be "different" just based on how they looked, and they had to deal with that every day of their life. They couldn't get on a bus and get away from it, necessarily. This way of thinking made me more open to having friendships and relationships with people from all different backgrounds. It made me less inclined to judge people, and to give others the benefit of the doubt. ...So there is a happy ending in there somewhere.
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Old 04-07-2009, 02:39 AM
 
Location: MI
1,068 posts, read 2,793,809 times
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Bullying really wasn't the way things were done went I went to Jr high and high school. If you had a problem with somebody a fight was set-up. Most of the time it would be held off school grounds in vacant lot or at "the fence". If it was a conflict that demanded immediete attention it would go down in B-wing in between classes. I had a couple draws and a couple wins, never got outright beatup. It was like prison in a way, you had to let it be known your not about be disrespected and the worst thing you could do was not attend your fight once it had been announced and spread around school.
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Old 04-07-2009, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Rockland County New York
2,984 posts, read 5,121,730 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill1972 View Post
I was reading an article today about a teenage boy who committed suicide as a result of brutal bullying in school.

It brought back memories of the bullying I suffered in 7th grade. It was so bad my mom pulled me from school and put me in private school until 10th grade. Nothing my parents did or said to my teachers or the school administrators made any difference.

I was bullied for being your typical gawky 13-year-old adolescent. I wore braces, was pale when all my classmates were tan (I'm fair-skinned and don't tan). And I was taller than most of the boys (only 5"6 then...and only 5'9" now), but at 5'6" at 13, I towered over the boys my same age.

Anyway, I was a strong girl with really loving, solid parents, so I survived my year of torment, and I eventually grew out of my awkwardness and had a great time in high school. But I still feel complete hatred toward the girls who bullied me (only girls, the boys were never cruel), and I have to say that I hope they all grew up to lead horrible lives.

Anybody else bullied?
Jill as a guy I had the same problems. When I was 14 I was 6ft. 3in and skinny like a stick. I got bullied quite often by gangs within the school. My parents sold their house and we moved to a much better neighborhood because things got so bad for me in 9th grade. Still I continued to receive same name calling from the jocks in school. By the time I was 24 I had filled out pretty will and received the attention of single young women rather than fools who had nothing better to do. For the most part we matured slowly and for that reason we were picked on. I bet today you are a very attractive woman.

Last edited by Stac2007; 04-07-2009 at 08:48 AM..
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Old 04-07-2009, 08:54 AM
 
48,891 posts, read 39,370,650 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
huh why are you asking me that???
I'm giving you a hard time because of post #62. Come on artsy, on occasion you like to stir things up a bit and razz people so just teasing you back a bit.
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Old 04-07-2009, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
10,750 posts, read 25,521,951 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I said I felt really sorry for him and his problems. I don't see that as bullying.....I see that as having pity...hmmmk
It may have the appearance of such, but in another thread did you not blast all counseling as useless? So, how is that genuine concern if you are recommending something to someone else in a glib one liner with icons for effect? I apologize if I detected a note of sarcasm that was unintentional.
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Old 04-07-2009, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Chicago, Illinois
3,047 posts, read 7,964,856 times
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geez, i was bullied now and then but nothing seriously long because a fight happened one way or the other. but all guys bully each other all the time. friends do it too. that's what men do, we poke fun at each other and it starts at a young age.
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Old 04-07-2009, 01:26 PM
 
25,165 posts, read 47,301,031 times
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My point is that a lot of counseling is useless and trite.

I accept your apology. Thanks for seeing my point of view.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bmwguydc View Post
It may have the appearance of such, but in another thread did you not blast all counseling as useless? So, how is that genuine concern if you are recommending something to someone else in a glib one liner with icons for effect? I apologize
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Old 04-07-2009, 01:38 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 45,194,930 times
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I was pretty small in middle school, and got to the age where I started getting picked on. My dad said, "You know what? All you need to do is get in one good punch, and they'll leave you alone. Because bullies are really p*ssies who are looking for easy targets."

So, one day, after school, this kid name Benny started in on me, and I actually pulled the "Hey, Benny, how many fingers am I holding up?" trick, and landed a savage haymaker on his nose. I then sat on his chest like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story" and beat the absolute crap out of him--while his friends looked on. I finally got off him and said, "God, you're stupid." Nobody ever picked on me again.
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Old 04-07-2009, 02:37 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
11,019 posts, read 18,104,908 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NVplumber View Post
Lol, I hadn't really thought about the bullying stuff from school for a long time. I had my share of it I guess. Put up with it for quite a spell because I didn't like to fight and just wanted to be left alone. Ignoring the problem made it worse. and I remember very well the day I got fed up and cut er' loose. No more problems after that. I taught my son not to let it go at all. One time of getting shoved around is one to many. Bullys deserve no less than the best whuppin' one can muster up. They disgust me and should be treated like the varmints they are.
Pretty much sums it up.I was picked on some in grade school,I remember 3rd grade 2 kids forcing me to eat crayons in the bathroom.I have always been a mellow dude and just didn't understand why people have to be like that.In 9th grade it came to a head and interestingly enough I stood up for my best friend being razzed by 9 other kids,when I did they turned on me.A hour latter I met the leader in the hall and after that I was expelled from all public schools for a year.

When I was finally allowed back in normal schools as a new kid another kid tried me,I wrapped a chair around him,he never bothered me again.After that high school was mellow,seemed like everyone got along or just left you alone.So yeah,I was picked on and never wanted a confrontation,but sometimes you have to set things straight otherwise they will never stop.
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