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Old 12-27-2010, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Guangzhou, China
9,620 posts, read 12,832,583 times
Reputation: 11169

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I was a calm, quiet, serious kid for the most part, and adults generally seemed to like me. According to my parents (not that they're biased or anything), we had four family friends who decided to have kids based on how me and my parents interacted, and how I interacted with them. I got along OK with other kids but have always been the sort of person who liked to break away and enjoy the solitude at some point. So, I don't think that whether you were a loud/outgoing kid or a quiet/introverted one has anything to do with it.

One thing I have certainly noticed is that Gen-X'ers on down to Gen-Y'ers seem to be less interested in having kids or starting a family than previous generations. I've heard explanations that range from the generally-denigrating "self absorption," to increasing career demands (hell, I've worked 20 of the last 48 hours of my life ), to a variety of other factors. I think it's a complicated issue with no clear answers.

I will say that I have met a few people my age who don't want to have kids for "ethical reasons," but when we've gotten on the topic, it turns out that really they just don't want to have to devote time and attention to kids. I can't really blame them; these are all people who were pushed through their youth to study hard to get into a good school; got into a good higher learning institution and were pushed to devote all their time to endless study to get a good job; now, they have good jobs that demand all their time. They're used to having to get creative and fight hard to get their "me" time in, and so the thought of bringing in another obligation that will take up hours and hours and hours of their already-scarce time is about as unappealing as it gets. For this, I'd blame society a hell of a lot more than I'd "blame" the individual, and again, I don't see the point in "blaming" someone for choosing not to have a child as it's a personal choice.

I have nothing against someone who decides they don't want children. Many of these people have problems when people get on their case about their choice not to have them. I, conversely, generally don't have a problem with these people until my preference to somehow have children is somehow interpreted as my being stupid, narcissisistic, conservative, religious, old-fashioned, etc. It's the people who seem to think that they have just made themselves a cut above everyone else in society by deciding that they don't want to reprodouce who grate on me.

 
Old 12-28-2010, 02:27 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,552 posts, read 50,819,831 times
Reputation: 60591
Quote:
Originally Posted by jay_jay26 View Post
This is the kind of people I can't stand; people that expect everyone to be the way the want them to be. We're all different; we cannot be the same.



I was a bratty, rowdy kid who was also a genius; I always picked on her kind. They bored me.
That wasn't quite it. It's the type of people who don't think rules apply to them that she has issues with, not types of people who are different from her. Her best friend is a very different person than she is--they have their creativity in common. She could be a little more relaxed about other people's behavior, and she knows that, but it's got zero to do with people who are genuinely "different", not the ones just acting up because they think it makes them look cool or because they are seeking attention.
 
Old 12-28-2010, 02:34 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,552 posts, read 50,819,831 times
Reputation: 60591
Quote:
Originally Posted by 415_s2k View Post
I was a calm, quiet, serious kid for the most part, and adults generally seemed to like me. According to my parents (not that they're biased or anything), we had four family friends who decided to have kids based on how me and my parents interacted, and how I interacted with them. I got along OK with other kids but have always been the sort of person who liked to break away and enjoy the solitude at some point. So, I don't think that whether you were a loud/outgoing kid or a quiet/introverted one has anything to do with it.

One thing I have certainly noticed is that Gen-X'ers on down to Gen-Y'ers seem to be less interested in having kids or starting a family than previous generations. I've heard explanations that range from the generally-denigrating "self absorption," to increasing career demands (hell, I've worked 20 of the last 48 hours of my life ), to a variety of other factors. I think it's a complicated issue with no clear answers.

I will say that I have met a few people my age who don't want to have kids for "ethical reasons," but when we've gotten on the topic, it turns out that really they just don't want to have to devote time and attention to kids. I can't really blame them; these are all people who were pushed through their youth to study hard to get into a good school; got into a good higher learning institution and were pushed to devote all their time to endless study to get a good job; now, they have good jobs that demand all their time. They're used to having to get creative and fight hard to get their "me" time in, and so the thought of bringing in another obligation that will take up hours and hours and hours of their already-scarce time is about as unappealing as it gets. For this, I'd blame society a hell of a lot more than I'd "blame" the individual, and again, I don't see the point in "blaming" someone for choosing not to have a child as it's a personal choice.

I have nothing against someone who decides they don't want children. Many of these people have problems when people get on their case about their choice not to have them. I, conversely, generally don't have a problem with these people until my preference to somehow have children is somehow interpreted as my being stupid, narcissisistic, conservative, religious, old-fashioned, etc. It's the people who seem to think that they have just made themselves a cut above everyone else in society by deciding that they don't want to reprodouce who grate on me.
Well said. I don't get why someone would automatically call another person "selfish" because they don't want kids, but on the other hand, I've known people who don't want children who make it a point to sneer at people who do have kids. I used to work in an office at a time when a few of us there had young kids, and naturally we would talk about things our kids did, good or bad. There was one woman there, married but childless by choice, who never missed an opportunity to proclaim "THIS is why I don't want to have kids" whenever someone mentioned some difficulty they were having with their child. It got tiresome after a while.
 
Old 12-28-2010, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Dallas
1,004 posts, read 483,160 times
Reputation: 1226
I'll add a bit more here; many of us take a more logical, fiscal approach when making the decision to not have kids. Consider how turbulent the economy has been as of late. Bringing a child in under the conditions can spell disaster for the child and your spousal relationship should you fall victim to an ailing economy. Also consider that children being brought up in this generation are the "ninja" class generation. No true economic future, born into debt and ever increasing higher education. I've only being professionally in the workforce for 5 years but I'm already worried about retirement and paying into the sham that is social security (this is with a very well paying job). Adding a child into this mix is not my idea of being "happy".
 
Old 12-28-2010, 06:59 AM
 
20,979 posts, read 15,665,695 times
Reputation: 10270
Not at all.

I like well behaved, polite children. Like my own (although they are no longer children). Everybody loved my kids.

I think it is normal to dislike loud, obnoxious, mean kids.

I have often asked for a different table at a restaurant due to unruly, rude kids. I've also changed seats in movie theaters.

Parents are to blame, but I don't need to be annoyed by obnoxious, rude children.
 
Old 12-28-2010, 09:43 AM
 
10,452 posts, read 10,258,530 times
Reputation: 12496
Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
Not at all.

I like well behaved, polite children. Like my own (although they are no longer children). Everybody loved my kids.

I think it is normal to dislike loud, obnoxious, mean kids.

I have often asked for a different table at a restaurant due to unruly, rude kids. I've also changed seats in movie theaters.

Parents are to blame, but I don't need to be annoyed by obnoxious, rude children.
I don't think this is about kids. Rude, obnoxious people are annoying to be around. Polite, kind people are nice to be around. This applies regardless of age. It's not a kid thing because it applies to adults. People who hate kids because they are loud and obnoxious are probably misplacing their frustration because it's the behavior that's annoying, not the person's age. I'm sure the same people hate when adults are loud and obnoxious too.
 
Old 12-28-2010, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Cincinnati
3,335 posts, read 5,744,434 times
Reputation: 2058
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
That could be true in some instances, but then again, children generally don't sh** all over your lawn, either.
and are far less annoying to your neighbors
 
Old 12-28-2010, 02:11 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
16,530 posts, read 33,524,071 times
Reputation: 15271
Quote:
Originally Posted by nimchimpsky View Post
I don't think this is about kids. Rude, obnoxious people are annoying to be around. Polite, kind people are nice to be around. This applies regardless of age. It's not a kid thing because it applies to adults. People who hate kids because they are loud and obnoxious are probably misplacing their frustration because it's the behavior that's annoying, not the person's age. I'm sure the same people hate when adults are loud and obnoxious too.
Actually, obnoxious and ill behaved children are more frustrating to have around than obnoxious and ill behaved adults. At least with adults, one can confront them directly and try to reason with them. With children, one has to try to reason with their parents, and usually most parents have the attitude that the rest of society has to accept their children's bad behaviour as if its our collective burden and blessing to share.

I think that there are way too many people on this planet and no way have I ever asked others to have children for the good of our society. Again, children are not a rare or precious commodity.
 
Old 12-28-2010, 02:13 PM
 
Location: The Big Orange (CA)
1,809 posts, read 3,027,414 times
Reputation: 1974
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Actually, obnoxious and ill behaved children are more frustrating to have around than obnoxious and ill behaved adults. At least with adults, one can confront them directly and try to reason with them. With children, one has to try to reason with their parents, and usually most parents have the attitude that the rest of society has to accept their children's bad behaviour as if its our collective burden and blessing to share.

I think that there are way too many people on this planet and no way have I ever asked others to have children for the good of our society. Again, children are not a rare or precious commodity.
 
Old 12-28-2010, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Guangzhou, China
9,620 posts, read 12,832,583 times
Reputation: 11169
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
Actually, obnoxious and ill behaved children are more frustrating to have around than obnoxious and ill behaved adults. At least with adults, one can confront them directly and try to reason with them. With children, one has to try to reason with their parents, and usually most parents have the attitude that the rest of society has to accept their children's bad behaviour as if its our collective burden and blessing to share.
"Hey there, let's use our inside voices!"

Or just take it up with the parent. There's no harm in that. If they aren't receptive to this, it sucks, but it's no different than when you get cut off by some jerk in traffic. Just accept it and move on.

Quote:
I think that there are way too many people on this planet and no way have I ever asked others to have children for the good of our society. Again, children are not a rare or precious commodity.
And no one here asked to be born either, but once they're here I feel that they should be afforded a degree of respect. Whether or not you or anyone else decides not to have children makes no more difference than someone deciding to have one does: I don't foresee people in China or India deciding that they're going to be adherents to depopulation ethos any time soon.
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