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Old 06-05-2011, 05:37 PM
 
Location: syracuse ny
2,412 posts, read 4,389,330 times
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People change all the time. Many of us swear a blood oath to not become our fathers and mothers, and most of us do. Whether we admit it or not.
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Old 06-05-2011, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 18,850,303 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Cat View Post
Have any of you have modified the way you behave, the way you act or the way you talk or approach life?
I have.

Well, actually, it was changed FOR me...

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Old 06-05-2011, 06:55 PM
 
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No. Major changes are not possible for most people in most situations. Minor ones are possible with alot of work.
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Old 06-05-2011, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Middle America
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Behavior can change, and does, if there is sufficient reinforcement for the change. Basic characteristics/personality traits don't, really.
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Old 06-05-2011, 07:11 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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Ah, this I wonder whenever I hear "The Cave".

I think it's really a matter of what ways you refer to. Self destructive ways can be changed with will power and help. Some things are more inherent in your nature, personality for example. Those things are, in my opinion, very difficult to change.
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Old 06-06-2011, 02:24 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,869 posts, read 13,844,225 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Cat View Post
I mean, when you already are set on your ways that define the person you actually are, can you change that and become a totally different person in order to make your SO happy?
Have any of you have modified the way you behave, the way you act or the way you talk or approach life?
Up until my 30's, I was a pleaser and would have made changes that were expected of me. I was never my own person, but one half of a couple. I didn't know what I really stood for. With time and self examination, I became solid with myself. I've reached a place where I don't feel I need to change anything. I'm not perfect, but I am the best I have ever been.
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Old 06-06-2011, 08:07 AM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,767 posts, read 2,190,333 times
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I have extensively changed or modified my core belief at least three times in my life, completely ejecting outdated or wrong philosophical, political and social viewpoints. Physically, I am the same person, but inside there has been huge, earth shattering development.

So, absolutely. People can change.

Another exampe is John Lennon. He was a bit of a tough guy when younger. Very different than the kind, peace loving person he became.
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Old 06-06-2011, 08:21 AM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,767 posts, read 2,190,333 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
I have.

Well, actually, it was changed FOR me...
I see you received the less server treatment.

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Old 06-06-2011, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,371 posts, read 17,488,660 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Behavior can change, and does, if there is sufficient reinforcement for the change. Basic characteristics/personality traits don't, really.
I tend to agree with this, going back to the "tiger can't change it's stripes" line of thinking. In rare cases people can change who they are at the core, with a lot of self awareness and effort it can happen. But often people tend to change their behaviors, that doesn't mean they've changed who they are at the core. It also depends on their motives for change. Is is a true change or are they claiming to have changed in order to win someone over or deceive people? I tread carefully around people who claim to have changed. It's more convincing when I can see it for myself after they've been put to the test a time or two.
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Old 06-06-2011, 11:45 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 4,237,546 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Cat View Post
I mean, when you already are set on your ways that define the person you actually are, can you change that and become a totally different person in order to make your SO happy?
Have any of you have modified the way you behave, the way you act or the way you talk or approach life?

I had a conversation similiar to this post last nite my boyfriend, he asked me why Im so confident and happy in my life.
I told him because its all about me, I do whats going to make me happy, not my kids, my parents, nor my friends..or anyone else.
If I do whats best for me, then I turn around and do whats best for everyone else I love.
My own personal happiness is what keeps my life in balance.
I told him when you are happy, you try and make others happy too.
If you aren't happy then how can you make anyone else happy?
So he understood when I said its all about me.
He knows it a personal thing within myself .
So now he said its all about him.
I think that is great.
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