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Old 06-14-2012, 09:17 PM
 
Location: Out West
20,608 posts, read 15,424,228 times
Reputation: 24165

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
Something else a lot of people, especially most alcoholics, don't get is the concept of functional alcoholism. It becomes a normal part of their lives and they function perfectly well and enjoy it. I'm sure this makes 12 steppers very jealous and upset, as well as those who have moral issues with alcohol consumption. I think this is more of an American attitude.

Pop psych - hug your inner child.
Functioning alcoholic...I'm not so sure they enjoy it. I used to work with a bunch of raging alcoholics and enjoy is about the last thing they did.

One of them was "functioning" but continually missed days of work because she would rather go out and drink, on her airboat with all her alcoholic friends. She did not enjoy the flak she got when she would come back to work the next day. But she continued to do it, KNOWING full well, the hell she was going to pay because her missing work made others have to work on their days off. It was a massive problem, she did it so often.

Another...man, I've never seen an alcoholic like this one: One mile down the road was a shop where they could get beer, (from where we worked). Work day was over, I happened to be driving behind him and watched as he swilled down three beers, threw them out his window and in to the back of his pick up all before we got to that store, one MILE down the road. Where, yes, he stopped to buy MORE alcohol.

He certainly didn't enjoy it, it was a necessity at that point. For him to just stop drinking would or could have been fatal. DTs, they are called. He would have to seek serious treatment for his alcoholism and he will, indeed, forever be an alcoholic, even if he were to ever be a "recovering" one.

He did not enjoy being an alcoholic, functioning though he was.
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Old 06-15-2012, 08:11 AM
 
Location: North Texas
23,599 posts, read 31,143,716 times
Reputation: 26661
Describing snarky, b*tchy, two-faced women as being 'passive aggressive'.

That's not what passive aggressive means.
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Old 06-15-2012, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,687 posts, read 3,922,877 times
Reputation: 6122
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113 View Post
  1. Most people don't say this.
  2. Who is anyone else to decide whether a person should or shouldn't need a therapist besides themselves? Some people have no direction, guidance or confidence. So guess what they need therapy less you leave them high and dry and they end up killing themselves. The thing I always ask of the anti-therapy crowd is how is some other person's attending therapy effects you?
Everyone in my familys says this when they get angry. I'll say to my older sister, hey, I really don't like when you interupt everything I say, and then say "what" because you didn't hear me over your rambling. Oh ShellNic, she'll say, you're so ANGRY and you need THERAPY. Forget that she's projecting and deflecting ...

Or a parent says, I really am disappointed with you for staying with your husband but hey, it's YOUR life. So I say, hey, I really think you're being insulting and not looking at the bigger picture. So they say, um, you're so ANGRY and you need THERAPY.

Guess what? I get angry b/c they're being passive about their real feelings, they're projecting their insurities onto me and I've never met anyone who needed to just "get over it" more than those two.

Now, most people you work with or see day to day may not say it to your face, but how many times have you heard that someone needs to double their dosage? I hear it all the time...

Hmmmm....do I need therapy now? Honestly, I tried it once and I cried the whole time thinking, why do I feel like I have such a crappy life? Since then, I've determined which things effect and why and then try to make decisions that are smarter than the old habits...it's a life lesson...not perfect yet...hehe
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Old 06-15-2012, 07:46 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
102 posts, read 271,558 times
Reputation: 221
"Conduct Disorder" a DSM-IV diagnosis, if you can believe it. Here's what they have to say about the disorder, "A repetitive and persistent pattern of behavior in which the basic rights of others or major age-appropriate societal norms or rules are violated, as manifested by the presence of three (or more) of the following criteria in the past 12 months, with at least one criterion present in the past 6 months:
Aggression to people and animals
(1) often bullies, threatens, or intimidates others
(2) often initiates physical fights
(3) has used a weapon that can cause serious physical harm to others (e.g., abat, brick, broken bottle, knife, gun)
(4) has been physically cruel to people
(5) has been physically cruel to animals
(6) has stolen while confronting a victim (e.g., mugging, purse snatching, extortion, armed robbery)
(7) has forced someone into sexual activity
Destruction of property
(8) has deliberately engaged in fire setting with the intention of causing serious damage
(9) has deliberately destroyed others' property (other than by fire setting)
Deceitfulness or theft
(10) has broken into someone else's house, building, or car
(11) often lies to obtain goods or favors or to avoid obligations (i.e., "cons" others)
(12) has stolen items of nontrivial value without confronting a victim (e.g., shoplifting, but without breaking and entering; forgery)
Serious violations of rules
(13) often stays out at night despite parental prohibitions, beginning before age 13 years
(14) has run away from home overnight at least twice while living in parental or parental surrogate home (or once without returning for a lengthy period)
(15) is often truant from school, beginning before age 13 years

(behavenet.com)."

Really, a lot of this just sounds like bad behavior to me.
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Old 06-16-2012, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Tacoma, WA
223 posts, read 229,809 times
Reputation: 325
I won't call it a pop psychology term, but I hate the overuse of the word "rude". Working in customer service for 20 years, I have been accused of being rude as well as have coworkers. There is no doubt there are customer service workers who have been and will be rude. Unfortunately, there are a lot out there who think the worker is being rude if said worker doesn't tell them what they want to hear, doesn't make an exception for them because of their "unique" situation, has a flat affect, doesn't smile like some lackwit Disney character. It is not the job of the customer service worker to make the consumer or citizen feel good about himself or herself, change his or her crappy life situation or to make exceptions. My sign in name is a joke based on that many citizens have this idea that all government workers are rude, (oh, and lazy, have cushy jobs, are overpaid, and somehow manage to collect a pension for twice as long as they actually worked).
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Old 06-16-2012, 06:00 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,222 posts, read 50,499,962 times
Reputation: 60101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
Functioning alcoholic...I'm not so sure they enjoy it. I used to work with a bunch of raging alcoholics and enjoy is about the last thing they did.

One of them was "functioning" but continually missed days of work because she would rather go out and drink, on her airboat with all her alcoholic friends. She did not enjoy the flak she got when she would come back to work the next day. But she continued to do it, KNOWING full well, the hell she was going to pay because her missing work made others have to work on their days off. It was a massive problem, she did it so often.

Another...man, I've never seen an alcoholic like this one: One mile down the road was a shop where they could get beer, (from where we worked). Work day was over, I happened to be driving behind him and watched as he swilled down three beers, threw them out his window and in to the back of his pick up all before we got to that store, one MILE down the road. Where, yes, he stopped to buy MORE alcohol.

He certainly didn't enjoy it, it was a necessity at that point. For him to just stop drinking would or could have been fatal. DTs, they are called. He would have to seek serious treatment for his alcoholism and he will, indeed, forever be an alcoholic, even if he were to ever be a "recovering" one.

He did not enjoy being an alcoholic, functioning though he was.
My friend cannot stop drinking or she will have a seizure. She is way past functioning, though. If she's still alive. Last heard from her when she left a message on my voicemail in December saying she was back in the program and wanted to make her amends to me. I could tell she was drunk. I didn't return the call.
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Old 06-16-2012, 06:04 PM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,222 posts, read 50,499,962 times
Reputation: 60101
It annoys me when people say, "She is OCD." You can't BE OCD, you can HAVE OCD.
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Old 06-16-2012, 10:08 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,518,778 times
Reputation: 8732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
It annoys me when people say, "She is OCD." You can't BE OCD, you can HAVE OCD.
True. There's also a demarcation between an OC personality and an OCD, though I don't know the gradation.

Kind of sounds like the expression I heard as a kid that was idiotic: "He (or she) is good people."

The term I've actually come to like is "boundaries." For the longest time, there was no single word in popular use to describe crossing the line.
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Old 06-17-2012, 07:27 AM
 
Location: right here
4,119 posts, read 4,593,903 times
Reputation: 4833
Honestly mine was Post Tramatic Stress Disorder..when I worked in counseling, I heard it all the time. "Oh I have PTSD and this is why I molest people." Yes, it's a real disorder but I heard it so much I started to hate it.

Also passive aggressive-no she is just a b&^ch..
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Old 06-17-2012, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
3,616 posts, read 3,883,295 times
Reputation: 4175
Quote:
Originally Posted by DontH8Me View Post
"How's that working for you?"

Dr. Phil McGraw - quack extraordinaire
YES!!!! I agree!!!
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