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Old 03-11-2017, 08:56 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,496 posts, read 22,741,215 times
Reputation: 45243

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
Tell your gender to quit thinking with your small head when you make that decision to get married to that specific person and then have children with them.
This, and even in today's marriages, many men still leave the lion's share of childcare to their wives. So when the marriage splits you've got one parent who knows very little about caring for their own children. Most divorces don't go to court, so if men really want custody, they need to be active, involved parents from the first, and to advocate for their own rights and not sign any paperwork that a lawyer puts in front of them that signs those rights away.
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Old 03-11-2017, 10:17 AM
 
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río Porciúncula
13,671 posts, read 14,091,800 times
Reputation: 9754
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
This, and even in today's marriages, many men still leave the lion's share of childcare to their wives. So when the marriage splits you've got one parent who knows very little about caring for their own children. Most divorces don't go to court, so if men really want custody, they need to be active, involved parents from the first, and to advocate for their own rights and not sign any paperwork that a lawyer puts in front of them that signs those rights away.
If you married the right man he would want to take an active role in raising his children. If he doesn't, you married the wrong man.
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Old 03-11-2017, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,496 posts, read 22,741,215 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
If you married the right man he would want to take an active role in raising his children. If he doesn't, you married the wrong man.
Well, yeah, but what Texan2008 is referring to and MGOTWs believe is that in a divorce awful women want keep good guys away from their own children, when in reality many times the men don't advocate for themselves. Often it's more nuanced, and decisions are made for the good of the kids, not necessarily to screw over the ex.

To take it back to the thread topic, there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying being single, but too many people like to believe these urban legends that a bad marriage or an acrimonious divorce is something that just happens without both people's input or isn't a result of ignoring red flags.
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Old 03-11-2017, 10:48 AM
 
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles del Río Porciúncula
13,671 posts, read 14,091,800 times
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If a man has been a good father to his children and has not abused his family in any way then I see no reason why he would not be able to continue his participation in his children's lives after a divorce.

But my point is that if anybody married the wrong person then the original flaw lies in picking a bad partner for the wrong reasons.
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Old 03-11-2017, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,024 posts, read 1,264,842 times
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In a nutshell...

Men, don't marry the first woman who says yes to sex. That's how she gets her foot in the door, then causes problems later.

Women, don't marry the first man who excites your emotions. That's how he gets his foot in the door, then causes problems later.

That is all.
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Old 03-12-2017, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
27,647 posts, read 17,699,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
Tell your gender to quit thinking with your small head when you make that decision to get married to that specific person and then have children with them.

This.^^^^^

xmillion
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Old 03-12-2017, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,754 posts, read 3,369,761 times
Reputation: 4619
Default ......

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
His and her houses, on different continents.
Actually already do ...... it is still no solution.
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Old 03-12-2017, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,754 posts, read 3,369,761 times
Reputation: 4619
Default ........

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
This.^^^^^

xmillion
These comments just show neither of you get it. People change...you dont always know until after it is too late.

This comment is just as diluted as suggesting someone should know they would get hit with a bus when trying cross the street.

My what sheltered cookie cutter perfect existinces some peoole must have to asume nothing or anyone could ever change.
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Old 03-12-2017, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,754 posts, read 3,369,761 times
Reputation: 4619
Default ......

Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Well, yeah, but what Texan2008 is referring to and MGOTWs believe is that in a divorce awful women want keep good guys away from their own children, when in reality many times the men don't advocate for themselves. Often it's more nuanced, and decisions are made for the good of the kids, not necessarily to screw over the ex.

To take it back to the thread topic, there's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying being single, but too many people like to believe these urban legends that a bad marriage or an acrimonious divorce is something that just happens without both people's input or isn't a result of ignoring red flags.
Each situation is different. Why just make wild generalizatiins about this stuff?
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Old 03-12-2017, 06:06 PM
 
Location: equator
2,629 posts, read 1,123,216 times
Reputation: 6404
Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks View Post
Each situation is different. Why just make wild generalizatiins about this stuff?

Exactly. And what you look for in a partner can change in different phases of your life.
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