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Old 02-28-2010, 04:16 AM
 
25,947 posts, read 25,905,924 times
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This was just in the news this morning; Marie Osmond's son kills self in jump from building - Yahoo! News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100228/music_nm/us_osmond - broken link)
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Old 02-28-2010, 11:12 AM
 
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Ok, I have a link that ANYBODY going through depression, or anybody dealing with the depression of a loved one MUST read...

A method to the madness? Something to celebrate in depression?

From the NY TImes, 2-25-10
Jonah Leher ... Depression's Upside

Depression’s Upside - NYTimes.com
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Old 02-28-2010, 11:25 AM
 
383 posts, read 669,517 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
This was just in the news this morning; Marie Osmond's son kills self in jump from building - Yahoo! News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100228/music_nm/us_osmond - broken link)
At least he's better than us now.
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Old 02-28-2010, 01:31 PM
 
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I know how he felt.
Love isn't always enough to keep someone alive or to get them to want to live.
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Old 02-28-2010, 01:35 PM
 
Location: So Cal
38,785 posts, read 37,987,002 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
This was just in the news this morning; Marie Osmond's son kills self in jump from building - Yahoo! News (http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100228/music_nm/us_osmond - broken link)
WTF is going on. I'm hearing more and more stories of people committing suicide.

What a grisly way to go.....
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Old 02-28-2010, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
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Most of the time when people kill themselves, they've decided that no one cares if they live or not. If you want to save a life, let the people in your life know they matter, they are important in your life and that they will be missed if they leave. That's how my sister saved me.
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Old 02-28-2010, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Portlandia "burbs"
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My ex committed suicide 26 years ago, and I believe it's something genetic. He'd been suicidal since before I'd even met him, although he never entertained the thought while he were married (that I know of). When he made the final decision, he was determined to go through with it.

There were other problems with him, though, which didn't help, and in due time "life" caught up to him. Most suicidals really don't want to die, they want something to change. But he didn't know how to help himself, he dug himself a huge hole, and I still strongly believe that if he hadn't made that fatal choice, he would either be in prison or murdered.

But I have never felt blame or guilt.
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Old 03-01-2010, 05:34 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,036 posts, read 21,540,018 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
Most of the time when people kill themselves, they've decided that no one cares if they live or not. If you want to save a life, let the people in your life know they matter, they are important in your life and that they will be missed if they leave. That's how my sister saved me.
I can't speak for everyone who entertains suicidal thoughts but when I reach that level of a low it is usually not ( in my case) simply because I don't think nobody cares about me ( though logic usually flies out of the window with a lot of extreme depressive states and even the most loving assurances from loved ones can simply become words and lose all meaning).

For me it is a set of very complex issues , some relating to my health and physical pain , lack of a quality of life I want , despair not only at my situation but the world . I look around and all I see is war, famine and poverty, greed and selfishness and it genuinely takes me down into a downward spiral of "what the hell is the point of being alive anyway if we all treat each other like barbarians? ".


This forum for example has a way to drag me down, and down and I have had to learn and avoid the Politics and Religion forum because my head would simply explode. It might sound silly but I look at the venom and hatred people spew and I think we might all as well be dead if that is the best we can do as human beings. I can't say I would be heartbroken if the human specie died out. the Planet and rest of the Animal Kingdom would do a lot better without us.




I grieve for my old self, healthy , fit, slim always on the move, academically brilliant and with a great future ahead of me, I lack self confidence, I hate myself and feel guilty for feeling like that when others are so much worse off than I am... etc.. so , so many layers of hopelessness and self hatred, of being disappointed with myself of course but also with society and the world at large. I am also a great cynic and pessimist which coupled with idealism makes for a really , realy explosive mix emotionally speaking.

I look at my life and think what it could/should have been but also look at society and know we are heading for the rocks , most of us completely oblivious and unwilling to do something about it. I over-analyse everything and I can't remember the last time I felt relaxed because millions of thoughts come to mind, unbidded and exhaust me mentally.

My brain is like a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings and emotions. If I buy something I think whether someone somewhere has been exploited because of it, if I watch a film I wonder what good the millions paid to some Hollywood movie star could have done to relieve suffering somewhere else. It is a relentless and utterly exhausting way to deal with life. I genuinely try my best as human being, I try to be the best consumer I can be, I try to help with charities, I try to be as good and decent a human being as I can but at the end of the day it is all simply pointless.


Call it an existentialist crisis but I just can't deal with all the issues the world is throwing at us.

Every little action , every little pleasure always compromised by what is behind it.

I wonder about the futility of life, and ponder about the sheer cruelty of the human mind.

I have a wonderful and loving husband whom I adore and to this day I believe I have not killed myself because it would hurt him too much. But then I have obviously not reached the bottom quite yet... because when you reach the bottom of the Abyss I suspect my feelings of guilt towards him would simply evaporate and all I could see would be an exit and the sweet relief of death.


Being told you are loved IS IMPORTANT and CRUCIAL and can mean the difference between life and death but there are for so many of us so many more complex and let's face it solution-less issues at play. I am depressed on so many levels that even if I managed to cope with one layer the others would get me...

So I just have to learn and live with it.


I apologise if this rant is somewhat depressing for those of you with a healthy mind and sunny disposition but I guess I want people to understand what it feels like to be someone who has deep and chronic depression.
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Old 03-01-2010, 09:33 AM
 
11,414 posts, read 12,685,157 times
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Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
As someone who has suffer from depression I can tell you in no uncertain terms, being told to "hang in there" makes it 1000 times worse. And having people get annoyed and unwilling to listen/help makes it 1,000 times worse.

People always say "I'm so surprised s/he died" And then the stories about how this person desperately reached out only to be ignored come out. Everyone is ALWAYS "too busy" with their own lives. Yes, it can be grating when a person can't shake the depression and may to go over the same thing over and over again, so when you decide you can't listen anymore remember that depression doesn't have a "go away"/"get over it" timeline and if you won't/can't be there, find someone who can.

I get so sick of people saying "I wish I had listened" at a funeral or when the person is dead. It wasn't important then, it's not important when they are gone.

And to those who think a pill is the magic cure-all: a pill doesn't change the circumstances, it only put a person in a drugged up haze that mimicks the problem being gone. If your depression stems from losing a loved one (to death or a break-up), a pill doesn't bring that person back, a pill won't resolve your financial problems or any other thing.

If you really care about your friends who are going through hell, be there for them. Help them come up with ways to cope ON THEIR TIMEFRAME and WITHIN THEIR VALUE SYSTEM. Too many times people decide on a course of action without taking the person into account. What if your friend isn't comfortable in a bar? How effective is meeting someone new in a bar going to be? If they just had their heart broken, a new person a month later isn't going to help, when it doesn't work out, you've just compounded the problem and confirmed that this person isn't relationship material.

I'm sorry but this thread subject hits every angry button I have. If you don't help because it's too inconvenient, don't whine about how much you cared when it's over.
Sorry.

I too deal with depression.

I take medication to help. I think if you find a good pill...this may mean taking a couple different kinds...it may work for you.

I talked to a guy Saturday who is dealing with anxiety and wanted to know what pills I have. I think it depends on the individual.

Someone touched on this...the world is hard to deal with. Having depression or anxiety on top of that makes it worse.

I agree with the point that you cannot reason with someone that has a problem. You can't.

I had a major panic attack while away on a trip. I was away from my family. What triggered it? It rained the entire time I was there. A whole week. It put me in this dark confined spot. I was a mess. I felt dizzy and sick. I forgot to eat and about 5 hours without food I felt I was going to pass out.

After that trip I was determined to find something to help me. I couldn't get back right. My doctor got me on meds. It's been a real help not only with the anxieties but being able to deal with my spouse. She too has alot of issues and it's always put a strain on my heart.

I wish all that feel bored, lonely or just lack the energy to do things to get checked out. There are alot of things you can do to help yourself. Don't feel there isn't anything wrong with you.

Obviously, you wouldn't drag a broken leg around making excuses there isn't anything wrong.
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Old 03-01-2010, 09:37 AM
 
11,414 posts, read 12,685,157 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
Most of the time when people kill themselves, they've decided that no one cares if they live or not. If you want to save a life, let the people in your life know they matter, they are important in your life and that they will be missed if they leave. That's how my sister saved me.
Exactly.

I have a cell phone and it never rings.

I have friends that don't call.

People that have depression need to be with people.

Sometimes I get depressed that no one calls. It's like no one cares.
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