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I know this is insane but I simply can't help myself. I'm a real animal lover (people too) & am very sensitive in that regard. I had inherited a small tank of fishies from a friend who was moving out of the country to work for the Peace Corp.
I soon fell in love & went from that 10 gallon tank to two 20 gallon tanks. I get free fish (usually, but sometimes I purchase them) because I ask for the "disabled" ones that no one wants (usually an eye or fin missing) & they consider it a "pet adoption" - works for me because they are what I prefer & it works with my limited income.
I name all my fish & talk to them too. When I have a little extra money I may buy them a small treat. I name them after people whom I admire. My first fish to die was "Steven Biko" (this after forgetting to feed them for a day or two) & I cried & cried (and cried). I felt terrible that I may have been the cause of his death & that he was dead & being eaten by the other fish. Well, then I noticed that two other fishies were MISSING from the tank - MISSING. I have an enclosed tank so the cats or dog couldn't have chowed. Where'd they go? Who ate them? OMG...
Anyhow. I then had some tank problems & had PAC the shark (as in TuPAC), Walter the algae eater (okay, he was just walter - it suited him), Brittany & Sam (named after my son & daughter in law because they insisted - WON'T do that again), Mandela (as in Nelson), & Khalilia (as in Gibran Khalil Gibran) all die within a short period of the other until I was able to fix the problem. I saved Einstein from a certain death at that point & that's been nearly a year ago.
Since living here, I bought my grandson 2 fishies as the only thing that seems to calm him & stop the hysterical crying is staring at the fishies in the tank (honestly, it's like a strange miracle). They are Jesus (although I pronounce it Hey Suess) & Magdalene (as in Mary). Magdalene got sick, I nursed her back to health & she died a couple weeks after that.
Einstein was my grandson's favourite. He was the biggest & brightest in the tank & Andre (my grandson) would follow him with his eyes as he swam around the tank. He laughed when Einstein would open his big mouth & suction all the stuff at the bottom of the tank.
I forgot to feed the fish last night. Today my son was moving his stuff out of the apartment & all of a sudden I remember that I had forgotten to feed them last night. I looked over & there was no Einstein! I panicked. I found him curled in half - nearly - in the bottom of the tank! I was in horror. My son's friend said that she saw that he was still breathing. So, I reached my hand in to see if he'd start swimming. He allowed me to "lift" him up in the water. I do hand feed him often. But, he always swims away when I try to "pet" him. He seemed to do better while I led him gently & swam him around the tank. I hand fed him & he ate (he proceeded to puke it back up). I did everything. I put stress drops in the tank.
I intended to just occasionally give him a bit more food & see how it went. But, I kept watching & wondering how much a fish can suffer & if they suffer - if it hurts. I can't stand it. I can't stand when people suffer - but I also cannot stand when any living being suffers. I called the emergency vets in our area. I really just wanted to know if there was a humane way to stop him from suffering. I just couldn't take it. I thought that flushing him alive was horrible until one of the vets pointed out that he's suffering right now & we know this could be very slow - flushing him (while likely not encouraged by the water/sewer company) would likely kill him faster. That water was not treated for fish life & the flush may just "put him over the edge". He'd likely die sooner from flushing.
I took him from the tank & I flushed him & I cried & cried & cried.
I know this is stupid to most people but it really seemed like he knew us & loved us to & he was special to me - my first fish that I purchased (spent quite a bit on him - that aquarium store doesn't give any away for free - I had to have him because I knew he'd die in that store otherwise - he has one HUGE eye & the other missing - he looks odd - but beautiful to me) & he was disabled (just like me).
I really actually felt honest love for him & him dying, while not the most tragic story in the world nor worthy of any big fanfair, hurt my silly heat.
That's all - hope someone was listening...
The big one's Einstein & the small one's Khalilia
I still have Bert & Ernie, Thelma & Louise (although it was the original Thelma & Louise who strangely "went missing" from the tank), Jesus, & the 5 Wonders of the World (they're all Tetras that look too similar & I only have 5 so they can't be the "7" wonders).
I am sorry to hear about your fish...You are not silly. I was attached to one of my fish too. And when Nemo died, I cried so much...He lived for 2 years. After that, we got another Beta, and for some resason, although we fed him, he had temperature controlled fish tank, and everything, we found him dead one morning...That was Jaws...Now we have Willy, and he is doing great...I didn't know that you can buy disabled fish - but that was very nice of you. Again, I am so sorry about your fish, but I am sure that he knew that you fushed him because you didn't want him to suffer...
I'm not a crier, whiner, or complainer, nor a "victim in my own mind" - so when something like this happens, it's possible that I "over grieve" - taking the opportunity to feel the sadness completely.
I'm not a crier, whiner, or complainer, nor a "victim in my own mind" - so when something like this happens, it's possible that I "over grieve" - taking the opportunity to feel the sadness completely.
What a goof...
(Again, thank you for being so kind)
No problem...I would do the same and cry that much as well if I was in your shoes...
ohhhhhh im so sorry i had a gourami and named him dre after (dr dre) and he died to days ago i really did like him but today i bought a new one hes red and i named him andre romell young (dr dre's) real name i get attached to my fish to sorry again also Einstein lived a good life with you are his hero you rescued him and he loved his home with you you did good and you should keep saving those disabled fish make there lives better and let them live on like Einstein did happy and with a loving owner Einstein would want you to continue on i think
ohhhhhh im so sorry i had a gourami and named him dre after (dr dre) and he died to days ago i really did like him but today i bought a new one hes red and i named him andre romell young (dr dre's) real name i get attached to my fish to sorry again
So, you like Dr Dre? lol
Sorry to hear about your fishy passing.
Honestly, while I'm not crying or anything (anymore) - the fishtank just is NOT the same. Everyday when I look over at it I get a twinge of pain & sadness. Seriously, he was a JOY to sit & watch swimming & eating in the tank.
Sorry to hear about this ....IMHO...it's not insane to think like you do.
We had a goldfish named 'Goldy'...I know, original... that I swear should have been submitted to the Guiness Book of World Records...I think we had it 10 years...when it died we buried it at the local cemetary...we were kids. It just felt like the thing to do.
Other fish I had as an adult were an Oscar and a Plech<---AKA...bottom feeder...they were about the size of a quarter when I got them...when they died it was depressing to say the least...they both were 7 or 8 yrs old and all by themselves in a 200 gal tank...so you can imagine the size they got to.
I think 'Goldy' made an impression on me as a kid...because I buried Oscar and Plech too...
OH and you have a beautiful fishtank Einstein surely was happy there
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