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I never thought I would coming over to Rainbow Bridge so soon. Yesterday we found our "Gravey" or "Pretty Boy" as he as renamed...dead on our side yard. He was mostly a house cat but had a kitty door from the garage to go outside. There had been another black cat the last month roaming around and trying to sneak his food from the garage. It looked as if his furr was roughed up around his neck, but no sign of blood. The only thing we can think of is this other cat got his neck by his teeth just right and he suffocated. I never knew cats to kill other cats. It wasn't a dog, as there are no dogs in the area. Has anyone ever heard of this happening?
We only had him for 2 1/2 years. We got him shortly after we were married and adopted him. We think he was about a year old at the time. He was such a part of our family. He was like a dog and would fetch, come when you called him, greet you when you arrived home and was so smart. I am so sad. I don't think I ever want another cat. I can't go through this sadness of loss again with an animal.
Pardon my asking, but did you bury him? If not you might want to consult with a vet to see whether s/he could figure out what caused this to happen. I've never heard of cats killing one another except when ferals cull their colonies by dispatching elderly or sick members. But I have heard of dogs' doing cats in. (Sometimes it's unintentional - they "don't know their own strength.") Although no canines are known to have homes in the area, that doesn't mean one wasn't passing through. By seeing the Utah address, I also have to wonder whether perhaps a coyote was responsible. Then again, why speculate when an educated opinion is available? Not that it would change anything, but no longer being mystified about the cause could help you along the slow path of healing.
Last January I had to bid farewell to my cat Weasie, who had been my furry four-footed friend for nineteen years. During childhood my family had one kitten who "ran away," and another who was felled by distemper before he'd reached six months of age. Then in my adolescence the mother and son cats who owned us succumbed to CRF, two years apart, when they were both just shy of reaching the ten-year mark. And Weasie's brother who I adopted along with her vanished forever while still a "catolescent." So I've experienced this particular bereavement at most stages of a feline life. There are definitely different kinds of pain between wondering what might have been with a kitten and reflecting on what was with a longtime companion. But it hurts either way.
Everyone mourns differently, but with Weasie it's been a case of taking more steps forward than back as the months move along. By early March I'd gotten past being stuck in various degrees of pure grief, to having most thoughts of her be along the lines of wistful nostalgia. Some days still go better than others. But now I'm at the stage of planning for being cat-owned again. And I'll probably have one or two adoptees under my roof before summer's out.
All of which is to say, "I'll never have another cat" is "famous last words" much more often than not. But that's a perfectly understandable sentiment at this time. What I tell people who ask is, Weasie will never be replaced but there's bound to be a successor out there who needs a loving home and a good quality of life that they don't have yet. And I've had to make clear to a few folks that the shelter listing they want me to see or the kittens they've heard about will have to be taken care of by somebody else. They don't "get" that a cat's life can't be traded in like a car or an appliance. For now it seems impossible to contemplate bringing in another feline, but see how you feel in six months or so. And in the meantime don't let anyone tell you to "get over it" or that you're taking too long to.
I am so sorry...I worry about my cat too, she is an indoor out one. Not my choice, I just couldn't keep her from sneaking out the doggie door. She has already been attacked once, off to the vet we went.
He was a handsome lad...RIP Gravey, say Hi to Mr. Sam (died several years ago) for me!
Pardon my asking, but did you bury him? If not you might want to consult with a vet to see whether s/he could figure out what caused this to happen. I've never heard of cats killing one another except when ferals cull their colonies by dispatching elderly or sick members. But I have heard of dogs' doing cats in. (Sometimes it's unintentional - they "don't know their own strength.") Although no canines are known to have homes in the area, that doesn't mean one wasn't passing through. By seeing the Utah address, I also have to wonder whether perhaps a coyote was responsible. Then again, why speculate when an educated opinion is available? Not that it would change anything, but no longer being mystified about the cause could help you along the slow path of healing.
My husband buried him shortly after we found him. I saw him from a distance, I couldn't bear to look at him that way and wanted to remember him alive. He had the prettiest blue eyes and my husband said his eyes weren't blue anymore and he didn't look like himself.
I don't know for a fact that he was killed by that cat. They had got in a couple fights before but nothing like this. Our cat was actually bigger than that cat and ours had been neutered and I doubt the wild cat had been. My cat has never been afraid of dogs, so it could of been a dog, not sure. We do have a field around us, because we are the only house on the street, but I have never seen any coyotes. We live in the city limits.
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Last January I had to bid farewell to my cat Weasie, who had been my furry four-footed friend for nineteen years. During childhood my family had one kitten who "ran away," and another who was felled by distemper before he'd reached six months of age. Then in my adolescence the mother and son cats who owned us succumbed to CRF, two years apart, when they were both just shy of reaching the ten-year mark. And Weasie's brother who I adopted along with her vanished forever while still a "catolescent." So I've experienced this particular bereavement at most stages of a feline life. There are definitely different kinds of pain between wondering what might have been with a kitten and reflecting on what was with a longtime companion. But it hurts either way
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I feel for you to lose a cat after 19 years. We had a cat a few years ago that lived 17 years and it was the cat that all my kids grew up with. I didn't think I would be so upset in losing Gravey when we haven't had him that long but it's been all I have been thinking about all week. My husband had a 'melt down' about it today. Gravey actually was closest to him. I guess he scratched him longer and better than I did.
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All of which is to say, "I'll never have another cat" is "famous last words" much more often than not. But that's a perfectly understandable sentiment at this time. What I tell people who ask is, Weasie will never be replaced but there's bound to be a successor out there who needs a loving home and a good quality of life that they don't have yet.
I said that on Tuesday and today I found myself at the animal shelter for two hours holding all the cats. I can't replace Gravey but I did see that there are so many adult cats that need love. I was comparing them all to Gravey and there was not a blue-eyed one in the bunch. There was one in particular that latched on to me. It was a tuxedo cat named zoo boo. I don't know we'll see. I can't bring myself to adopt one yet.
I also had a few "meltdowns" about Weasie, both before and after she was gone. Not many unrelated humans have been a constant presence in my life for two whole decades. Eventually I put my finger on how losing a longtime feline friend is different than having to part with a person forever. We may have had no shared memories away from the house (except for vet excursions), but Weasie was part of what "home" means. Coming home automatically meant returning to her. When you turn the doorknob to walk in, instinct says that the cat will run to greet you within seconds - or at least lift its head from a nap as if to say, "Thanks for disturbing - not!" Their life is woven into yours. So having to mentally unravel all that is tough.
Now is definitely too soon to think about adopting again, for the same reason that a "rebound relationship" with a person is rarely a good idea. I'll inevitably draw comparisons between Weasie and/or Puppy (her long-lost brother) with the successor cat(s.) But it will be in a healthy way and not so as to not recognize that the new addition(s) are unique beings unto themselves. That's what time allows for. Even so - bravo for visiting the shelter. You and maybe both of you might like to put in some time volunteering there. That would not only be appreciated by the shelter staff, it'd put you in the regular company of other felines. My phasing into "new normal" has been helped a great deal by my spending time with neighbors' and friends' cats, and by greeting my feral visitors when they stop by for some of the food I keep out on my porch. Staying isolated and feeling sorry for yourself only drags out the healing process.
Along those lines, thanks for posting here. A shared burden is a lighter one.
I also had a few "meltdowns" about Weasie, both before and after she was gone. Not many unrelated humans have been a constant presence in my life for two whole decades. Eventually I put my finger on how losing a longtime feline friend is different than having to part with a person forever. We may have had no shared memories away from the house (except for vet excursions), but Weasie was part of what "home" means. Coming home automatically meant returning to her. When you turn the doorknob to walk in, instinct says that the cat will run to greet you within seconds - or at least lift its head from a nap as if to say, "Thanks for disturbing - not!" Their life is woven into yours. So having to mentally unravel all that is tough.
I am sorry about your Weasie. It's true the meltdowns don't just happen when they leave us initially. Last night I had a meltdown when we arrived home after being gone two days. As we pulled up to the house I started getting teary because Gravey wasn't there to greet us. He really was a part of our "home".
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You and maybe both of you might like to put in some time volunteering there. That would not only be appreciated by the shelter staff, it'd put you in the regular company of other felines. My phasing into "new normal" has been helped a great deal by my spending time with neighbors' and friends' cats, and by greeting my feral visitors when they stop by for some of the food I keep out on my porch. Staying isolated and feeling sorry for yourself only drags out the healing process.
Along those lines, thanks for posting here. A shared burden is a lighter one.
I mentioned to my husband and the shelter that I would like to volunteer. I know I felt better after visiting there last week. I also have the firm belief that sometimes the pet chooses you and not you choosing them. I saw this zooboo and really didn't pay much attention to him and actually went there to see a calico cat named ember. But he kept watching me and when I sat on the chair he jumped on my lap and wanted to cuddle and began purring. Then when I put him down he kept following me around. The calico wanted nothing to do with me. Kinda strange.
It is nice to have somewhere to go to feel a bond with others that have lost their little ones.
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