For My Beloved Holi, It Has Been Three Years Ago Today I Last Held You in My Arms (breeders, canine)

[Mtn. States Resident]

Elsewhere I have written about losing my youngest of the three canines that I've lost. She had the worst cardiac defect possible in a cocker, a Sub-Aortic Stenosis at her AV Node. I was happy to read about the stents/balloons procedures which are now starting to be used to dilate the very constricted heart blood vessels for SAS puppies. Mostly it is a procedure used on larger breeders who are the breeds who get this congenital condition, not a pure bred, registered cocker spaniel.

Because I know tears are emotions turned liquid and healing comes when we can share some of our grief and sorrow for that precious little one we had and lost, I chose today to honor the memory of Holi with a four of the songs I burned on a disc specifically for her. We played them, and a few others, prior to burying her, as each had a specific meaning about Holi.

I could have added them to the thread about music can be healing, but I decided my sweet Holi deserved her own thread. A place where those of us who miss her so much can visit to remember what a playful, engaging little one she was. All she wanted was to live each day to its fullest and hope there would be a tomorrow for her. Sadly, three years ago today, she had no more tomorrows.

I'll start with Elton John's Circle of Life. If you can, please watch a little of the video in the background as you listen to the words. How precious is that to see new little ones who apparently inspired the drawings of Simba.

"From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here"

"Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars"

"In the circle of life
It's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap of faith
It's the band of hope
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle, the circle of life"


YouTube - Elton John - Circle Of Life (High Quality)

Next, is Every Day by Stevie Nicks. ( I really don't like the original video of this so I had to search to find a different video of the beautiful melody and her poetic words. It's not the best quality, but at least doesn't have what I find distracting/confusing in the original video)

Every Day

"Every day I see you
Every day I need you
Every way I breathe you
On and on and on and on again"

"It's not important to wonder why
What is just is no more to imply
This simple thought repeating
Over and over again"

"Imagine all the ways to cope
I close my eyes, that gives me hope
It cures the silence"


YouTube - Stevie Nicks on The Late Show 2001

(Please ignore Dave Letterman, I couldn't divide the one live video into just the song).

The last two songs were selected due to her very tender age when we lost her, and how much living she packed into living everyday to its fullest.

A New Day by Celine Dion ~

"A new day has...come “
"Hush, love “
"I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun
A new day has...come "


YouTube - Celine Dion - A New Day Has Come [Official Music Video] HQ
And finally the hardest one for me to personally hear ~

Brahms’s Lullaby by Celine Dion -

"Lullaby and good night
In the sky stars are bright
'Round your head
Flowers gay
Set your slumbers till day"

"Lullaby and good night
In the sky stars are bright
'Round your head
Flowers gay
Set your slumbers till day"

"Close your eyes
Now and rest
May these hours
Be blessed"

YouTube - celine dion - brahm's lullaby

We love and miss you Holi more than words can say today! Thank you for the laughs and pranks. And thank you for never feeling sorry for yourself that it was you who was born with a heart that didn't work correctly anatomically, but overflowed with love for those you let closest to you. You are in our hearts forever.

Love, Your Sister Christi and Your Human Family

[Arkie4Life]

I can certainly empathize with you. We lost a little Yorkie, Rosie, to a tragic accident almost four years ago. We named her Rose Petal, because she was beautiful, tiny, and delicate. She ran around with other Yorkies and two English Bulldogs and made it clear to all that she was "daddy's pick" and leader of the pack. Her size never slowed her down. Unfortunately, it caught up with her and she broke her neck in a freak accident.

I am sure Holi taught you and your family a lot about life and how to overcome adversity. I know this because Rosie taught us so much about unconditional love and how to enjoy each day. I share your grief.

Although our little ones were with us a short time, their memories will forever live in our hearts and minds...

[3chidogs]

I also understand how it feels to lose a treasured friend too soon. We lost Nugget at the age of 5 due to a sudden illness that blindswiped us and left us grief stricken and stunned. Still not over it. It is so wonderful of you to post these tributes to Holi. She was indeed loved and treasured by you, and it sounds as if she knew it too. You have my deepest wishes for peace in your memories of her, and the love you shared.

[Summerz]

Lovely tribute.

[bjh]

I'm sorry you lost your pet. We never really forget no matter how long it's been. Be happy for the good times.

[Mtn. States Resident]

Thank you Arkie4Life, 3chidogs, Summerz and bjh for your kind, supportive comments. I wasn't able to rep any of you, but know I would if I could.

I wish I had a picture of her to post here. The best picture I have - I don't like the color on her; however, I know why the person chose it. Cardiac puppies, just like cardiac babies, don't always look the best. We chose her colors carefully.

Besides, Holi didn't like to hold still, she always wanted to something like "deliver the mail" - taking letters from one person in a room in the house to another person in a different room in the house - just because she thought it was fun to carry a letter in her mouth. She was too busy playing with her sister, getting on the couch and JUMPING on her sister, who was in the bean bag below her etc. Then she learned to walk up my left leg and maintain her balance. I haven't seen many canines do that, just cats.

Honestly, I'm always amazed at what wonderful comments those who read the posts here write to each. And if these pets teach us nothing else, they have taught us how to better relate to other people who may be experiencing similar circumstances. I know most, if not all of you, have also lost some pets very close to you. Summerz, it wasn't that long ago for you...so I really appreciate you making the effort to write here. And 3chidogs, I'm always amazed how much you reach out to total strangers to lend encouragement and support.

Arkie4Life - it sounds like you've had some wonderful pets in your life that influenced your family. Thanks for taking the time to add your comments.

And bjh, it was so difficult to know everyday if I was letting her do too much, or not letting her do enough. However, SHE created her own good times. She loved to play and be a silly.

I talked to her sister, Christi, yesterday about it being the anniversary of losing "sister." It's as if she understood. In some ways, that is one of the most painful memories for me was holding Holi on my lap petting her in disbelief of what had just happened and her sister sat right by me on my right side looking totally confused. We all were confused, her last check up showed her to be better than six months prior.

No one ever talked with me about how to get her sister ready to suddenly lose Holi in less than a minute. Dealing with Christi's depression was a major situation as she kept thinking her sister would return, or was hiding. She looked for her for many days. Fortunately, Christi found comfort in my arms as well.

If you haven't figured out by now, they were indeed Christmas gifts, thus their names: Holi and Christi.

I wish all of you wonderful things to come into your lives today, because you took the time to care yesterday about my Holi. Thank you.

MSR

[Arkie4Life]

MSR: You are very welcome. Thank you for being such a great fur baby lover! I wish everyone had a heart likewise.......

[3chidogs]

You are welcome. I feel we all need to support one another in these times. And our feelings do not heal overnight. Take care of yourself.

[zugor]

MSR I haven't yet been able to handle listening to you tribute but I will try soon. I know all too well how you are feeling even though it has been 3 years since the loss of your beloved Holi. Solly is the dog that I still fervently miss each and every day and it has been over 3 years since he passed away.

Having just had to bid a sudden and unexpected farewell to Orion three days ago my heart is heavy. Today, the 19th, is the 3rd anniversary of the loss of Sam, who was with me for just one wonderful year.

On a Sunday afternoon in Sept of 1990 I lost a 22 month old golden to what the vet could only guess was probably SAS, which I had never heard of back then.

But the most important thing we all share is the great joy we experience as a result of having these wonderful companions during a part of our journey through this life. For me the best way to honor their memories is to keep working to save the lives of many more of them; to help find new loving homes for the abandoned ones, places where they will be cherished for many years and mourned when they die. The pleasure of their company always outweighs the loss in my experience. So when I am ready there will be another big old black dog who comes to live out the remainder of his/her life at this country home for old dogs.

[BlueWillowPlate]

MSR
So sorry about your dear Holi.
We never forget, even if the pain might lessen just a bit.