She Was My Best Friend (floor, wood, puppy, lost)

[Thursday007]

She was my best friend, confidant and go-to gal. Her friendship proved most reliable for the past 11 years. Not a day passed in which I did not tell her I loved her.

But Saturday night, something seemed off , her eyes larger and bluer, seemingly disoriented. I let her up on the bed with me and as it was beyond vet hours I went to call one of my friends in the rescue organization...before I could dial a number she simply exhaled and died in my arms.

She was an 11 year old Shar-pei, not known for their longevity, and her three puppy pals are fine.

I could tell you a million reasons and ways I loved her, but as a human I could also tell you a million ways I could have done her better. As I sat there looking at her wrapped in a blanket, I searched my heart for the ever unanswered and unknown WHY?! WHY!? WHY!? as I screamed and cursed God for this awful act - as many others who have experienced loss.

I taught her how to fetch, to crawl across the floor on her belly, even bring a towel to wipe her muzzle and a host of other things.

What she taught me however, was much more valuable and simple - she taught me how to love in a way no human could. She gave me laughter when I needed it and hope when I needed it.

The reality is I knew she would pass before me and through all this hurt, ache and tremendous flow of tears, I still wouldn't trade it for a day without her. In an article I once read a psychologist pointed out that a person may grieve more for the loss of a pet than a human due in part because the pet is totally and completely dependant upon them for everything and a person feels a deeper sense of blame or responsibility when the pet dies. I am awash with that feeling.

I posted the following some backwood thread ago and I am reposting it now in Sydney's honor and for those who have recently lost a beloved pet and for those who still can appreciate their companion's love and attention.

Things I Learned From My Dog:

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
6. Take naps often and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you're not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
16. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17. No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing or pout. Run right back and make friends.
18. Bond with your pack.
19. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

[latetotheparty]

so sorry for your shocking loss.... i have tears in my eyes as i type this.... my heart is so sad for you..... what a lovely tribute to your pal...... and so true.... EVERY word.....

[chaseystarz]

I am sorry for you loss. I love your list of things learned from your dog. How touching and sweet. Best of hope for you.

[DandJ]

That was the most touching tribute you could have written -- you did Sydney proud!

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Please don't beat yourself up with the "what ifs" and "what more could I have done" questions. She went so quickly -- the best of ways, without pain. You held her. She went in your arms. That's the way I'd want to go too -- being held by the person who loves me most, and whom I love the most.

You did right by Sydney. You did. Cherish your memories of the vibrant girl she was. And is. Because, in your heart, she will always be that happy girl. Your happy girl.

I'm going to get a Kleenex now. Please excuse any typos here. It's hard to write with tears in my eyes.

Be kind to yourself now. Just as you were kind to Sydney.

[ShelbyGirl1]

I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart just breaks for you.

[kahskye]

I too am very sorry for your loss and understand all too much the pain.

[brightdoglover]

Many of us "out here" know how it hurts to lose your companion. She had a good long life and you did appreciate all of it with her.

[Driller1]

I am sorry for your loss.

[mamh]

Tears and Hugs, to you
We buried our senior cocker and my best buddy in June..
Its just hard because they give you so much and ask so little..

[SoHoVe]

I am very sorry for your loss...its such a shame their lives are so much sorter than ours.
Each time I lose on I swear I will never put myself though that again...and then along comes another wagging tail into my life.

Please take care, I know this is difficult.