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I think the OP's situation is an indicator that moving can be very stressful. It may not even matter what city you are moving to. If you give up your career, your friends, your family, your routine - basically your whole life - to pick up and start over somewhere else, that can be very hard emotionally. If your marriage is struggling, the stress of a move can take an even bigger toll on a marriage. ie You're depressed and lonely in a new place and you have even greater expectations of your partner - maybe your partner doesn't understand etc. That may lead to wanting to part ways and lead separate lives. I'm sorry this happened OP and I wish you the best of luck going forward! My only thought for you is, don't let yourself be all sad and lonely till you move. Reach and maybe try to make some connections here. Everyone needs a little support no matter where they are.
I think the OP's situation is an indicator that moving can be very stressful. It may not even matter what city you are moving to. If you give up your career, your friends, your family, your routine - basically your whole life - to pick up and start over somewhere else, that can be very hard emotionally. If your marriage is struggling, the stress of a move can take an even bigger toll on a marriage. ie You're depressed and lonely in a new place and you have even greater expectations of your partner - maybe your partner doesn't understand etc. That may lead to wanting to part ways and lead separate lives. I'm sorry this happened OP and I wish you the best of luck going forward! My only thought for you is, don't let yourself be all sad and lonely till you move. Reach and maybe try to make some connections here. Everyone needs a little support no matter where they are.
... If your marriage is struggling, the stress of a move can take an even bigger toll on a marriage...
In reading this thread I realized I personally know 3 couples who moved here in a past ditch effort to save their respective marriages. Now, if a couple moved for this reason and the move saved the marriage, that would be interesting to know. Hmmm...
Sry to hear about the seperations--from the state and spouse. It is difficult to know what is going to work for anyone person. For example, I found myself unemployed and ZERO prospects virtually over night. My wife and I knew unenjoyment would BARELY cover the mortgage, leaving us with no utilities, food, fuel, or anything else.
OR we could pay everything else and forego the mortgage. We decide to forego EVERYTHING in that previous life and try something new. Sight unseen we headed to NC.
Not sure if we can say why it worked--maybe because we simply had NOTHING else? After a year, we have decided our decision was right. Yet, we have met others who feel the opposite. Not sure if we really know why?
IMHO I believe it works or doesn't based on expectations. If the new place isn't meeting expectations or previous experiences, it is probably not going to be a successful transition. Not necessarily because of the environment, but just because the expectations are drastically different from prior knowledge.
Not that one can say any decision is better than another, but bless yer heart and hopefully you will find peace and contentment with your next move...
I must agree....people who move to this area from the Northeast...absoulutely love it....while others who move from the west coast ie, Cali/Denver/Phoenix despise it.....Everyone I know that migrated to NC during the 'boom year' from the westcoast moved back...From what I gathered..not enough opportunity or not diverse enough....Nothing to do.
I disagree. I am originally from CA. Moved here when I was seven, so I may not count, but my parents love it here and have never looked back. I also grew up with kids who were also from CA and their families have never looked back. More recently, I have several clients and acquaintances from CA who love it here. None have moved back or have thought about it, they do love to visit though. They find plenty to do, are here because of opportunity, and find it quite diverse, at least in Durham where all these people live.
IAPonyGirl, I'm sorry things didn't work out. Good luck to you!
All I want to say is that I am sorry you have had such a tough time. Sounds like you are homesick, and that's understandable. My move was pretty traumatic as well and it took a lot of time and work to get acclimated, though I really love it here now. IT's not for everyone, and obviously IA is for you!!
I think the OP's situation is an indicator that moving can be very stressful. It may not even matter what city you are moving to. If you give up your career, your friends, your family, your routine - basically your whole life - to pick up and start over somewhere else, that can be very hard emotionally. If your marriage is struggling, the stress of a move can take an even bigger toll on a marriage. ie You're depressed and lonely in a new place and you have even greater expectations of your partner - maybe your partner doesn't understand etc. That may lead to wanting to part ways and lead separate lives. I'm sorry this happened OP and I wish you the best of luck going forward! My only thought for you is, don't let yourself be all sad and lonely till you move. Reach and maybe try to make some connections here. Everyone needs a little support no matter where they are.
Wow you said a mouthful...as the Beatles once said so well: I'll get by with a little help from my friends...hope that's not too corny but when the day is done, it's all about the compadre-ship is it not?
Question on the road kill - is it that there are very few animals getting run over in Iowa? or do they have legions of road kill pick-up crews monitoring the highways? I lived in ohio for years (midwest) and there was plenty of road kill on the roads (and also plenty of dead cars everywhere too - the result of no state inspection)....... Just curious
Question on the road kill - is it that there are very few animals getting run over in Iowa? or do they have legions of road kill pick-up crews monitoring the highways? I lived in ohio for years (midwest) and there was plenty of road kill on the roads (and also plenty of dead cars everywhere too - the result of no state inspection)....... Just curious
There's plenty of road kill in IA, esp. deer, possums, skunks, and raccoons mostly. But the highway dept. always comes and picks them up. Here they just leave the big ole deer carcasses to rot on the roadside and then those vulture things show up. I find it creepy I guess.
There's plenty of road kill in IA, esp. deer, possums, skunks, and raccoons mostly. But the highway dept. always comes and picks them up. Here they just leave the big ole deer carcasses to rot on the roadside and then those vulture things show up. I find it creepy I guess.
vultures perform the same task, albeit a bit slower, but for no salary or benefits, and besides, vultures gotta eat too
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