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Old 12-29-2010, 05:03 PM
 
Location: NC
4,532 posts, read 8,848,925 times
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OP - come on down, give this place a chance, I think you'll like it!
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Old 12-29-2010, 05:16 PM
 
Location: NC
645 posts, read 986,667 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ozwanderer View Post
It's like having a job - you can be successful and thrive at one company, but having the same job at a different company can be a failure. Some places are a fit, some are not.

Yep - agree. This is very true with places, too, ya know? I've lived in a bunch of places - sometimes things just click. Other times, it seems that no matter what you do, you can't win. Call it chemistry, timing, vibe, whatever. It happens. One thing for sure, going to school in a new place helps out a lot when it comes to socializing. That's like 10x odds.

I think you mentioned liking the LA social vibe. Have you tried skiing? Snowboarding? This is what I've found re: social scenes in the North vs. the South. Skiing, I find, is really tough to get into - but once you're in, it's pretty easy to get really good. On the other hand, snowboarding is not that hard to get to know, but it takes a lot more work and effort to get really good at it. I think the North is more like skiing. The South is like snowboarding. Not sure if you have found/will find the same - but I've found that it is.

I came to the Raleigh buffet toting a main dish and a couple sides, so I knew I was going to have a decent meal when I arrived. I definitely think this place is a lot easier if you have friends/family here. Like others on this thread, I don't have first hand experience being single here - I also don't know many singles here. I've heard that it's tough to be single here (well, that is unless you are coming here to attend one of our fine institutions of higher learnin'). Now, I've also heard that Seattle is a good place for singles, but you know - I knew a lotta single people out there and they all thought the opposite.

I do think that you have a lot of things that will work for you here. You mentioned being from a religious family (though you yourself are not religious) with deep Southern roots. I assume you get along with them fine or else you wouldn't choose to be nearer by. With this background, you probably won't have the culture shock like some people. You also mentioned being more suburban than urban/rural - I think the Triangle certainly fits that bill. I've met quite a few people from Ohio - so you'll have some good company here. You seem to be friendly and have a good attitude - that will definitely work in your favor. Do you have a job/job prospects here?

I'm sure you've already thought of this, but if you liked all the amenities of Seattle, but want a friendlier vibe - you might also want to consider Atlanta.
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Old 12-29-2010, 11:10 PM
 
35 posts, read 56,330 times
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B&C: I haven't snowboarded or skied, but I follow what you are getting at. Supposedly Seattle is in the top few (maybe even #1) in numbers or percent of singles. After my experience here, I think there's a reason so many are single! Lol I've had a theory for awhile that a single who is looking to not be single is better off in a place with fewer singles as there may be more social pressure or just cultural inclination to pair off.

I am just hoping if I move there (which I am leaning VERY heavily toward doing), that at least some people are responsive when you want to get together again (it's an extremely rare thing here in my experience - I think some genuinely want to at first, but when it comes to follow through they can't be bothered). Can everyone tell how much I love this town!!! lol

I don't have job prospects in the area at the moment. I've had tons of contract work here and my latest gig ends on Friday. I will be back on unemployment. I am in school part-time, but finish in March. I will move (temporarily) to the Richmond, VA area until I get work in my target city (assuming I don't land a job here first, which is highly unlikely). Once I hear officially from one local prospect which is seeming dimmer by the day, I will get my resume and LinkedIn profile upgraded and start networking and targeting companies in Raleigh.

Why do you suggest Atlanta? I have very little sense of the place . . . my limited perception is that it is very hot and socially a bit moderate, surrounding by a lot of ultra-conservative.
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Old 12-30-2010, 05:15 AM
 
Location: NC
4,532 posts, read 8,848,925 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ozwanderer View Post
B&C:
I am just hoping if I move there (which I am leaning VERY heavily toward doing), that at least some people are responsive when you want to get together again (it's an extremely rare thing here in my experience - I think some genuinely want to at first, but when it comes to follow through they can't be bothered). Can everyone tell how much I love this town!!! lol

I don't have job prospects in the area at the moment. I've had tons of contract work here and my latest gig ends on Friday. I will be back on unemployment. I am in school part-time, but finish in March. I will move (temporarily) to the Richmond, VA area until I get work in my target city (assuming I don't land a job here first, which is highly unlikely). Once I hear officially from one local prospect which is seeming dimmer by the day, I will get my resume and LinkedIn profile upgraded and start networking and targeting companies in Raleigh.
About the getting together, I don't expect the issue you mentioned is unique to that area. What i'm seeing and experiencing here is that everyone works so hard to keep their job, or has other obligations, it's hard to find time for working on friendships not matter how much you'd like to. I do think you should prepare yourself for this.

And as for your job comments...I assumed you had prospects here. Not knowing your background/training, I would get that Linked-In page up asap. To have it and not need the networking from it is (obviously) is far better than wishing you'd have put it up sooner. Depending on your skills, it could take months to find a job here. While you might be lucky to fall into one quickly if you have contacts, be prepared for it to take a while and up to maybe a year? Competition is fierce. You are up against people who live and all over the country wanting to move here. I saw that Francois offered to help you with info and networking...this would a great opportunity to get to know folks here and make connections. He is a local, I'd take him up on the offer of assistance!
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:21 AM
 
Location: NC
645 posts, read 986,667 times
Reputation: 1552
Quote:
Originally Posted by ozwanderer View Post
B&C: I haven't snowboarded or skied, but I follow what you are getting at. Supposedly Seattle is in the top few (maybe even #1) in numbers or percent of singles. After my experience here, I think there's a reason so many are single! Lol I've had a theory for awhile that a single who is looking to not be single is better off in a place with fewer singles as there may be more social pressure or just cultural inclination to pair off.

I am just hoping if I move there (which I am leaning VERY heavily toward doing), that at least some people are responsive when you want to get together again (it's an extremely rare thing here in my experience - I think some genuinely want to at first, but when it comes to follow through they can't be bothered). Can everyone tell how much I love this town!!! lol

I don't have job prospects in the area at the moment. I've had tons of contract work here and my latest gig ends on Friday. I will be back on unemployment. I am in school part-time, but finish in March. I will move (temporarily) to the Richmond, VA area until I get work in my target city (assuming I don't land a job here first, which is highly unlikely). Once I hear officially from one local prospect which is seeming dimmer by the day, I will get my resume and LinkedIn profile upgraded and start networking and targeting companies in Raleigh.

Why do you suggest Atlanta? I have very little sense of the place . . . my limited perception is that it is very hot and socially a bit moderate, surrounding by a lot of ultra-conservative.

To me, this sounds more like Charlotte than Atlanta. I haven't lived in Atlanta, but I've been there many times. I think you said you really liked Seattle ('cept for the people) - I only mentioned Atlanta bc in terms of metro/suburb feel/vibe/mix and amenities, Atlanta is very similar to Seattle (albeit, it is a bigger city overall). People-wise, I found Atlanta to be somewhat similar to LA in culture/feel. Personally, I did not find it conservative at all - generalizin', you know. Climate-wise, there isn't going to be a whole lot of difference bet. Atlanta and Raleigh. Coming from Seattle, my first couple summers here were tough - it gets quite hot and humid! But I'd take that over the 7 months of gray drizzle/mist (I called it Chinese water torture...) any day of the week. Sunshine is a most beautiful thing, my friend!

I agree with Raleigh Lass - employment here in the Triangle is very competitive. I think you will fare much better if you have health care (nursing, phys therapy, etc) or IT/bio tech background - but even that arena is pretty cutthroat now. Otherwise, it could be a long, long stretch of no bacon. I don't care where you live - if you don't have the funds, it ain't gonna be no fun! A good job is going to not only improve your quality of life - these days, it IS your life.

Re: social perspective, I really get that your experience in Seattle was tough. That's a shame, coz it really tweaks (consciously or subconsciously)
your sense of perspective and expectations (ie: Anyplace is better than here! or the dreaded "if" disease - IF only I lived there, I'd be happy, etc.).
Not saying that's what's going on with you - but it's like getting out of a bad relationship. Sometimes, you are so desperate for change, that anything seems like it would be a huge step up...until you find your self in another bad (or worse) relationship.

I do agree that networking with Francois would be a very good idea. He obviously has a lot of good ideas/contacts/insight on the Triangle gay community - and being a local/native - he can turn you onto the real deal real fast.

Good luck - Here if you need more info.
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:43 AM
 
6,297 posts, read 16,061,748 times
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I think of Atlanta as Raleigh's big fat, nasty, worldly (in a bad way), ugly older sister. I went there for a business trip, and I could not wait to leave.

Quote:
I'm sure you've already thought of this, but if you liked all the amenities of Seattle, but want a friendlier vibe - you might also want to consider Atlanta.
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Old 12-30-2010, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Niflheim
1,331 posts, read 1,981,952 times
Reputation: 1133
This thread is interesting. We justed moved from Dallas, TX and can not wait to move back.
I'd even move to CA if I could...don't think east coast is for me
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Old 12-30-2010, 07:30 AM
 
Location: NC
645 posts, read 986,667 times
Reputation: 1552
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebrentwood View Post
I think of Atlanta as Raleigh's big fat, nasty, worldly (in a bad way), ugly older sister. I went there for a business trip, and I could not wait to leave.
LOL lovebrentwood! Tell us how y'all really feel! Different strokes, I s'pose.
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Old 12-30-2010, 12:25 PM
 
35 posts, read 56,330 times
Reputation: 26
Type O Negative: Why don't you like it in Raleigh? I would very much like to hear experience and perspective.

slim2none mentioned his wife has made friends in the grocery store . . . I know that is one person's very specific, singular experience, but very interesting . . . here I could see someone having a really involved conversation and you feel like you got to know them . . . just don't expect to ever see them again outside the grocery store . . . I realize that that is probably a growing thing in our society, but am thinking I would be happy if even 10% of people with whom I made an effort would reciprocate.

Thanks for the feedback, RL! I'm waiting on the LinkedIn upgrade (going to have it professionally done) as well as a professional touch up of the resume b/c they cost money, but there is one job prospect for which I have completed interviewing and I don't want to waste the money if I get an offer. The position is here and as unhappy I am here, I would definitely take it for the experience. Once I am 100% committed to moving to the Triangle (I am at about 80% now), I will join the local American Marketing Association chapter as well as the local Project Management Institute chapter in order to network. I know it will likely be hard to get work, but I finished my MBA in 2005, moved up here and have had pretty much nothing but contract work! So, probably I would be no worse off on that front!

I realize the job thing may take some time. I would move in with my brother outside Richmond to put me closer to NC and within driving distance to interviews, but save money until I land a job. I have a marketing background, complete with MBA and am about to get a Project Management certification in a few months . . . in terms of industry, my background is a bit diverse, but I've had two contracts at Microsoft so got some IT experience. I did ping Francois, just waiting to hear back!

B&C, I actually have LOVED the Seattle weather . . . I hate heat (not that I like ice and snow either) - 60 degrees is perfect for me. I realize that moving to the South will put me in the heat, but I will just deal. And unlike the Pac NW, at least a/c is common there! A few summers ago, we had a stifling heat wave (108 degrees) for days and days and I and most others had zero a/c as is historically just doesn't get that hot here, but seems to be increasing in frequency (allegedly b/c of global warming). I have also loved the rain and clouds. At one point, it rained 90 straight days and coworkers were complaining and I honestly hadn't noticed because I liked it so much. Though after 5 1/2 years, in the last few months I've had an unusual (for me) craving for sun. Don't recall that ever happening to me in CA or OH.

B&C, I do think you are dead-on about the social perspective. Right now I really want out of here, though if I landed a good job or found Mr. Right, I would stay here, at least for awhile. My negative feelings of here are probably coloring my perspective of elsewhere . . . which is one reason I came on the forum in the first place . . . I want to make sure I land in, if not "the" right place (if such thing exists), at least a "solidly good enough place". There was no way to know what it was like here - the questions I am asking, never would have occurred to me in a million years if I hadn't now had the experience of being here. I even posted personal ads (met some folks and even a friend or two) and made three visits before moving here and had one or two negative experiences in the process, but NEVER associated it with them being a "cultural norm" here, I just thought it was those few people, which it turned out to not be the case.
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Old 12-30-2010, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Niflheim
1,331 posts, read 1,981,952 times
Reputation: 1133
Ozwandere,

This is just me,but:

Crazy, dangerous drivers.
Traffic is always bad and the roads are in poor condition.

Any road construction will take years to complete, eventhough it could have been done in months. (gotta keep the gov grants and jobs)

Schools are academicaly not as good as where I came from.

Things are more expensive.

Maybe just me, but most people I have rin into aren't very pleasant

Nothing to do unless you are into nature and stuff like that.

cell phone coverage sux because of all the trees.

To cold, but I'm happy in mid to upper 90

Some of the reasons I can think of
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