Experiences with moving to Raleigh and away from extended family??? (Cary: renting, house)
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, CaryThe Triangle Area
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My husband and I are hoping to move to Raleigh because we know it would be worlds better lifestyle-wise for our immediate family (us, our son, and future kids). Right now, however, my parents, my grandparents, my husband's brother, and most of my husband's extended family live within 45 minutes (in Maryland), and my husband's parents live about 2 hours away (in Delaware). We would be looking at a 4 1/2 drive to get to MD and about a 5 1/2 hour drive to get to DE.
On one hand, I know we wouldn't have the convenience of stopping over for dinner every few weeks, or having ready babysitters. On the other hand, however, I feel like maybe we'd see even MORE of our families in that when we would see them, it would be for a whole weekend or a whole vacation week, as opposed to 4 or 5 hours at a time.
I'm curious what others' experiences have been in moving away from their extended families. How did the families take the news? How was the transition? What do you find are the best ways to keep in touch? Other Pros/Cons?
My situation is a little different because I do not have my own family yet and it is just me and my boyfriend, but I came to Raleigh leaving my parents in Miami (my hometown and where I moved from) and my sister in Gainesville, FL. Both of these places are at least an 8 hour drive, probably more (definitely more for Miami). It is tough since I lived so close to my parents, I would see them often, have dinner together, etc. I would see my sister throughout the year when she would come home on breaks from school. I miss them a lot, especially since my Mom and I would go shopping together in our free time.
So far, we have talked on the phone at least once a week for about an hour. We also send each other lots of pictures! My parents have a cabin in GA that is 6 hours away from here, and I have met them and my sister there on several occasions and on holidays. I also went down for my sister's graduation, and I visited home for a week nearly a year after I moved. My parents are going to visit me in a couple of weeks. (We are lucky to have saved up a lot of vacation time!)
To me, anything that is a 6 hour drive or less is very doable for weekend visits. I used to live in Gainesville for college, and that is 6 hours from my home. I would visit for long weekends and breaks, and a 6 hour (or less) drive is not all that bad. So, in my opinion, you all will still be in good shape to be able to visit! No worries!
I feel like maybe we'd see even MORE of our families in that when we would see them, it would be for a whole weekend or a whole vacation week, as opposed to 4 or 5 hours at a time.
I would not count on seeing them more, at least not right away. Moving is stressful, especially moving hundreds of miles to a place that is unfamiliar to you. It's going to take some time for your family to adjust to your new environment. We've been here about 5 weeks now. Having half your stuff in storage, getting new license and registration, finding a good preschool, house hunting (if you are renting first, which I recommend) and just finding a barber takes a lot more time and energy than we thought it would! I don't think we'll have the time or energy to travel until maybe Christmastime.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mmemk
How did the families take the news?
I've read quite a few threads on this subject. Many people seem to be in sync with our philosphy on the subject. Family members will not be happy you are moving away. Some will feel abandon (my 25 year old son) , others jealous (my sister), and some will try to convince you that thier home town is much better than Raliegh (practically all my in-laws). But you gotta go where you feel life is taking you, regardless of how people react to it. You can still be a part of the family, whether you live 2 hours away or 5. It just takes a bit more time and planning.
Location: Between a nook-a-ler reactor and a dump, North Cackalacky
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I've moved away from home, back home, moved away again (a very spontaneous move fueled by alcohol lol!), moved to within an hour of home, and moved away again. I have also moved my wife away from her very close family, and now we're within 3 hrs of them (perfect distance).
You have to do what's best for you and your family. And if the move doesn't work out, you'll not carry to your grave the regret of not trying to improve your lot, and you'll all get a laugh out of the experience. If your family has your interest at heart, they will ultimately be understanding and encouraging.
There will be "separation anxiety" all around, it's natural, and it will subside as time passes. Talk with your family regularly, send them emails and pictures of you out living life, cherish the time you have together when they inevitably come to visit.
I agree with MiamiBlue; a 4 or 5 hour drive is easily done if it means time with family. Hopefully you and your family should be able to work out plenty of nice visits together.
My family lives much further away (17 hours of driving, according to Google). Leaving them was hard, but we've all done our best to stay in touch. First of all, we all use the same cell phone service provider which allows us to talk for hours without using up our minutes. As a result, I often talk to my mom for a couple hours a week. I spend many hours a week talking to my friends, too. And my best friend and I created blogs where we post photos and stories from our lives. My family & lots of my other friends check my blog, too. It's been a great way to keep in touch.
I moved down here with my boyfriend last September... His extended family is in Ohio and mine in Massachusetts. I am extremely close with my family, and well he's a guy and you know how boys are so being away from his family isn't nearly as hard as it is for me.
Holidays are tough and right now we are the ones who are expected to do all the traveling. I think over time when we no longer have Grandparents who can't travel 800 miles for Thanksgiving our families will be more willing to come and visit us for extended periods of time.
I really think that its up to the family to keep together. I speak with my parents and sisters almost on a daily basis. We love to keep in touch, emails, cards, phone calls! Living 30 miles away vs where we live now has been an adjustment. Sometimes I long to jump in the car for a birthday party or dinner at the parents house. But living down here is a MUCH BETTER lifestyle for my boyfriend and I. We are very happy and as much as we love our families we understand that it is most importantly for US TO BE HAPPY!
I moved down here with my boyfriend last September... His extended family is in Ohio and mine in Massachusetts. I am extremely close with my family, and well he's a guy and you know how boys are so being away from his family isn't nearly as hard as it is for me.
Holidays are tough and right now we are the ones who are expected to do all the traveling. I think over time when we no longer have Grandparents who can't travel 800 miles for Thanksgiving our families will be more willing to come and visit us for extended periods of time.
I really think that its up to the family to keep together. I speak with my parents and sisters almost on a daily basis. We love to keep in touch, emails, cards, phone calls! Living 30 miles away vs where we live now has been an adjustment. Sometimes I long to jump in the car for a birthday party or dinner at the parents house. But living down here is a MUCH BETTER lifestyle for my boyfriend and I. We are very happy and as much as we love our families we understand that it is most importantly for US TO BE HAPPY!
Very well said! It sounds like your situation is very similar to mine.
We moved down here to Cary about 4.5 years ago right after we got married. I am from Philly and my husband is from the Eastern Shore of MD. We now have 2 sons, age 1 and 3.
Southwest has amazing specials up to Baltimore and Philly. Most of the time, we spend $88 per person for round trip travel and can get to the airport within 1 hour. We see our families every 2-3 months due to my kids.
We have driven, but we dont like it. The boys dont behave (LOL) and I HATE the traffic in DC and Richmond.
In the 4 years since I moved here, my brother (I only have 1) has moved his family here from NJ, my stepbrother has moved his family here from RI, and my mother and her husband have moved here from FL.
Be careful what you wish for-it was kinda nice having a little space for a while!
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My parents have a cabin in GA that is 6 hours away from here, and I have met them and my sister there on several occasions and on holidays. I also went down for my sister's graduation, and I visited home for a week nearly a year after I moved. My parents are going to visit me in a couple of weeks. (We are lucky to have saved up a lot of vacation time!) 
