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Old 04-22-2011, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Columbus, OH
1 posts, read 23,042 times
Reputation: 10

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Hello everyone, and thank you in advance for your advice (except from the people not wanting us Northerners - especially NYCers - moving to Raleigh - LOL). I am hoping to get your opinion of life in Raleigh based on the information I provided below.

I've been interested in moving to Raleigh for some time now because I don't like living in Columbus, Ohio as I get older. I also don't want to go back home to NYC due to gray sky (not blue - LOL), the battle for parking (can't give up the driving lifestyle), and tiny and expensive apartments.

I hear that Raleigh has similarities to Columbus like the way the neighborhoods look and the cost of living, but that it is a bigger city, more urban, more "on the map", and has lots of transplants like me (especially from NYC). I also hear that Raleigh has a highly educated population. Plus, the drive between Raleigh and NYC when visiting my mom is 1.5 hours less than from Columbus, and I would guess, the driving route may be a bit more scenic (I currently have to drive through KKK land to get to NYC which makes this Russian-American gal very nervous during the drive).

Why do I dislike Columbus? I liked Columbus in 1997 (in my mid-twenties) when I moved here to attend grad/prof school at OSU. But, I am now 38 and single, my friends moved away, and most people in Columbus seem to be married with children. Plus, most people in Columbus are from Ohio - so, they have extended family and a well-developed friend network from their younger days. So, I don't have an outlet to make new friends or do much socially. Plus:
- there isn't much to do in Columbus in terms of cultural events (even on my own);
- everyone is married with kids, so it's nearly impossible to make friends;
- sports - the entire city is comprised of the Buckeye football CULT. I have nothing against sports, but I have grown very frustrated because it seems that everyone (and I mean everyone) is an avid Buckeye football fan --- not because they really love the Buckeyes, but (and it's only my opinion) because they want to "belong". It's like they're drinking the Buckeye "kool-aid". Raleigh, on the other hand, has 3 major schools with big sports (Duke, UNC, NCS) which is very cool and makes for a healthy local rivalry and diversity; and finally
- the more I live in Columbus, the more I am starting to feel like everyone is the same - mentality, likes and dislikes, food choices, favorite vacation spots, etc.

So, with all this being said - if you're still reading this way-too-long message, I would love your opinion.

 
Old 04-22-2011, 03:11 PM
 
29 posts, read 81,206 times
Reputation: 35
Hi, there. I may not be able to provide what you need, but still, here's my two cents as I was 'transplanted' here 15 yrs ago from a bigger city than NYC and a place much further than THE North.

Raleigh is a region formed with a mid sized city which is surrounded by several towns, each has its unique style. Depending on where you live and work, what's your interests, and more importantly - personality, you may find different experience out here.

From my personal experience, it's pretty much like some of the description of Columbus you wrote. As a female similar to your age, most of my friends are married with kids or in the process of getting married or having kids, the culture is very family oriented. Sorry, cannot speak for the three college campus because I rarely go there. People I know here are from all over the country and the world, of coz, including local born 'southerners' (if being born here is the qualification), I do not experience resentment from being different, most of what I saw is smiley faces, friendly nods, polite manner and helpful clerks in store. I guess blue sky does put people in good mood.

There are people feel this place is quiet and boring, well, each one has different standard on these. I guess most of how you feel is a lot depending on who you are, right? Nice to others, most people will nice back to you. Anyway, I like Raleigh region, the weather, the green and the people.
 
Old 04-22-2011, 03:24 PM
 
1,994 posts, read 5,942,828 times
Reputation: 2047
I suspect that the drive from here to NYC will be at least as long as it is from Columbus, since there is so much traffic from northern VA into NJ. And I'm having a tough time figuring out what "KKK" land is (Pennsylvania?).

Raleigh and Columbus are pretty similar in size, although if you include the triangle as a whole it might be a bit bigger. And I would be more inclined to describe Columbus as "urban" than Raleigh, which is quite suburban, as is the triangle pretty much as a whole, perhaps with the exception of the downtown area of Durham, which is quite small.

You are correct that the college sport fandom here is not anywhere near as nuts as that in Columbus. But while there are certainly lots of cultural activities here, there are similar types of cultural activities in Columbus. And I suspect that the phenomena of friends moving away and/or getting married and having kids has a lot more to do with the fact that you are 38 than with the area you are living in. So, I don't know that the triangle will be a panacea for you.

That said, having spent the first 22 years of my life in central Ohio and the last 17 here, I'm definitely not going back!!!
 
Old 04-22-2011, 04:01 PM
 
Location: under the beautiful Carolina blue
22,615 posts, read 36,521,804 times
Reputation: 19819
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fitness Gal View Post
(I currently have to drive through KKK land to get to NYC which makes this Russian-American gal very nervous during the drive).

.
Wow, we moved here from NYC metro area and I never knew we were in danger of running into the KKK as we drive to and fro. Are they hanging out at the rest stops on the NJ Tpke for the cheap gas? Do tell.

I've never counted the drive as particularly scenic but next time we're not taking I95 so as to avoid the 3 hours we sat there in Northern Virginia on a 45 mile stretch of roadway. Maybe our new route WILL be more scenic.
 
Old 04-22-2011, 04:04 PM
 
142 posts, read 282,496 times
Reputation: 142
I'm sorry, where are you from? I didn't quite catch it.

Lol, no I'm teasing, sorry. Anywho it sounds like you'd fit in quite well here. Raleigh is a medium-sized city but it is constantly growing and becoming better and better (see other threads, news reports, and the various accolades the city has received). However we are part of the Triangle and so generally when you describe the area you'll also want to include Chapel Hill and Durham. Both also have their own downtown areas and their own feel. I love going to Carrboro in Chapel Hill, for example, which has a young, hippie-ish, laid-back, artsy kind of feel. However Chapel Hill is also a largely college town so keep that in mind too. Perhaps someone can give a more descriptive image of the three cities, but ultimately you'll want to come visit us before you make a decision of course. I suggest coming and hanging out in all three cities during both day and night.

What is it that you do for work? What sort of lifestyle do you have or want? There's a lot here and a lot to chose from. Like anywhere else, even New York, Raleigh is what you make it. And as has been said we already have many, many Northerners here and I personally welcome all of them (I was born and raised here in Raleigh) and I think you'd find it very nice here.
 
Old 04-22-2011, 04:50 PM
 
Location: RTP area, NC
1,277 posts, read 3,535,723 times
Reputation: 961
You might want to take a look at Meet-Up and see what type of social life things are offered here. I agree with the prior poster...that it is church-friendly, family oriented - but that could be my bias because those are the groups that I interact with here in Raleigh.

It is also very basketball/football oriented - so if you follow either sport - then you'll find lots to do with tailgates and games. <smile> don't let me leave out Hockey.

I don't think you could even begin to compare NYC to the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area - It is much quieter here. There are events, but they are something to plan your time around rather than think 'oh - wonder what is going on this evening' and finding something fabulous to do.

With that, the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area is 3 hrs to the mountains, 2 hrs from the nearest beach, and 5 hrs to Washington D.C. so if there is nothing going on then you can escape to someplace scenic.

NYC is 10 hrs away - more if you get caught in D.C. traffic where the I95 merge is south of D.C. Is your mother's age of concern? If so, you really might consider a move closer to NYC - New Haven is a reasonable city as is someplace like Danbury CT.
 
Old 04-22-2011, 06:35 PM
 
142 posts, read 282,496 times
Reputation: 142
Absolutely, definitely agree with above poster. But adding to that, there's a LOT going on usually. The trick is just to find the websites, people, articles, ads, etc that tell you where stuff is. But there's always something to keep you busy. Like I said, Raleigh is what you make of it. I also agree though that Raleigh is not New York which may be exactly what you want. New York and Raleigh are apples and oranges though.
 
Old 04-22-2011, 06:54 PM
 
1,832 posts, read 5,074,227 times
Reputation: 1110
I would recommend you visit a few times and each time spend a weekend in various towns--you may love Chapel Hill/Carrboro for the academic environment; or downtown Durham or certain parts of Raleigh.

I'm about your age but have young kids and am married. I was always an urban dweller through grad school and my early years as a married person. I miss that. We live in suburbia (Morrisville) but I'm very happy here for this place in my life. But if I could afford it I'd live in Chapel Hill, hands down.

As long as you're not expecting a big city, and can deal with several small cities each with their own flavor, you'll probably like it. There's a LOT to do across a wide range of interests.
 
Old 04-22-2011, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
10,728 posts, read 22,723,373 times
Reputation: 12318
You haven't mentioned what you do for work, or whether you will bring a work-from-home job with you so that is not an issue?

Raleigh has much, MUCH less to do than the (to quote you) "BIG CITY". Yes, there are all kinds of small clubs and theatre groups, and it has grown a lot, but since you brought this issue up, you will likely find it "sparse" in things to do if you are expecting anything remotely close to the "BIG CITY". Sports are strong here, especially "March Madness" and the ACC Tournament where people take TVs to work and even school. People toss around basketball players' names in conversation and if you don't know them, don't make the mistake (as I have) of asking "Who's he?" . It is much more suburban than urban--actually you really can't say that the Triangle is "urban" in any sense, especially compared to the 'BIG CITY", and you will find yourself quite persona non grata if you spend all your time complaining about what Raleigh doesn't have that you were used to in the BIG CITY. Raleigh and Durham's downtowns are growing and do have urban characteristics but very small skylines; the area is much more known, and celebrated, for being a "family" area with cul-de-sacs, SUVs, malls, strip malls, parks, kids sports teams, etc. There are activities for childfree adults and even a chapter of No Kidding here, but the pervasive social culture is "Families".

Have you ever visited the area at all? That is a prerequisite for anybody before seriously considering moving anywhere. People can give all the anecdotal data they want but none of us has exactly the same criteria that you do, for what suits you. Again, what industry your work is in may make a difference.
 
Old 04-22-2011, 07:20 PM
 
6,297 posts, read 16,044,418 times
Reputation: 4846
I, too, am very interested in where the KKK is between the north and south. Please tell us. Seriously. I've never noticed it or heard of it.

The entire Triangle is very family oriented and mostly suburban.

There is plenty to do, you just have to take a little bit more time and planning to do it. Looking through Meetup.com to see what people are doing is a good idea.

I wouldn't worry about grumpy natives. Sometimes, they even marry da** Yankees. Happened to me.

The biggest challenge newcomers here is not about fitting in. It's finding a job. After you overcome that challenge, and if you make a real effort to make friends, you will be fine. The older you are, the more difficult it is to find people who share your interests and sense of humor. But if you get out there and make an effort, it will be easier.
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