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Old 06-01-2011, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Durham, NC
228 posts, read 191,358 times
Reputation: 205
Of course the teacher should be able to enforce it. Around here it's no different than enforcing "please" and "thank you." Not everyone grew up in the South, but those students are growing up here now.

 
Old 06-01-2011, 09:14 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
10,357 posts, read 17,433,883 times
Reputation: 6043
I think it is perfectly acceptable for a teacher to be addressed that way. I also would insist on please and thank you! Good manners are just good manners! And "yes ma'am" sounds so much more refined than "yhea"!!!

Vicki
 
Old 06-01-2011, 09:15 PM
 
Location: Containment Area, NC
13,826 posts, read 8,798,423 times
Reputation: 11019
I didn't ask, but I wonder... Does your child mind?

If so, why?

If not, what difference does it make?

Learning early how to socialize and what constitutes a polite norm here in your hometown area is a GOOD thing.
 
Old 06-01-2011, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
7,943 posts, read 10,310,339 times
Reputation: 7456
I can't see how anyone would be offended by someone teaching their child manners, but my jaw drops a lot when I reads some of the stuff on here from transplants. Maybe you would prefer them to say "Yeah, WHUT?? You godda PRAHBlem wit dat??"

You are, of course, free to move back to the NE if it causes you such turmoil that someone is trying to teach your child to be polite.
 
Old 06-01-2011, 10:36 PM
 
14 posts, read 89,107 times
Reputation: 14
Well, just to specify, I am not from the NE or the NW for that matter, I grew up in Southern Europe and moved here after college. I grew up addressing adults with a "formal you" and I teach my kids to say "thank you" and "please", so I AM for politeness, don't get me wrong here. I guess I didn't realize how important it is in the south to use "yes ma'am" . You overwhelmingly convinced me of the fact.
 
Old 06-01-2011, 11:46 PM
 
711 posts, read 676,546 times
Reputation: 1057
Okay, southerner born and bred checking in (and for the record, I don't have a problem with a teacher enforcing "yes ma'am"), but I had NO idea that "yes ma'am" was still "hot"! I'm actually kind of impressed!

Both of my parents are from NC--my mom from out near Lumberton, my dad from Durham. For some reason, they chose NOT to enforce "yes ma'am/yes sir". In fact, if I said "Yes sir" to my dad, he assumed I was being facetious or smart-mouthed. I really have no idea why they decided not to enforce this; I'm sure it's something they were required to do. I may ask them tomorrow just out of curiosity.

I don't remember any teachers or anyone in church requiring this when I was young either. Maybe that's why I'm so shocked it is still commonly used. However, if a teacher had requested it, I'm sure my parents would have forced me to comply.

I absolutely DESPISE when kids answer with "Huh?" or "Whaaat?" That makes my blood boil. I will generally correct kids I know and make them say "Yes".
 
Old 06-02-2011, 03:26 AM
 
1 posts, read 988 times
Reputation: 16
My jaw dropped reading YOUR reply. The original poster said nothing about wanting her child to be disrespectful or address her teacher in a manner as rude as you imagine. Yes m'am and Yes Mrs. Teachers last name are both respectful. Yes Mrs. Teachers last name is not akin to YEAH WHUT....
In my opinion either yes m'am or yes mrs. Teachers last name are perfectly acceptable and respectful. The teacher should correct yeahs and whats, but if she's correcting yes mrs teacher's last name she is being too picky. And yes I grew up in the south.
 
Old 06-02-2011, 04:20 AM
 
2,027 posts, read 1,417,160 times
Reputation: 2637
"There are four ways to do things: The right way, the wrong way, the Navy way, and my way. And on MY ship, we do things MY way." Lt. Cmdr. Philip Francis Queeg, aboard the Caine
 
Old 06-02-2011, 05:32 AM
 
Location: Ellicott City MD
2,246 posts, read 5,786,221 times
Reputation: 1747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirtina View Post
I would like to have a general opinion from all of you living in the Triangle: should a 5th grade teacher enforce "Yes ma'am" rather than "Yes, Ms K."? The teacher should be sure the kids are polite and respectful but not everybody grew up in the south!
In general, I think the teacher should be able to enforce whatever she prefers. However, I'm reminded of a 4th grade teacher I had (in Raleigh, 35 plus years ago) who got married during the year and chastised students any time they inadvertently called her by her maiden name. In my teacher's case, it was among the many ways that she made it clear to us that we couldn't do anything right in her eyes, and it was a very stressful year.

As others have pointed out, you are asking about the difference in two different respectful forms of address, not "Yes, ma'am" and "Yeah." It is possible that it is fine. It is possible that it is a sample of the teacher's attitude towards the students, and it may be an attitude that is more focused on chastising than learning.
 
Old 06-02-2011, 06:02 AM
 
1,832 posts, read 2,982,722 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirtina View Post
I would like to have a general opinion from all of you living in the Triangle: should a 5th grade teacher enforce "Yes ma'am" rather than "Yes, Ms K."? The teacher should be sure the kids are polite and respectful but not everybody grew up in the south!
Well, you say "not everybody grew up in the South" so I assume you are referring to yourself, not your child, who is obviously growing up in the south .

I *did* grow up in the south, so I'm biased perhaps, but I say When in Rome . . . !!! You're not one of those people who get mad at immigrants for not speaking English, are you???

Saying yes ma'am to a particular teacher is simply learning to address a teacher as she wishes to be addressed, which is common respect. It may rub you the wrong way, but so does using "Mrs." instead of "Ms." for some, or using "Dr." instead of "Professor" for others. I certainly wouldn't tell your child not to listen to the teacher, thus encouraging him/her not to respect his/her authority figures, which of course what "ma'am" and "sir" is all about.

That being said, I sure hate it when folks call me ma'am, instead of "sugar," because it means I grew up.
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