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In my opinion either yes m'am or yes mrs. Teachers last name are perfectly acceptable and respectful. The teacher should correct yeahs and whats, but if she's correcting yes mrs teacher's last name she is being too picky. And yes I grew up in the south.
I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirtina
Well, just to specify, I am not from the NE or the NW for that matter, I grew up in Southern Europe and moved here after college. I grew up addressing adults with a "formal you" and I teach my kids to say "thank you" and "please", so I AM for politeness, don't get me wrong here. I guess I didn't realize how important it is in the south to use "yes ma'am" . You overwhelmingly convinced me of the fact.
Have you actually heard the teacher say they should use yes ma'am instead of yes Mrs. "Smith"? I can certainly see her saying you should use yes ma'am when addressing me but if student happened to use the other would she really tell the child they were incorrect?
Well, just to specify, I am not from the NE or the NW for that matter, I grew up in Southern Europe and moved here after college. I grew up addressing adults with a "formal you" and I teach my kids to say "thank you" and "please", so I AM for politeness, don't get me wrong here. I guess I didn't realize how important it is in the south to use "yes ma'am" . You overwhelmingly convinced me of the fact.
Oh....and I don't mean to say in my post that yes ma'am is all that important. It isn't important to me AT ALL. But it is to this teacher, and it's perhaps her way of keeping order, it's how SHE perceives respect.
(And, I hope you took my post with the humor that was intended in it! It might not have been clear!)
The thing is, unlike many European languages, we don't have a formal you. Ma'am and Sir are what we have.
I can say it galls me just a bit that kids are often taught to call their parents friends by their first names....."Ms. Smith" and "Mr. Brown" are what I would prefer...but I just go with whatever each parent seems to prefer.
I can't see how anyone would be offended by someone teaching their child manners, but my jaw drops a lot when I reads some of the stuff on here from transplants. Maybe you would prefer them to say "Yeah, WHUT?? You godda PRAHBlem wit dat??"
You are, of course, free to move back to the NE if it causes you such turmoil that someone is trying to teach your child to be polite.
Actually, typical Northerners will just say "yes Mrs. K" as an alternative.
Or we'll use "yes please" and "no thank you" instead of "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am"...
And on a side note...I used to work in a gym and some of the females were not very feminine. I can't even count how many times someone has said "excuse me sir" and they were curtly corrected...LOL
ETA: Forgot to answer the OP's question...
If the teacher wants to be addressed as "Ma'am" then so be it. She's not asking for anything unreasonable.
I grew up in NY and my 6th grade teacher insisted that we say "MAY we use the FACILITIES" instead of "bathroom" and she also insisted that we cover our mouths when we yawned (luckily she didn't object to yawning!). Honestly it's many years later and when I'm out in public I almost never say "I have to go to the bathroom" or ask "where's the bathroom" - I say restroom or ladies room.
I guess what I'm saying is it's not that big of a deal, and it sounds more like an old fashioned thing than necessarily southern. This teacher I'm referencing grew up in the Bronx!
I'd prefer that the teachers teach that 5+5=10 and leave the manners to the individual homes. I don't need a school to be my babysitter or teaching issues that should be learned at home.
The whole premise of "Should schools force kids to reply yes ma'am" implies that there will be consequences for not doing so. I'm sorry, Yankee here (and damn proud) and I don't talk that way, nor do I teach my son to talk that way. It doesn't mean that either of us are less polite because we choose not to put "ma'am" at the end of every sentence.
I mean I understand you have your upbringing and it doesn't make your upbringing any more right or wrong from mine. But forcing your beliefs on the population (not only of students but teachers) is wrong. My son's school has his teachers' bios online and he has not one southern bred teacher(well one FL, but we know that doesn't count!), so I know I won't have to deal with silly issues like this.
Schools need to stick to the basics and let the parents worry about the rest.
Interesting.....
I grew up here from 4th grade, and have NEVER considered "Yes Ma'am" as "southern"...
it is what a polite person says to an elder or one higher on the command chain.
And not a single person has compared it to saying Yes Sir to a male teacher... is THAT Southern too?
I think not... that's just proper etiquette too.
Ma'am and Sir... I'm 50 and use them both regularly.
I am a Northerner and don't think that it is a big deal either way. What I will say is that those natives that think that all northerners should comply with local traditions are living in yesteryear.
The US demographic is changing, not only in the south. A case could be made that Southerners will need to comply with more widely accepted standards.
As another poster mentioned, if you don't like that northerners have "invaded" the area, you can always move.
Have a nice day, maam.
Interesting.....
I grew up here from 4th grade, and have NEVER considered "Yes Ma'am" as "southern"... it is what a polite person says to an elder or one higher on the command chain.
And not a single person has compared it to saying Yes Sir to a male teacher... is THAT Southern too?
I think not... that's just proper etiquette too.
Ma'am and Sir... I'm 50 and use them both regularly.
Post WW 2 many of us were raised to say Sir and Ma'am.
In the North, too.
"Ma'am" and "Sir" are universally respectful forms of address. It is entirely the teacher's prerogative as to how she would prefer to be addressed in the classroom. What's the problem??
"Ma'am" and "Sir" are universally respectful forms of address. It is entirely the teacher's prerogative as to how she would prefer to be addressed in the classroom. What's the problem??
Sounds like the OP has a problem with it not being de rigueur.
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