What's the best fit for me? (Raleigh, Durham: fit in, transplants, chapel)

[Markitzero]

Right now I'm planning on relocating from Long Island to the Raleigh area. (how many posts start like that.. LOL) I've visited twice already, and will be again in a few days to find out as much as I can before a possible move in the fall. I've seen houses, neighborhoods, shopping places, etc. But one thing that's hard for me is to get a sense of people's attitudes. I'm not a very outgoing, talkative person so it's hard to ask people "hey do you like it here!" when I see them on the street. (Plus I'm from NY, where you don't really do that

So without starting any kind of religious war, me and the family are atheists. Not the militant kind, I'm not looking to convert anyway, but I would appreciate that in kind as well. I don't want parents of kids not letting them hang around with my child because they think I'm "the devil" or something silly like that. (I don't want to be ostracized)

I'd ask how religious the areas are, but I don't know if that's a fair question because I'm sure it could vary greatly. It's not the only thing I want to base a decision on, but if I had to go with a smaller house in CH and would fit in better there, it would probably be the better choice.

I've visited Cary a lot, so this time I want to focus more on CH/C and places like Hillsborough. I've read the forum a bit and wonder if this area would be better for a family who doesn't want to hang around the community pool all summer long.

Oh and if anyone would like to chime in on the job situation down there, I'd be all ears. I'm speaking with recruiters while I'm down there, but sometimes they have a tendency to paint too rosy a picture.

Thanks for any advice in advance. I really like area, and I hope it ends up working out for me.

[ReaderGirl]

Eh, there are plenty of atheists around here and I doubt anyone would ever blink an eye at you or your family for your beliefs on that front. Knowing what "BBQ" is will be more important than if you go to church here. At least that's been my experience.

[twingles]

We moved here (Cary) from LI almost 2 years ago and the religion thing has been a complete non-issue for us. We are Catholic, but it's never come up in conversation. People do talk about going to church more here than they do up north (and that includes northerners)....you might hear people say "I know so-and-so from church" or "my church is doing such and such" more than you would hear on LI - but no attempt to bring you "into the fold" and such. We were just up visiting the ILs and my MIL asked my kids "what religion are most of your friends" and our response was "we have no idea - it never comes up in conversation".

This area is pretty diverse, and full of people from all over the country and world. I wouldn't worry about it.

We enjoy hanging around the community pool all summer long - it's like living on LI in the 1970s, hanging out with neighbors and the kids having all friends from the neighborhood to be friends with. Not really sure if that's a "Cary thing" and NOT a "Chapel Hill thing" though I suppose no matter where you live you can do what you want in that regard. I certainly know there are people in my neighborhood who NEVER come to the pool.

Jobs? Don't know what you do so I can't speak to that. Unemployment is higher here than LI, I believe.

In general the people who come here and like it best are people who truly embrace the area and what it represents. People who hate it and want to GO BACK RIGHT NOW are the ones who expect it to be "just like home" and don't really want a change. They just want Long Island in different, cheaper place. Natives and open-minded transplants don't have much tolerance for that attitude.

[peperoberto]

Being an atheist is 100% ok in Durham. No one's ever even asked me if I'm a member of any religion, except for the twice-a-year front porch visit from the Jehovah's Witnesses that I get. It's easy to get them to move on, though.

[evaofnc]

Knowing what "BBQ" is will be more important than if you go to church here.

lol this is so true. You're more likely to make enemies picking western cue over eastern cue around here, and many more enemies by asking what type of animal they're cooking up at the cue this weekend