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Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary The Triangle Area
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Thread summary:

Durham: beach house, romantic evening stroll, crustaceans, BBQ joint, freeway system, Panera

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Old 09-18-2007, 01:42 AM
 
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I posted my "take" on the triangle about 2 months ago:

This Californian's take on the triangle

So, we just got back from another trip and I have more to report... so anyone out there from SoCal, I'm writing this for you

We landed on a saturday at 6am and headed straight out to the beach with our friends. We rented a beach house at Oak Island for the Labor Day weekend. 2 of our friends just moved to Durham from Hollywood, 2 friends have been in Durham for over 8 years via Florida and the others were transplants from all over, but they all fell in love with Durham instantly and are proud to call it home for the duration.

We enjoyed the beach. The water was warm and the beach was uncrowded and very clean. What was different was the fact that there aren't too many waves and you don't really surf in NC beaches (duh). Also... taking a romantic evening stroll on the beach? Not if you are a girl that is scared of crustaceans Crabs... running everywhere on the beach at night. Big ones. No beach blanket bingo for us! The house we rented was a great value. Clean, new and decorated nicely. I'd go back...

Lunch on Oak Island proved itself difficult. Between the hours of 11am and 1pm most of the restaurants we encountered were closed to shift from breakfast to lunch. The BBQ joint opened late because they were catering a private party. No rushing, not a lot of concern that there was nowhere to eat other than the DQ from 11-1. I'm just saying.

Bugs... knock on wood... not too bad. Rocking on the porch on the porch swing in the evenings was awesome, with a few citronela candles lit. Not so awesome would be the fact that we're night owls... most people out there aren't, unless you go to a bar. Again, the DQ stayed open late.

Headed back into town on a monday and I was able to explore for most of the week with our rental car and GPS. I actually didn't get very lost. Things seemed to "gel" and I could understand the freeway system a bit better. What I couldn't get over... the amount of road kill. Again... this is the sqeemish girl in me talking.

I ate at Panera a lot. Love it there. We also went to Tyler's again at the Tobacco campus... very nice.

Okay... so the overall "vibe". I'm not going to lie, and I'm sure I'll get some feedback on this... let me back up... we were traveling back and forth in a pretty tight circle of 30 miles or so. Going from downtown Durham almost every day for various meetings then back to my cousin's house in the center of Cary, where we slept every night. We visited downtown Raleigh on one night, saw the west hills mall (my cousin ate at "South" and said it was amazing). But, being a native to Los Angeles, living near the studios, going to the beach and Disneyland all the time, being able to get in the car at 10pm and see a movie or art show... I found myself bored while staying in Cary. Obvious, I know... it's a bedroom community sort of... but even driving into Durham or Raleigh... the streets were empty (And this could very well change on a day-to-day basis... during the evening commute AND in the future as this place sees more crowding). Freeways empty. The energy most of the time was low. That could be a very good thing for those of you who need a slower pace but for me... it felt really foreign. And, it should be... it's a new city, on the very other side of the country. But if you are a native Angeleno, too... really take the time to get to know this area. It has more history and historic buildings, clean air, artsy areas, shiney new shopping areas, humidity, screened-in porches with rocking chairs, a slower pace, very little traffic... but to me... the pulse was so different. The beach was different. You aren't going to find your quaint shops and artsy communities like Santa Barbara and up the coast. There was a lot of fishing, bait and tackle shops... the thing to do in the daytime was visit a lighthouse or two. I'm used to the spanish-influenced architecture of the central coast cities. Here, there was lots of brick, dirt parking areas and roads, water towers and odd rental places and mini-marts. (All beaches are different... I'm just describing the one we visited).

One last thing... I felt like everywhere I went (Dick's, Target, the Drug store etc) the employees felt as if they had to tell me their aches and pains. While checking out, finding a product etc I got to hear about back problems, foot problems, health problems, their wife's problems, how their day is going etc. I couldn't make a purchase, sign the receipt and get a simple "have a nice day!" It was padded with at least 5 minutes of babble. I'm only pointing this out because of the slower paced factor. Things just took longer. You can't expect to get in-and-out like you can here. Just my observation and experiences on this trip (maybe it was just a coincidence?). OH! And I got a horrid cold at the end of the trip and actually found a 24 hour pharmacy via our internet phones and City-Data.com... this forum rocks! Especially when stuck in Apex at 1am with a fever

So, for me... with all that said...this puts me on the fence to whether or not I want to move.

My fiance on the other hand, is already mentally packing and telling our friends we are 100% moving. He's excited for the change, loves the city and is starting to hate Los Angeles. Back in LA, he'll point out things on the news, the dirty air, the crime, graffiti and so on. He took me on a driving tour of homes under $400K. Scary neighborhoods, tiny lots and houses that needed major work. He has started a daily campaign against LA and pro-NC to try and change my mind. We've hit our local BBQ joint 3 times since coming home. He is very critical and says it's 80% close to what we had while in NC

If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask... or DM me. I think I'm more hyper-sensitive to the overall "feel" of a new area so if you want the extreme opinion on something, I'm your gal

I got a negative point for my last post on "my take of the triangle". These are only my observations and opinions for those who are concerned about moving specifically from SoCal. If you are from NC and want to move to Los Angeles I could give you my opinions, too... I've lived here 30 years and know this area quite well and know many people who have moved here and stayed and many who have moved here for a few years then high-tailed out. I'm just being realistic and open about what I encountered on my trips. And, because my better half is completely in love with the triangle area, I need to make a decision and be as objective as possible. Don't worry... if I hate the place I'm not going to move there... and be YOUR neighbor I'm trying to keep an open mind... I hope you will, too
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Old 09-18-2007, 05:36 AM
888
 
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nice post, thanks for the report.
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Old 09-18-2007, 06:29 AM
 
Location: SoCA to NC
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Your "observations" leave me to believe you will find it very difficult to be happy here. Some people are just meant to stay in LA I mean that in the most respectful way
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Old 09-18-2007, 06:32 AM
 
Location: Clayton, NC
1,515 posts, read 6,965,880 times
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My brother moved from NC to LA...he said its a completely different scene! (I wouldnt last a day!)

Good outlook on the Triangle! I'm actually a Raleigh native but recently moved to Clayton. All that blabber you encountered was just "Southern hospitality". Small talk. Next time you come in, that person might remember you or you might remember them enough to say, "Hey, hows that back treating you?"
Its just polite talk, you will get used to it.

Also, out here, when we say, "Let's do lunch", it is usually followed up by a phone call soon after with actual plans of meeting for lunch. So, dont let that one take you by surprise. My brother told me that's what people say out there as opposed to saying "See you later".

As for the nightlife, college life is back in session so you might see a bit more activity now, especially on the weekends.

Good luck with your move if you come out here!
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Old 09-18-2007, 08:52 AM
 
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Thanks for the up-date, Petunia.

Ferrickhead said a lot of what I thought while reading your post. Small talk is just part of the lifestyle down here. You'll find that many clerks at stores will talk to you, as will random customers you encounter in the aisles. They'll talk about the cold that's making them sniffly, they'll talk about the weather, they'll discuss whether eggs are supposed to be good or bad for you this week, etc. This doesn't happen at every single store every single time you shop, but it happens frequently. It's just the friendly way that people are here. It's one of the ways that they acknowledge that you're a human being rather than just a consumer.

There are still a few things to do after 10pm here. It's too late to go to the theater, but you can probably still catch a movie or find a place to get a drink. It's true that the options are limited compared to what you have in LA, but I think our options are very similar to what can be found in any other similarly sized metropolitan area in the US.

You said your cousin ate at "South" and loved it. I'm a little confused. Is that the name of a restaurant? Or a mall? Because of your phrasing, I thought that you might mean the Southpoint Mall area, but I don't want to assume.

As you've now noticed, the beach communities here then to be a bit more rustic and laid-back. I've heard people from DC talk about how the slower pace bothered them at first ... until they realized that the whole reason why they went to the beach in the first place was so that they could slow down & relax. It makes perfect sense that the people who live and work there crave that slower pace, too.

I think that anyone who truly loves living in a place like LA is bound to be disappointed with North Carolina. Life is just too different here. Petunia, if you end up following your fiance here, I hope your friends help you adjust to the differences & learn to appreciate your new home. Good luck!
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Old 09-18-2007, 08:57 AM
 
693 posts, read 2,754,860 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia16 View Post
One last thing... I felt like everywhere I went (Dick's, Target, the Drug store etc) the employees felt as if they had to tell me their aches and pains. While checking out, finding a product etc I got to hear about back problems, foot problems, health problems, their wife's problems, how their day is going etc. I couldn't make a purchase, sign the receipt and get a simple "have a nice day!" It was padded with at least 5 minutes of babble.
That is BIZARRE. It has never happened to me. Actually, most times they engage with me in a nice (quick) conversation, smile, and I pretty much ALWAYS get a "Have a nice day" when I leave. Maybe because they all like me lol.
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Old 09-18-2007, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
12,475 posts, read 32,136,501 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grass Is Greener View Post
That is BIZARRE. It has never happened to me. Actually, most times they engage with me in a nice (quick) conversation, smile, and I pretty much ALWAYS get a "Have a nice day" when I leave. Maybe because they all like me lol.
NO DOUBT!!!
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Old 09-18-2007, 09:39 AM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,705,761 times
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I agree with "Tunia" on the energy/pulse thing. You notice it when you go from this city to another one even if the metro area is generally the same size as RDU. I noticed a wee pickup in energy/pulse when I went to Charlotte a couple of weeks ago but there wasn't this huge difference that made me say "WOW, Charlotte has a lot more energy than RDU". Now when I went back to FL on vac last month I noticed a huge difference in energy/pulse and while both areas are laid back, the laid back there felt different than here. It's like the people had a different energy about themselves.

For someone from LA, the differences should be readily apparent before that person even visits here but even more so when you step foot off of the plane. Tunia, don't move here if you aren't ready for a slow down and a difference in the energy people have about them. No place is for everyone. If I had a home in LA and was making good money, I wouldn't move here unless I had to.
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Old 09-18-2007, 09:47 AM
 
4,606 posts, read 7,666,249 times
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Smile NC too friendly.....

The previous posters have explained very reasonably some of what you
have expressed you encountered during your second visit here to NC.
And is it correct you only visited NC twice?

Having lived in an area for 30 years as you are saying with yourself and LA, please take into consideration that this length of time in an area will certainly
play a vital role in your thoughts and decisiveness when seeking out possible other areas to live. And that gives a disadvantage right off the top for any area that isn't remotely similar to what one is already used to.
You need to explore some place with a bit more similarities as to where you are now. And also communicate better with your fiance' on what you are also wanting in a place to call home. You seem very content tho to stay put right where you are,
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Old 09-18-2007, 09:49 AM
 
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One of the nice things that made me decide to relocate to the triangle is that when I go in stores and ask the clerk how they are doing they tell me. May take a little longer and when they are down and you brighten them up with a positve outlook for life and the rest of the day they are really appreciative. It is very interesting for I am a minority and non minorities with a down home drawl can be so polite and thankful and truly say come back again. So I am for good.
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